Toiletpaper and bread 2 AIBU for the price of 1

[PatFig]

We ran out of toilet paper today so I went and got some cheap stuff till shopping arrives on tues
After having a jobby and upon wiping ones jacksy I was shocked to find my fingers going through.
Can I take this paper back because it is not fit for the purpose it is made for,how do I complain?
Picture the scene in the shop
ME "smell my fingers"
shop assistant " they smell of shit"
ME " yes, the toilet paper you sold me earlier is no good and my fingers went through"
"What about the bread "I hear you cry
While in the queue I spied a loaf in the reduced section and picked it up.Upon paying the cashier said she couldnt sell it to me because it was 1 day past its sell by date so I asked if I could have it for nothing ,she said no
round the back of the shop is a large skip in which they through away all the stuff they do not sell. AIBU to look through the skip and help myself?

Ew!

And no

Posts like this make my day.

Thank you PatFig, yours is the true voice of humankind, speaking from an untamed heart.

You can rummage through the skip when you go back to complain - you won't notice the skip smell because you've already got shitty fingers.

Actual LOL, OP :o

YABU to put the bread back with shitty fingers BTW

:o :o :o

lmao - glynis beat me to it - made me lol first time today

YADNBU

go to shops now

Priceless .

If you've got the cojones to take the loo roll back under those circs, then YANBU. Oh, and I believe skip-diving for unnecessarily discarded food is de rigeur among the more socially conscious these days - so YANBU about that either .

1. YABU - doesn't everyone know, if you buy cheap loo roll you have to double it over.

2)YANBU, turn freegan.

Surely you can get half a refund by doubling up the paper and then not getting shitty fingers?

Reminds me of this:

Flatmate (in loo, on phone to girlfriend): Can you get me some bogroll please?

Flatmate's gf:yeah sure.

[flatmate's gf returns home, to flatmate who is still in loo. She doesn't go up to him so he shuffles downstairs in cowboy fashion.]

Flatmate: Did you get the....?

Flatmate's gf: Yes, I got the Bovril.

Flatmate: BOVRIL?

Flatmate's GF: Yeah, you asked for Bovril didn't you? Why did you want Bovril, didn't know you even liked....

[Flatmate shuffles off]

I am thinking about becoming a freegan (I had to look it up.I thought they were something off Star Trek)
The amount of food thrown away each week is shocking

I was expecting to read that you'd wiped your behind with the stale bread. Anyone for toast?