To not want non disabled children using our hard fought for sensory room ?

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

I'm probably going to get murdered for this but meh.

We live in a town with 3 softplay areas and various activites for nt children to do, for special needs children there is sod all, no softplay sessions, no sensory room. Nada.

A few years back me and some others started to go to meetings with our local council to arrange activities and eventually, after much fundraising a softplay area was built in our leisure centre and sensory room was built in our softplay area, it was entirely funded using money allocated for children with disabilities although the softplay is open to all and we get 8 hours per week when it is soley for use for disabled children up to the age of 15. HOWEVER, only disabled children are allowed access to the sensory room, the sensory room is also used by disabled adults and is the only one for 100 miles, it's a valued facility.

Parents have been complaining and demanded access to the sensory room and a meeting is being arranged to review the situation.

Bearing in mind the children/parents who use the softplay aren't always entirely respectful (taking food etc in) and the sure start centre does have a small sensory room for babies/toddlers, aibu to think, sod off, we only get 8 hours a week as it is, I don't want this expensive, specialist equipment being trashed by kids who don't need to be there and have 1001 other things to choose from ??!!

Toughasoldboots, I didn't say all NT children were brats, I said a minority were. . My DD doesn't have special needs, and she is a little angel who I'm sure wouldn't damage anything , the same can not be said of all her little friends...

No problem

YANBU, not one little bit.

YANB at all U.

Inevitably, facilities for children with special needs are less available than facilities for other children. How self absorbed would you have to be to complain that your child is excluded from the only facility some children can access?

Is there any scope for inviting parents who use the mainstream facility to a meeting to explain the issues? If they don't come, then that might strengthen your position. If they do come, well they might have a rethink once they have actually heard the effort that went into it.

donkey- the main thing here is that the sensory room tends to have very few users at one time, and normally with an adult as well. Am I right in thinking that Apocalypse?

Most NT children are vastly unsupervised at soft play- go have a look at all the threads on here for examples- and therefore are far more likely to damage this much needed equipment.

I think you are being entirely too reasonable and wish you all success in keeping the SR for exclusive use of non NT children.

You are not being unreasonable. Back up your position by approaching the council portfolio holder and your local councillor for the council that provides the service (borough, district etc). Speak to your MP as well.

These are very expensive services funded out of a specific budget.

"Whilst I do not think YABU I do also think that saying sn children are being excluded from other services in your area must be a bit inacurate as it is not legal to exclude people. maybe it is more like take up of these services is poor. sn and disabled children are able to and do use the soft play at my local centre."

My ds wasn't excluded from soft play in the way that you mean (in a legal sense), but it became too difficult for him to be there with nt children so he was still 'excluded' in a way and we stopped going. He got too big for the babies area but couldn't understand that he wasn't to climb in there so I was constantly getting glared at and having to fetch him out which upset him (and he really wasn't doing any harm, he is a gentle soul). The main part was too boisterous for him and he would quite often get squashed or pushed over. Sometimes he was the one doing the squashing but only because he tends to do his own little thing and not notice what other people are doing, so I felt I had to hover the whole time to prevent him accidently knocking into a smaller child. I never got a moment even to sit down, never mind have coffee and a natter like all the other parents so it just became a form of torture really . This is the sort of thing that will explain the low uptake that you describe.
Most of the soft play places round here do have SN sessions but they are without exception at 9am on a sunday. I don't want to sound ungrateful but we are like anyone else, sunday is the one day of the week when we relish not having to get up and organised to drag ourselves halfway across town!

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack, just wanted to explain to Tomhardyismydh.

Anyway, I don't think the OP is being unreasonable because there is a sensory room at ds's school and I know how fragile it is. I've seen it closed many times because it is so hard to get repairs done, and that is in a school where all the staff are trained in the correct use and the children supervised at all times.

Ok I have to give in and ask...what does NT mean please?

Neurologically Typical.

Neuro-typical

Yes, yes I know in practise disabled children can access anything but in theory that dosen't happen, and tbh after 7 years of trying to keep nt children safe I think i'm entitled to a break. This is the one place both me and ds can relax, you literally see the weight lift from his shoulders the moment we enter the room, That's what i'm fighting for. And yes at our small sessions they are constantly supervised by their carer with the benefit of not having 50 other screaming children to keep an eye on, it makes my life that tiny bit easier. And I will fight to protect that.

