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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate work

45 replies

domeafavour · 18/01/2011 12:13

hate getting up, hate having to rush DS out to nursery
commute is ok, good chance to read something or make a list
hate the job, have no guidance, and no support and no structure, and feel completely useless and unproductive, even though I am doing what I can.
Hate the fact that I have a million things at home that need doing, and I can't get to them
Hate the fact that I am so tired, constantly.

Hate the fact that my son is in nursery all day, and I am not enjoying the time I am away from him. Even though he is doing really really well and loves it
And the people here have zero social skills, and there is no chat, no interaction. No-one talks

I need to find another job, need to update my CV.
Need to find some extra hours in the day.

OP posts:

Original poster

domeafavour · 18/01/2011 16:47

I know it's not the end of the world. The last 3 months have gone by quite fast
We did have big holiday planned for Feb, that was going to see me through it, but now with split from H, he is still going and I am stuck working. However as I get a daily rate, I should just think of the money and the holiday that DS and I can have in May when the contract ends.
And have a couple of weekends away with family and friends, and off at Easter.
I CAN DO IT!!

OP posts:

hoovercraft · 18/01/2011 17:52

OP YA totally NBU.

I hate work too

Original poster

domeafavour · 18/01/2011 23:30

Just updated my cv, will get it out there tomorrow.

OP posts:

igetmorelovefromthecat · 18/01/2011 23:33

YANBU.

I started working from home 5 years ago and I will never work for anyone else again, unless something awful happens.

More money, my terms, my time, I don't have to leave my kids. Ideal.

magicmummy1 · 18/01/2011 23:46

You have my sympathy. I don't hate work per se, and I have really enjoyed some of my previous jobs. But I hate my current job with a passion - tense up just thinking about it, often feel physically sick at the thought of having to go in.

Actually, it's not really the job itself - it's a particularly shitty situation that I'm dealing with right now, which seems to be going on and on forever. It makes life incredibly unpleasant, and it can be hard to switch off at the end of the day.

I have always worked FT, and don't have much choice in the matter. It's always been a struggle to juggle everything, but before I felt that it was all worthwhile. At the moment, I'm not so sure. :(

Hang in there - three months is not so long, and at least you have an end in sight!

Eviz · 18/01/2011 23:51

You're definitely not alone. I hated my job for 5 years, cried in toilets and on way home from work regularly.

That said I think had redundancy not come along I'd still be there - hours and salary good, employer flexible, autonomy etc.

But every day I drove home feeling like I'd sold my soul to the devil.

Can you pin point what aspect you don't like? Do you have any opportunity to carve out a slightly different role for yourself, focusing more on stuff you do like?

You probably need to spend some time reflecting, otherwise you'll risk jumping out of one job and finding you have the same issues with the next.

Good luck

MsKLo · 18/01/2011 23:52

Gosh you are going through a lot at the moment with your split too. Maybe try and spend 20/30 mins each night on your 'get a new job' goal? Contacting appropriate agencies, updating cv and looking on Internet etc? Best of luck!

Hatesponge · 19/01/2011 00:00

YANBU.

I loathe my current job, it bores the hell out of me and is a total waste of my time and experience. I also hate the crappy commute as am packed like a sardine on the train for most of it so cant even read (no room to hold paper in fronmt of me!). I am looking for another job, and my only consolation with current job is that it pays decently even if it is exceptionally dull.

Agree tho that 3 months is not long - only approx 60 working days. It seems ages but will soon have passed, and hopefully your next job will be much better :)

anythingwithagiraffeonit · 19/01/2011 00:05

You might suprise yourself...

I'm on maternity leave at the moment and had absolutely no intention of going back, DH said I could stay at home until DD started nursery, I moaned about my job all the time, loooooong hours, very early mornings and very late nights...

Fast forward six months and I want to go back. I love my baby and really, no one is more surprised than me lol! I suddenly miss it so much!

tallwivglasses · 19/01/2011 00:10

I walked out of a job I hated and it was the best thing I've ever done. I was lucky, something cropped up - but if it hadn't, it would still have been the right decision for me - at least my mental health was intact!

But as you're saying 'I can do it!' then I think you should soldier on. Don't feel guilty for taking some days of sick, but try and do some work from home.

