to be furious about ex's new girlfriend

[bestmamaderwelt]

Right so first post, hello :)
Help please, my ex and farther of my 4 year old is very much a part time father (at best). He often leaves it months with out contact. The last time it was around the two moth mark because he had met and moved in with his new girl fried. All with out telling me and hundreds of miles away.
I try to handle these situations sensitivity for my sons sake, so decided the best thing to do would be to drive my son the 2 hour journey. I made it very clear that it was to be a day for my son and his father to in theory get to know each other again.
All seemed great until my son came home distressed telling me 'daddy's new girlfriend had come' and asking did he have two mummys? Now where would a 4 year old get an idea like that from. I am furious, am i being unreasonable?

*unjust

You need to be a little harsher and tell him to step up, don't make it easy on him.Of course you want your son to have a relationship with his dad, but where is the effort on his part?
And the first time in a long time they spend time together your son is asking you questions like that.He needs stability with his farther and then if they are a serious couple then comes the step mommy talk.
I do feel sorry for you as it sounds like you just want the best by your son.I not sure I could have been that understanding.

This is the thing mommyof2 how long do i continue to go out of my way so that my son sees his father? Im thinking with out my input it wouldn't happen at all. Which is also why it feels like a bit of a kick in the teeth.

unfortunatly you can't do it on your own, he has to want to make the effort too, and I would not take your ds now to see him, tell him that next time he can make the effort and come see him and maybe take him out where you live.

And also that your ds needs a routine, so every two weeks or when it suits you both.

And if he does not make the effort then he will be the one loosing out, you can't make someone make the effort.It is a shame for your ds but it is better for him IMO if he don't see him rather than be let down and go 6 months between visits.