to want to be acknowledged as a person?

[Badgerwife]

Since we got married 2 years ago, we often receive letters adressed to both me and my DH, and they state "Mr and Mrs (DH first name) X", including all the ones from his parents.

It drives me absolutely up the wall and I think it should only say Mr & Mrs X and not include his first name.

It's like I've stopped existing as a postal entity, unless the letter's only addressed to me.

AIBU?

This happens to me too and I don't like it. Depends on the person though, I wrote a letter to MIL and got told off for not including FIL on either the envelope or the letter. But imo no, yanbu!

YANBU in being pissed off about it. I didn't change my name and get annoyed by letter to Mr & Mrs Hissurname. Not much you can do though. It's not worth falling out with his family just because they are traditional.

I wouldnt' get too het up about this. I get this too but its tradition and I am married and I really just dont care. I'm still me, I know that, I just can't get worried about it.

YANBU in essence though, of course. Particularly if you didn't actually adopt his surname. If you did, its just the more formal way and it is a bit antiquated but nobody means anything by it (which I'm sure you know)

Hmmm actually maybe your husband isn't remarkable enough. If you were married to George Cloony for instance, I bet you'd want to be called "Mrs George Cloony"

(or someone else you fancy)

Gets to be a pain when you need to use letters as proof of identity.
Was asked for copy of utility bill- no problem except I am for example Mrs X Jones and the bills are in the name of Mr & Mrs Y Jones. How is that in anyway proof that I live in that house?

Slightly off topic but even worse is BT though who refuse to acknowledge married couples and will only set up personal accounts in one name. So I can't talk to them about my own phone line (well I can because I took my business away and use another supplier).

I sort of knew it was an old tradition but foolishly assumed that no modern enlightened person would use it, and so it must be on purpose, silly me!

It's a pet peeve of mine though, no amount of knowing that people mean nothing by it will stop me from going WTF?! when a letter comes through the door

whatdoiknow I hadn't thought about the utility bills problem, but then I have a personal bank account as well as the joint one so it wouldn't happen.

BT though, can they do ANYTHING right?

Its formal standard writing and administration etiquette.

In the same way the people sign off a letter in certain ways, (yours sincerely/ faithfully / truly), and not "cheers then".. or "lots of love"..