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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think I might have had a text to see how my hopsital appointment went?

14 replies

notasize10yetbutoneday · 17/01/2011 12:39

Friends know that DH and I have been TTC for several months and that i had a scan today to see if I have polycycstic ovaries. i am bricking it as I am terrified there is something wrong with me (I haven't had any periods since coming off the pill).

IABU to think that one of the 5 or 6 friends who knew I had a scan today might have text to say 'hope it goes ok'?

OP posts:

Megatron · 17/01/2011 12:42

YABU, they will quite possibly text you later/after work etc to ask how it went. I hope it did go well for you.

minibmw2010 · 17/01/2011 12:44

They probably want to but may feel that its just too personal to and may look like interfering, plus if its bad news won't want to upset you, etc.

TragicallyHip · 17/01/2011 12:53

I think you need to give them a chance. They might not know you've had the scan already, they don't want to bombard with text's if you are upset or maybe they are waiting for you to text?

TheEvilDead2 · 17/01/2011 13:00

If they don't text by tonight YANBU. But currently YAB a little but U (understandably so)

So how did everything go?

belgo · 17/01/2011 13:02

Sorry YABU. Just because they don't text, doesn't mean that they don't care.

You can always email or text them yourself, I'm sure they will respond sympathetically.

I hope it went well.

BlingLoving · 17/01/2011 13:08

YABU, a little, but its understandable. Having been where you are all I can say is that while this is HUGE for you, and your friends know that, it's not huge for them. It took me a while to accept that but I eventually realised it didn't mean they did't care, just that they weren't as involved in every single little step in the process.

How did the scan go? PCOS is quite easy to see on a scan, and if you are like me, hopefully quite treatable. I got pregnant on second round of clomid. Good luck. Let us know how it went.

Original poster

notasize10yetbutoneday · 17/01/2011 13:22

Thanks all, I had the scan this morning and the radioghrapher doing it said that as she isnt a doctor, she can't give me the results as she isn't a doctor, i have to make an appointment with my doctor ina week's time. But I am worred that she has seen something as it wasn't supposed to be an internal scan, just external but then sheasked if she could do an internal one as well. So now I'm panicking.

OP posts:

Original poster

notasize10yetbutoneday · 17/01/2011 13:22

Sorry for typos, I'm on my phone.

OP posts:

justcarrots29 · 17/01/2011 13:24

Perhaps they are wanting to wait until you broach the subject in case it is bad news? I hate asking questions like that - it is not because I do not care but because I don't want to upset people. However, I would expect some texts by tomorrow or so.

ZillionChocolate · 17/01/2011 13:27

YABU, you're in a very stressful situation but your friends texting the minute you got out wouldn't have made it any better. If this is an ongoing problem, it's not an emergency that requires urgent action from them. They might want to talk to you in person, might not want to pressure you, might know that you won't have results today. I'm sure they do care and hope that it all works out ok for you in the end.

I wished my friend luck for a job interview last week, she said she'd find out that day, she hasn't told me whether she got the job. I haven't sent her another text because I assume she probably didn't (or she would have been excited and told me), it doesn't mean I don't care - I just don't want to force her to discuss a disappointment.

BlingLoving · 17/01/2011 14:36

The internal scan is good - they can see more. And often the radiographer is best placed to decide what will work for you. Don't panic yet and good luck with the doctor in a week's time.

Willabywallaby · 17/01/2011 14:39

It's a hard one, I would wait to hear from a friend in case it was bad news and they didn't want to talk about it yet.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 17/01/2011 14:43

yes i would also wait to hear from a friend in thses circumstances for fear of upsetting them further if it is bad news and also, as you have just proven, you have no results to tell anyone who does text so it would make more sense for you to contact them when you do have results rather than 6 people texting you only for you to say you don't know anything.

IsItMeOr · 17/01/2011 19:02

I wouldn't know how to approach you if you were my friend, iyswim, as I know how hard fertility issues are to cope with, but have been lucky myself in only having had 1mc and then a successful pg.

It doesn't mean that they don't care.

I read your OP and it made me think that you are going through such a difficult process, please don't go looking for reasons to push your close friends away.

Good luck with your results.

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