just because DH doesn't have boobs and a fanny

[beanlet]

doesn't mean he doesn't know one end of the hoover from the baby's bare bottom?

Some twat of a man - I think it was Toby Young actually - was on Radio 4 yesterday saying men were genetically programmed to be crap at childrearing and housework, which is why the government's new plan for shared maternity leave was a terrible idea.

And there do indeed seem to be quite a few MNers on here who think DHs and DPs are indeed a bit crap at these things, and so work fulltime, do all the housework and childcare, and then wonder why they are so tired.

Am I truly the only one whose DH does 2/3 to 3/4 of the housework , is a gourmet cook when my repertoire just about stretches to a jar of pesto on pasta, and is a complete genius with the baby? He stayed up all night with DS last night who is teething and very unhappy, while I put my pillow over my head.

YANBU

Can I just check that you aren't in fact me Beanlet?

Oh yeah. DP wouldn't be up at night with the baby if I were perpared to be (which 99 times out of 100 I am). There is a difference between our lives!

FFS
The only thing that makes the Gvt's plan a shit idea is the fact that there is still such great disparity betweenn make and female earnings, making it economically difficult for most families to countenance sharing the load in this way.

Would it be illegal to impale Toby Young on a nappy bucket and leave him there for the duration of this parliament? He is intensely annoying at the moment.

Dh is not as confident with DS as I am, because he spends less time with him, but he's perfectly capable of taking care of him (discovered this when I had a 24 hr D&V thing when DS was 6 wks old). Apart from the odd head around the bathroom door to say "Bagged, I've fed him and changed him. What do i do with him now? He's just staring at me expectantly" it was all fine.

He's actually a hell of a lot more patient than me.

YANBU. Whilst I am the gourmet cook in the house preen, said house would be some kind of toxic waste dump if DH wasn't such a brilliantly anal neat freak with a DIY obsession, and love (yes, I said LOVE) of doing dishes.

Shared leave is genius, loads of dads I know feel really sad and emotional when they'r sent back to work after 2 weeks with baby.

What do genetics have to do with it? We have had Culture for about 5000 years now.

Didn't hear Toby Young but there was also a woman on radio 5 last night spouting off at what a rubbish idea shared maternity/ paternity leave was based on the notion that because her husband was crap at housework all men must be. It was ridiculous, if she'd been a man talking about a woman's inate ability to do any other kind of job because of their gender she'd have been hounded off the airwaves.

ullainga - I would have laughed at you for thinking that anyone could work from home full time with sole care of a new baby.

ullainga are you sure they weren't amused at the naivety of assuming that someone could simultaneously work from home and look after children?

I thought I'd do that before the reality hit....

The main advantage of this though is that if Men can take just as much time off with a child as women can it will reduce discrimination against women by employers.

absolutely coalition - atm a woman 'of childbearing age' (so from 20-nearly 50!) is rather a liability for a small company when compared to a man of the same age, this will go some way to evening that out.

If i'm honest i don't think there are that many men who would want to stay at home for 6 months looking after a baby. I think most men would prefer to be at work.

Just my opinion of course and there are many men who would jump at the chance to stay at home with the baby.

Poor Toby Young :( does he not think he's bright enough to work out how to operate a washing machine, or work out how to put a napppy on?

MsSparkle - The same would have been said about the way many men parent in a more involved way than they did 20 years ago - once you open up space for a wider range of behaviors people gradually move into them.

I just think for a lot of men it would be a novelty at first, like when my dh is off from work for holidays. It starts off fine, he loves it, but by the end he doesn't say it, but you can tell he is relieved to be back at work.

Same is true of a lot of women as well.

DP does 85% of the housework, he's a bit anal about it and likes certain things done a certain way, even if I do it, he does it again after me so I just let him get on with it mostly

We both take care of the DC and there are some days I do more with them and then there are some days he does more with them. We take it in turns doing the school runs.

Only thing I did without his help were the night feeds but we had an agreement on that, he's a heavy sleeper and a bomb wouldn't wake him unless he's had at least 6hrs straight sleep where as I'm a light sleeper. Oh and he can't deal with sick, It makes him violently sick himself.

"I just think for a lot of men it would be a novelty at first, like when my dh is off from work for holidays. It starts off fine, he loves it, but by the end he doesn't say it, but you can tell he is relieved to be back at work."

that could be describing me and I have boobs AND a fanny