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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want the PTA to realise that I'm busy?

75 replies

mitochondria · 18/01/2011 20:36

Got a letter in the book bag today. Tuesday.

"Please could you provide cakes, on Friday. Your child will be bringing home a plate on Thursday. Sorry for short notice."

If I genuinely didn't give a shit I'd just bin the letter, but I do try to support things where I can.

But I just do not have time to bake this week. Could they not have let me know on Friday, then at least I could have bought something at the weekend?

I'm sure someone somewhere has a list of "those who do not supply cakes". Well, I'll be on it.

OP posts:
Sassybeast · 18/01/2011 22:37

What Bibbitybobbity said.

AtYourCervix · 18/01/2011 22:38

take plate.

glue 4 £ coins on it artfully.

return to school

feel smugly rebllious yet virtuous.

madwomanintheattic · 18/01/2011 22:42

they usually sell mr kiplings at the garage. sometimes it's even possible to buy them on the way to school on the day they have to be there.

or pop out on your lunch break. really.

BeerTricksPotter · 18/01/2011 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mitochondria · 18/01/2011 22:44

Yes, it does give me until Friday morning. I suppose I could be making cakes now, instead of being on here.

But I quite like having half an hour to myself at the end of the day.

Cervix - if they just asked me for £4 I'd give it. £4 I have. Time and inclination for baking, not so much at the moment.

OP posts:
AtYourCervix · 18/01/2011 22:45

But nobody wants to be blackmailed into buying a beaten up Mr Kipling, contaminated with other peoples dog hair and child saliva mixed with icing, and to pay 50p per cake for it, after forking out £3.00 for buying and 'decorating' your own and wasting 4 hours making them look 'homemade' for other lucky parents to be blackmailed into buying.

just send in some cash - so much easier and more hygenic all round.

Original poster
mitochondria · 18/01/2011 22:46

"pop out on your lunch break"

ha ha ha ha!

(that's maniacal laughter, by the way, at the idea of popping out on my lunch break. Would be lovely. But impossible)

OP posts:
AtYourCervix · 18/01/2011 22:46

I have PTA event fatigue.

arcticwind · 18/01/2011 22:48

lunch break? what is that? Haven't had one in ages ...

Have loads of sympathy for not being able to do things on 3 days notice - luckily our pta are mostly parentss in ddor ds's year so know me well enough to realise that and give me plenty of notice of things, or not worry if I do not manage.
One pta member really annoys me tho - she volunteers for loads of stuff then gets everyone else to 'help' her do it as she is a single mum, works full time and never gets to school before 7pm FFS! She gets loads of plaudits for doing so much when in reality she does f**k all Grrrrr

Having said that I love the 4 £ coins idea - maybe dusted with a little icing sugar Wink

NonnoMum · 18/01/2011 22:52

For next time:

15 minutes - get some crappy but edible cakes (either shop bought or Sainsbo's 19p mixture)

Have in some ready-made icing (Betty Crocker does a few OK ones - don't ever do the icing - to time consuming)

Then shove some decorations on top.

Voila! Guilt over. PTA placated. Child impressed at your homeliness.

Oh, and the final step - go in and buy 'em back. They will stand out against some of the creations on offer, but won't be as bad as the worst...

Wink
Acinonyx · 18/01/2011 22:53

Just ignore it. I'm on the PTA and I don't bake cakes. Horses for courses.

frgr · 18/01/2011 23:02

Not everyone can just "pop" out in their lunch break, I work on an industrial estate with a greasy spoon van serving as the only food to buy, for example

I'm sure if it was that simple the OP might have thought of that? Grin

bibbitybobbityhat · 18/01/2011 23:04

I am involved on the PTA of our 600+ pupil school.

I am more than confident that in amongst the parents of those 600+ pupils there are some who, just like some of my fellow Mumsnetters here, would find it more convenient/honest/straightforward just to "send in some money" or "write a cheque for the pta and be done with the guilt".

Funny how, to the best of my knowledge, none of these parents has ever actually donated the money they profess to want to just hand over.

So, op, why not send a fiver with a post-it attached saying "sorry, am too busy to bake, here is my donation".

FunnysInTheGarden · 18/01/2011 23:06

Just ignore like I do. Seriously, I don't have time.

bibbitybobbityhat · 18/01/2011 23:16

Perhaps everyone at the school should ignore it cos they just dont have the time?

I know, we should all ignore it at my dc school - and be £20,000 down on money to spend on the pupils.

Genius!

Original poster
mitochondria · 18/01/2011 23:18

I did state in my OP that I do try my bloody hardest.

They've had plenty of cakes from me in the past.

We've supported every event that we can.

All I'm asking for, really, is a bit of notice.

Is that too much to expect?

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 18/01/2011 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frgr · 18/01/2011 23:22

Well OP I don't think you're being unreasonable, at all.

But then this thread is really about defining how much time is reasonable notice? And that depends on our individual circumstances :)

NonnoMum thinks that Tuesday Evening to Thursday Evening (ready for Friday AM) is plenty of time Shock but then maybe she lives within easy commute of a big supermarket for ingredients/premade, works near somewhere where you might buy cakes (or commutes past one), etc.

So for me, Tuesday - Thursday night is laughably unrealistic. It just ain't gonna happen. But for others, like the people on the PTA, that might be "plenty" of time for them. I think they're showing a surprising lack of awareness for other people's setups, but i guess they don't have anything to lose by hoping some parents will help on this occasion :)

FunnysInTheGarden · 18/01/2011 23:23

then maybe the local authority should provide more funds and not expect parents to do their job for them?

I am serious about the time issue. Both DH and I work fulltime. It's as much as we can do to keep the house running and the children fed. The PTA comes so far down my list of priorities it's not true.

TheFallenMadonna · 18/01/2011 23:28

Well, DH is on the PTA. He'd know better than to ask me to bake cakes with three days notice. And he wouldn't have the time or inclination to do it either. We don't do the cake sales. We do the fetes, the craft days, the discos, the quizzes, the film shows and the school play refreshments (evenings only). But not cake sales.

BeerTricksPotter · 18/01/2011 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BendyBob · 18/01/2011 23:33

YANBU.

I think I must be on that list too. Oh well..

Over the years I have sent in homemade cakes, bought cakes and no cakes. They get what I can manage, I'm afraid.

I saw someone send in a plate of Penguins one year so I'm not alone Grin

isitbecauseIispta · 18/01/2011 23:34

They've apologised for the lack of notice - so frgr, not sure how they're showing a lack of awareness...

Bear in mind that letters may be generated by PTA but are (usually) dependent upon the school to give letters out. Ime, this can easily take 2-3 days sometimes....

isitbecauseIispta · 18/01/2011 23:37

I'm amazed at the level of judging that people assume the PTA go in for. I'm too busy trying to keep on top of sending letters out on time (whilst running my own business...none of the key PTA personel at our school are SAHMs) to have a spreadsheet of People Who Don't Send Cakes - as long as someone does I couldn't give a monkeys Grin

BeerTricksPotter · 18/01/2011 23:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.