to feel I've failed as a wife?

[WinterChillita]

I needed to get DS in bed this evening and was running late with DD's tea so I asked DH to get some going. He asked me how to cook pasta...

Ah.
Blame his mother.

Nah, your MIL has failed. Not you. Anyone can cook pasta. I'd just blame his parents for not teaching him.

Lol x-post!

er, tell him to read the packet, ffs

On the contrary, I would say you've obviously served him very well. It sounds as though you kept him well fed, to the point he does not have to forage the cupboards and fend for himself!

he could cook pasta about 6 months ago, don't know what happened. I 'taught' him to do that, but come on! We used to have a DH-cooks-on-Saturday rule but he'd cheat and get take-away so we stopped that. I've just told him we're bringing it back in and I'm hiding the phone.

mrsnoggin of course! That's exactly it

He failed himself, ffs!

How old is he? Any man who can't do basics like pastaa shouldn't be allowed to breed.

you have indeed failed

you need to wear your big girl's hard-line knickers a bit more, otherwise you'll be wiping his bottom for him by July

You hear of old widowers suffering from malnutrition because their wives did everything and they never learned to fend for themselves- he'd better get trained up now.

Blimey, do we really have people on MN blaming a man's mother for him being unable to follow the instructions on a packet of pasta?

FFS.

eek! catinthehat you strike fear into the very depths of my soul
snorbs he's a man...they don't do intructions apparently. I don't blame MIL, I'm not a fan of her cooking so am actually secretly quite grateful she never taught him to cook

Blame the teaching system that never taught him properly which means he cannot read the instructions on the back of any food packet/ tin/ carton.

That's what I do

dp cant cook either, we have been together for 6 years and he made me smiley faces once lol speciality is cheese on toast. I dont blame mil but dp cos he's never wanted to learn. Kick his ass lol

to be fair he does a good bangers and mash and makes his own onion gravy so he wouldn't starve. And yea stac cheese on toast/egg on toast is always a winner. I more worry about the DCs should I ever go away, poor mites :)

My husband couldn't cook when I met him.....told him he'd have to learn or he'd be going hungry as I wasn't going to cook for him everynight. Now I get thrown out the kitchen when he's home at weekends. At first he was a bit nervous and asked lots of questions but now I'm shoved out with a glass of wine and told to go sit down

I am always surprised that more men don't twig that, after a few dates, inviting a woman round to your place for dinner and demonstrating you culinary skills is a good way to her, erm, heart.

Even if you're not taught to cook as a kid, reading a packet isn't difficult, surely? I don't think you can blame the mother of a grown man for the fact he can't cook pasta.

Good point, Snorbs.

Ah, y'see, to prevent undignified yelling of "READ THE F*CKING PACKET!" I now use the following form of words:

DH: How long do you cook the rice/pasta/other ridiculously simple foodstuff for?
Me: How do we find out how long to cook the rice for?
DH:

You might say patronising, I say; if it's the 3000th time you've asked, you're really bringing it on yourself...

Snorbs...yes we do because MN mums teach their children to be self sufficient. Or at least how to read a packet.
My DH tries to regress every now and then. But then comes home from WHSmith with Jamie's latest and we have to try endure every recipe. His mother failed to teach him to cook, his school failed to teach him to cook. In the end age 17 in the army he realised, "if I don't want to eat in the cookhouse, I need to buy a book and learn." Simple life skill. You decry it. I spend my days helping teens learn these life skills. Bring back home ec. It's very important.

Dh cooked pasta yesterday

Well I say cooked. His version of cooking involved rough-hewing an onion, bunging in a tin of tomatoes and some meatballs and overcooking the pasta.

It was quite revolting and I do believe that they are DELIBERATELY TRYING TO BE INCOMPETENT.

Oh yes - it's a conspiracy

But if a man (or woman) reaches adulthood and still can't cook it's his/her own fault. Obviously. You can't just go round casually blaming people's inadequacies on their mothers; how insanely sexist! Madness.

Anyway, masses of people have grown up without mothers, or with mothers who have many excellent qualities but are crappy cooks, ot mothers who are ill ... not that this should need explaining