We did approach various businesses and ask for special sessions, none were interested, off our own back we now have

A cinema club (with no adverts, the sounds turned down, lights are on and most importantly no one moans if kids kick off, here are kids of ten who got to go to the cinema for the first time)

Horse riding

Canoing sessions in leisure centre pool

Safe cycling

Sessions in the kids gym

Christmas parties (we did sensory room up as grotto)

Bouncy castle and hall to run around

Trampoling (kids from secondary school help out with this and earn a certificate)

And a few other things, before this we had literally nothing, and to be honest, I get a bit fed up of CONSTANTLY going for a 'long walk' !

tomhardyismydh Sun 16-Jan-11 22:24:28
Whilst I do not think YABU I do also think that saying sn children are being excluded from other services in your area must be a bit inacurate as it is not legal to exclude people. maybe it is more like take up of these services is poor. sn and disabled children are able to and do use the soft play at my local centre.

While it is illegal to exclude disabled people, it's still not always possible for disabled people to access public leisure services. For instance, our local swimming pool does not have a hoist for wheelchair users to get in, or a Changing Place so that they are able to change in and out of their swimming costume. It's also a big problem for a lot of people with autism because they can't cope with noise and crowded areas. Not to mention the ignorance and bigotry faced by disabled people and families with SN children every day when their child stands out and gets judged by all and sundry.

So there is a need for exclusivity, especially when there is plenty out there for NT children and so little for those with SN. This sensory room isn't just about a bit of fun, it's therapy, it's giving them a quiet space to relax and enjoy themselves, it's an exclusive soft play session where they can be themselves without being stared at and judged. You can't put a price on that.

That's appalling. Especially the meeting being held behind your backs.

Agree with getting your councillor(s) on board and also with going through the details of funding with a fine tooth comb to see if there are any restrictions on usage. You have to make damn sure that whoever has the power to make decisions about this understands how precious, expensive, hard to repair and important this equipment is for the people for whom it is intended.

It's like disabled parking spaces - sure lots of non-disabled people would find them handy, but we don't actually NEED them, they should be left for those who do.

UANBU. I'm pleasantly surprised that you're getting so much support here Apocalypse. Not a murder weapon in sight

Another agreement here.

Not at all unreasonable. One way to make it seem less appealing to those parents who want access would be to charge for use of it.

You worked hard to get it and would need to have a fund to keep the equipment up to date and replace it if needed. Obviously that would need to be done more often with heavier use. So saying that a charge would have to be made to go towards it upkeep might well put them off!

Neurologically Typical.

Thanks

Bloody hell phrases are changing all the time. I could have understood 'ND' as in Not Disabled but I couldn't guess that one.

Whilst it is true most children do get pleasure and learning opportunities from sensory play I think in this case as there is another room available to use locally yanbu.

With a bit of imagination you can do sensory play activities at home leaving the specialist areas free for those children who need it most - I used an old tin foil blanket and a cheapo light changing toy and an old fibre optic twig thing when ds was little, hours of entertainment and perfectly adequate for ds (NT)

tbh it never occurred to me to take ds to a sensory room.

If other parents are complaining, it might be because they don't understand where the funding has come from. If they think it has been paid for out of their council tax, it is understandable that they feel their children should be entitled to use it. I'm not saying they are right, but I bet there have been a few pissed off parents that have had to say no to their children and then put up with the resulting tantrum, so they have decided to make a complaint. I'd guess that they have no idea what life is really like for children with SN, or their parents.

Maybe if you could let them know how the SR was funded, put up a plaque or something, they might be more understanding and back off a bit.

In theory, we are supposed to be able allsorts but in practise that doesn't happen, from the silly arse who wouldn't let my niece into a playzone thing because she wouldn't wear a wristband right down to the glares you get if your child barges into a pfb or woe betide accidently takes there drink, this softplay is the only place I can take my son without feeling i'm constantly being watched !

SN children deserve something of their own.

YANBU

Yes that's a good point curlymama perhaps they don't understand where the funding has come from. For example, if part of it had come from lottery money...legally it would have to be open to all.

This is definitely the case with the art room in my son's junior school. Part of the money used to build it was from money raised by the lottery and therefore, they have to make it available to the general public for a certain amount of hours per year.

Maybe they just don't understand how it was funded.

Oh I've had that before at Brewsters, they ended up fetching the manager to ask me to leave because dd wouldn't wear their stupid tabard thing with an escape sensor in it, despite me saying that I would not be leaving her alone at any point during her play session. Most parents get their kids to put them on, then bugger off for meals and drinks but I was going to stay with her and didn't expect them to do anything.

I don't give a monkeys chuff if they think council tax has funded it, it's not free to use anyway, we pay £2.50 per session same as they do

Leisure centre did try to charge extra for sensory room usage in our allocated sessions, we told them to jog on and pointed out all the extra money they've made it what was essentially an unused badminton court (it's been very popular)

Tbh a lot of the soft plays interactive anyway, we have steps which make noise and cause wall panels to flash etc and tunnels which are lit

Money came from all sorts of places, epilepsy support groups, nas, cerebra etc, we're now saving up to buy some sensory 'toys', we don't have any as ran out of money, the irony is the ss one has loads of sensory toys !