To not want non disabled children using our hard fought for sensory room ?

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

I'm probably going to get murdered for this but meh.

We live in a town with 3 softplay areas and various activites for nt children to do, for special needs children there is sod all, no softplay sessions, no sensory room. Nada.

A few years back me and some others started to go to meetings with our local council to arrange activities and eventually, after much fundraising a softplay area was built in our leisure centre and sensory room was built in our softplay area, it was entirely funded using money allocated for children with disabilities although the softplay is open to all and we get 8 hours per week when it is soley for use for disabled children up to the age of 15. HOWEVER, only disabled children are allowed access to the sensory room, the sensory room is also used by disabled adults and is the only one for 100 miles, it's a valued facility.

Parents have been complaining and demanded access to the sensory room and a meeting is being arranged to review the situation.

Bearing in mind the children/parents who use the softplay aren't always entirely respectful (taking food etc in) and the sure start centre does have a small sensory room for babies/toddlers, aibu to think, sod off, we only get 8 hours a week as it is, I don't want this expensive, specialist equipment being trashed by kids who don't need to be there and have 1001 other things to choose from ??!!

Yep, ds won't go to the park anymore after 'the great tower incident'

He was up the climbing tower and had eaten a crisp off the floor, which resulted in a load of kids laughing at him, he thought they were his friends because they were laughing, and laughed back, he tried to talk to them and play. I think he realised they wern't his friend when they started kicking him and throwing food at him, all this going on whilst i'm charging up there as fast as my lardy arse would allow me, and no, I didn't apologise for the language that followed

It's not even just the SN needs either is it?

We're finding it hard ATM because the kids who always played ds3's only real game- chase- are now at a stage where they think themselves too grown up. What parent of an NT child in a play centre will happilt allow ds3 to sit in the baby area playing with the rattles etc? They may 'tolerate' (oh how I hate that word!) him in the big kids area but a lumbering 7 year old, and one day 12 year old, WILL present a risk to a crawling baby just through clumsiness and lack of comprehension.

It's heart breaking BTW to see ds3 tap kids he knows eager to play and them to shake their heads and walk off. Every step prevens a new heartnreak IME.

And of course the soft play has an insurance absolute cut off at age 12: ds3 will satill want to play there at 50. No amount of Sn sessions will balance that.

But knitted breast it is perhaps an undestandle reaction to the idea that whilst my child is increasingly driven out of areas where n't children play, there is no respect for the fact that he is entitled to have safe areas. And that his needs should not be subverted by forcing him to share with n't kids.

knittedbreast you are talking a fair bit of crap about a subject you appear to know nothing about.

That's it exactly. Am totally unapologetic.

I have only read the op but I think YAdefinitelyNBU. I know precious little about these rooms but I'm assuming they would offer little for NT children, being designed as they are for children with disabilities. Therefore, the only reason for other children to go in is because their parents think their little darlings should be able to and not because it would actually benefit them in any way? Apologies if I have that wrong.

Knittedbreast - ironic that you have called the OP and Pagwatch "silly" and "stupid" when yours are the only comments on this thread that deserve those labels.

Of course it is not discrimination. What a ridiculous thing to say. It's not discrimination because this facility has been designed specifically for the needs of SN children. Other children don't have those needs and don't need access. Wanting is different to needing.

If I decide that I want to take a swim in the local maternity unit's birthing pool is it discrimination for me to be told no? If I want to go play with a hoist or a wheelchair should I be allowed to do so?

Irrational wishes being refused does not constitute discrimination. We can't all have every passing whim satisfied at the expense of others.

YANBU at all. Perhaps the people in your area who are objecting don't realise that places like these enable children with disabilities to play or relax in an environment tailored to THEIR needs. A softplay centre may say they are open to all and may genuinely mean that, but that doesn't mean that a child with a disability can access it. In my town there are a few small soft play centres. Most of them are unsuitable for Ds2, because it is far too easy for him to run out of the soft play area and out of the doors in them. Ironically Ds1 would stay in the softplay area for hours and only needs keeping an eye on for his interaction with other children and to step in when he starts getting overwhelmed or stressed. There is one softplay place we've been to in which we were able to let Ds2 play without worrying because it had lockable stairgates on the exit points, was very quiet and had loads of toddler toys about for when he got tired of running through the actual soft play part.

Oops. Gwendoline said that first.

Just skimmed through, but agree with sensory room being kept for sn children/adults.

Apocalypse have lump in my throat reading about "tower incident" Un-mn hugs

yanbu at all.
What if the other children damage it.
There's not enough facilities for disabled children in any case.
What's the matter with the people complaining?
Feckers.

of course yanbu, it's awful that you have fought to fund this place and now are having to fight to keep using it exclusively.

agree with kungfu's post, i can't just send my kids for a paddle in a hospital birth pool if i fancy it and i don't see why this is any different. this is specialised equipment for a particular group.

