To be totally peed off with DH and his man flu.....

[RachelHRD]

This is my first AIBU so please be gentle with me!!

DH has a slight sniffle man flu and has taken the day off work and is still in bed . DS (3) and I have had the same thing for the last few days and just got on with it yet DH is doing a pathetic feeble cough and keeps on going on about his symptoms......

As a SAHM if I have a cold there's no day in bed for me I still have to look after DS and DD.

Men grrrrr!!!! Rant over!

I can remember my Ex saying to me: "You're not a very good nurse" when he had man flu (and I'd had the same cold the week before). "Nope" I said and went back downstairs and ignored him for the next 3 days!

Yanbu this pisses me off too bout my dp. Ignore him and any whining

Are you sure he has the same thing? There are some really nasty bugs going around. If he's coughing a lot, he will feel bad.

I have recently had bronchitis. It ruined Christmas, I was in bed shivering and delerious on Christmas Day and Boxing Day, have had 2 courses of antibiotics and am still not right. Have been coughing till 4am and have not had any really good quality sleep for a while, though managed a good lie in on Saturday morning. There have been times where I am aware I'm "going on" a bit about it to DH but I just dont think I've ever been this sick in my adult life and I'm gobsmacked that I came down with it so quickly and what crap timing too.

Of course he might just have a cold and being pathetic but I'd hate to think he's got this bug and is getting the cold shoulder for it.

That's probably not the case though.

Just to say, if he's usually at work but is off sick, does it matter he's still in bed? That's what sick leave is for isn't it? If he was at work he'd not be able to do anything for you either so is there really a difference?

My dh has man flu too (or ebola - he says he's not sure which), and I am getting regular updates on his physical condition (what sort of cough he has, where he is aching), how many of what sort of tablets and cough sweets he's consumed, the fact that he has managed to have a shower, but that he won't be going into work because any exertion makes him feel all weak and feeble.

He is sharing TOO MUCH. I think he wants a sticker or a certificate to say how Brave and Stoical he is being!!

Ignore him. He's an adult.

Imagine being sick and expecting your spouse to be nice to you.

The bloody cheek of him!

Just reading some other replies. Am I the only one who offers sympathy when my DH is ill?

Dont get me wrong, I dont mop his furrowed brow with a cloth and stroke his hand but I encourage him to go to bed, in the spare room, will pop to Boots for any remedies he needs and will check in on him occasionally to see if he wants a cup of tea/drink/sandwich, particularly if I'm making one anyway.

So nothing major but if you take a day off work, it goes on your "record", so you may as well use it to rest and minimise the risk of having to take more days later.

I know SAHM's dont get "sick days" as such but if you are really really ill (confined to bed type ill), presumably your DH would take a day off work and look after junior whilst you rested?

He can get his own sandwich. If he's truly ill he won't want tea or to eat anyway.

Fill a two litre bottle with water and put it by the bed.

Any whinging, tell him to tell it to the hand.

I don't expect anyone to 'nurse' me so I don't do it for adults.

I'm so glad my Mum wasn't this horrible when I had stomach 'flu a few weeks back.

I think if the op thought he was genuinely feeling awful she would offer some more support. It is quite widely chatted about that some men over exaggerate their illness - or are somewhat more affected by it hence the term 'manflu', which we have all heard. My husband now calls it 'manthrax'. Poor little mite

Tatty sorry to hear you have been so poorly. DH barely has a cough so I do think it is just the same as DS and I have. His appetite is fine and he has been quite happily 'playing' on his Blackberry this morning after his long nap!!

He's not used to being ill so when he is he analyses every ache and pain and is constantly prodding himself - arrgghhh!! He's not getting the cold shoulder just not being molly coddled!

LoL SDTG it sounds as if you and I are in the same hell!!

Oh I hear the shower - maybe he's finally getting up!

YANBU
Me, DH,DS 4 and DD 16mth all had flu after xmas. Yet it was me who had to look after the kids while he had 5 days off sick!! me up in the night while they were being sick.
then he had the cheek to say he must have something different to us because he felt absolutely awful - err hello I felt the same andhad 2 kids to look after and no sleep.
I did laugh though when I went to get more calpol and paracetamol (and cough mixture, flu tablets requested by DH) I saw for sale Manflu Tonic!!
I resisted the temptation to buy it but wish I had after his comment.

So you think he's malingering?

I'd be pretty pissed off if the only earner in our household was putting his job at risk by phoning in sick when he was fine to go in.

What expat said.

Children get nursed and cared for. Adults just have to to get on with it. DH still struggle with that rule but he's learning

LoL devonsmummy they should provide that tonic free of charge to nursemaid wives!

To be fair spidookly I don't think he's malingering as such, he doesn't feel well but is maybe overplaying the whole thing. He had a bad nights sleep and has to get up at 5am to commute so he had to make the decision fairly early.

What I object to is the over analysing of every minor symptom!!

When he is really ill he does get tea and sympathy and if I am ever bed bound (only with sickness bugs not a cold!!) he will take care of the DC's although can't quite manage anything else like housework!!

Adults get cared for when they are sick in my house.

spidookly he's putting his coat on and I'm sending him over!!

:o

My ex used to be just like you bunch of horrendous c**ts.

Who would have thought anyone could rely on their loved ones for a little support when their felling shit.

Your relationships must be as fucking awful as mine was, god help your partners. Lets hope they get out soon.

Horrendous because we dont pander to a grown man with a cold!!!!!!

Charming awubble I can see why she is your ex.....

They will be getting out soon - they're all on their way to mine.

I am relatively sympathetic - I did buy him a delicious piece of tiffin cake when I went to my knitting group this morning - but as Rachel says, it's the obsessive analysing of every sniffle that gets a little wearing!

And awubble - we are not horrendous cunts, we are a nest of vipers - do try to get it right, please!

I am probably fairly horrendous and cuntlike actually. I have very little sympathy with sufferers of any kind - I mean 'sufferers' rather than sufferers IYSWIM. I put it down to my mum and her EVBMC (Exagerated Victimhood and Burning Martyr complex ). There is a woman at work who is prone to sore throats - when she is suffering she always does this little cough as soon as anyone asks her how she is and her voice gets more croaky If that were me and I was really ill I'd shutTFU until it was better or be at home!

I tend to think that really ill people (including myself) are fairly anti-social and should keep to themselves. When I am ill I like to be left alone with perhaps the odd cup of tea and newspaper, to fight it off. Only appearing when I am not flowing with snot and aerosolling my nearest and dearest with bacteria. I think that is what all responsible cold-sufferers should do.