I'm now working freelance and do jobs that are so much fun I'd do it for free (almost!)

There's hope x

Original poster

domeafavour · 19/01/2011 11:38

Funny how things work out.
I now have the option of a different role at my old bank. I know the systems, so would feel much more at ease.
But now I am looking at the positives of this role.
I can do 8.30(ish) til 5.
I would have to negotiate hours in a new job
Commute would be similar
New role would be permanent
This is 6month contract, but if I go from contract to contract, I can take holidays inbetween.
No benefits with contracting, but we have illness insurance and life insurance anyway.But no pay if short term sick.
No holiday pay with contracting.
However the contracting is much more lucrative.
a new permanent role I would be approx £1500 worse off per month.

So, its the money right?
Shut up for the next 3 months, head down. And then look for something?
help please?!

OP posts:

Original poster

domeafavour · 19/01/2011 11:49

thanks for all your replies btw
magicmummy, I hope your situation sorts itself out, sounds like the rest of the job is ok
eviz- I do worry about going from the frying pan into the fire, but at least with this role I now know a couple of things to avoid.
this would be a good co to work for I think, in the right role, this is not it though, and I'm not sure how I go about telling them. I am still thinking of doing that though, it's a very big bank!
Hatesponge, boredom is soul destroying, how long can you put up with it?

anythingwithagiraffeonit- I do want to work, I've been through all that angst about what is right for me and DS, and I am happy that I should be working, and he is better at nursery. I just need to feel fulfilled, or not hate it!

tallwivglasses- I'm jealous!

msklo, that's what I did last night, sorted my cv, will keep looking tonight!

OP posts:

begonyabampot · 19/01/2011 11:55

glad you started this as it's made me feel better. I haven't worked for 9 yrs now and my 2 Dc are now in school so I have lots of time to myself now. We can afford for me to stay at home and still have a very comfortable lifestyle. I never had a proper career or great qualifications so any job I'd get would probably very low paid. After reading the many threads on here and seeing that most other mums in my position work (at least part time) I do feel under pressure that I should be doing more but TBH I quite like pottering about and having that time to myself without all the pressure working mums have. My husband is also fine about the set up and never moans or shows any resentment.

I do feel it might be time for me to do something more (I realise I have it very easy compared to many) but might look at something different which I might find interesting such as charity work or something in the community.

How many of you if you could would swap your work for staying at home if it wouldn't affect you negatively financially - so many on this board always seem to go on about their work and how important and fulfilling it is - makes me feel a bit like an underachiever (which I sure I am).

Original poster

domeafavour · 19/01/2011 12:17

oh no, don't feel like that. Just relish the flexibility and freedom you have.
My advice,if you really feel you need to do something, is to figure out what you really want to do. Maybe retrain, go on a course, start a small business. Something that will be fulfilling. But in the meantime, make the most of your free time.

If I had the choice, I would work, but maybe 3/4 days a week. My problem is I don't know what I want to do, so just gone with my experience which is banking.
DS needs a lot of stimulation/attention so he is thriving at nursery and our time now is so much more quality time.

OP posts:

swanandduck · 19/01/2011 12:22

begon
If you don't have to go out to work and enjoy being at home then don't feel bad.

I would definitely stay at home full time if I could.

Original poster

domeafavour · 19/01/2011 13:49

stupid thing is we could afford for me not to work now.
But H was always soooo resentful of me sah.
Imagine if I jacked it in and said you have to support us!
It's the one thing we haven't argued about in the last couple of months, my "contribution" to the household.

I'm never being financially dependent on him again

OP posts:

begonyabampot · 19/01/2011 14:23

dome - that's something I don't have, if anything happened to us like a split - I'd be up shit creek without a paddle.

Original poster

domeafavour · 19/01/2011 14:49

yeah, but I bet you have a nice DH!

Mine will support ds, he won't leave us short, but he will resent every penny of it.

OP posts:

surfandturf · 19/01/2011 17:00

I could've written your OP. The only plus side about my job is that it's so boring I get to Mumsnet everyday! But I'd rather be mumsnetting from home! Can't afford to give up work unfortunately. Catch 22.

Original poster

domeafavour · 20/01/2011 06:45

Ggrrr. Don't wanna go

OP posts:

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