Sorry to go on, but the more I think about this the more it annoys me. It is a more extreme example of the awful sense of entitlement that seems to abound amongst certain parents these days.

It is like parents who insist on letting their older children run riot in the under twos area at soft play centres. Or parents who think other children should immediately hand over whatever their little darling wants to play with.

How dare the needs of a minority prevent their precious darlings doing exactly what they want. S'not faaaaair.

YANBU. We're in the process of fighting for similar facilities in our area as there is currently nothing for my son to do. If we actually get it I would be horrified if other parents started campaigning for their children to have use of it too when they have endless available leisure facilities at their disposal.

We have 3 swimming pools, lots of sports facilities, 2 softplays and 4 parks within a 3 mile radius of our house, not one of these is suitable for DS1. There is a pool which has a disabled children's session on the other side of town, that session is on saturdays at 8pm! As I don't drive, it is impossible to get reliable taxis at that time on a saturday evening and ds1 is going to bed at that time, it's completely pointless.

Knittedbreast, please consider these points before your next inconsiderate post!

"Ah yes, sn kids get to use kids gym/dance mats at the leisure centre, if they so wish to.....at 8 on a Saturday morning, commonly known as the hour of sparrows fart in this house"

But this is not so different from activities catering for mixed groups. dds fotball session 9am sat morning, gymnasits 8.30 sunday morning.

Piddle off, those sessions run ALL day,until 6/7 pm, those are the only times offered to sn kids and they only run through the holidays anyway.

We get the time allocations no bugger else wants, and please bear in mind leaving the flaming house can take hours due to issues with routine or simply gathering equipment

Oiddle off? what? I think you are in fear of just arguing with what ever angle you hear on this topic, understanably so but I do think you need to open your ears and eyes and if asking a question enter into a grown up debate on the matter. which you just are not. you are very blinkered on your views and experiences AP.

That's because I and others live it every day, and we've seen sn equipment trashed by nt kids, and had our kids mocked, and been told NO at every turn, or on a very rare occasion we get a yes, but it comes with a clause of only being able to use the facility when nobody else wants to, either very early in the morning or late at night, time and time again....

NT children do not need to use this facility, it's all we have, what next, kids racing round supermarkets in wheelchairs and mobility scooters because they've seen other kids use them and want their turn ??!

why does an NT dc need a sn multi sensory room?
they have heaps of other places they can go to.

I have lived it day in day out aswell AP, we just have different values and attidudes to this. I will leave the thread now as I dont want this to be derailed between myself and you.

as I said before I do wish you luck and hope a good outcome is achived.

YANBU of course. Anyone who thinks otherwise has clearly NO idea how hard it is to have any access at all to such a precious space.

NT kids can benefit from sensory rooms; toddlers do, or those with the myriad of issues that don;t quite equate to a disability but cause extra challenges anyway. A child with an EBD for exmaple might well have no access to SN labelling or assessment but would benefit hugely.

HOWEVER that is something that needs to be provided in that sphere.

I worked for a charity that gave grants for cancer funding. if the granst were used elsewhere we had to call them back, charity commission rules. It wasn;t that we didn;t care about other diagnoses or issues but that we worked with cancer.

Same here. No reason at all why EBD kids shouldb't have access to a sensory room, or toddlers etc and i;d gladly sign the petition and chuck in 10p: just not this particular provision.

Its all a bit like wanting our brand new, free cars that we all get

TBH I think the majority of parents would think differently if they understood the situation. They may just be looking at what looks like a fun, underused space and thinking its a waste. Why shouldnt their kids use it?

If they really understood the issues I think many (but not all) would back off and get on with enjoying (hahaha enjoying soft play).

But then I am enternally optimistic

YANBU obviously.

Every reason you have mentioned make sense. The the sensory room should remain accessible only for those who it was intended for, disabled adults and children.

I suggest the parents moaning, do not understand how important this room really is and therefore would not treat it with the respect it needs.

If people are really that bothered they should do something a little more pro-active like get off their arses start fundraising to improve the ss room they already have.

Sorry just have to say that again, if they are that bothered they should be raising money to improve The Sensory Room they already have. Once again The Sensory Room they already have.

on that note, mrsdevere, you'd think it might be possible to suggest this on a sign on the door. 'This space has been funded by x people and disability provision and is for the use of children with disabilities. we would like to thank x company who donated money and y company who donated money for helping to provide this expensive specialist equipment'...

that would send a message to me as a parent that my own monsters were not welcome there, without making me feel like a dick for having got confused about it.