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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in wanting to sleep in today?

18 replies

IDontThinkSoDoYOU · 15/01/2011 14:39

Oh this is my first post in AIBU?!

My DH snored ALL last night, woke me up about 4 times, I tried to move him onto his side but at 5am I'd finally had enough. I shouted at him and stomped off downstairs where I didn't sleep either. I work all week and the weekends are all I have to sleep in, he works day time shifts and has slept in all week.

I just feel so cheated and I have an intense dislike for him right now. He never said a word when he finally got up at 1130 and has now gone out whilst I sit here plotting revenge in a hugely unreasonable way.

He snores most nights but I'm up really early anyway so I don't mind if I have to get up at 6am or something during the week.

Is it unreasonable to ask him to sleep downstairs at weekends? I know it's his bed too but one of us to got to do something and I'm really sick of being the one who has to move in the middle of the night or get up and stay up.

We have tried all manner of stop snoring things and it's not a medical thing he has that makes him do it.

OP posts:
Karaishere · 15/01/2011 14:44

No you are not unreasonable. My OH snores and some nights I have to sleep with my 4yo DD Hmm so know the feeling of you really disliking him right now lol

Original poster
IDontThinkSoDoYOU · 15/01/2011 14:46

Thanks *Karaishere", I was so wound up sitting downstairs while he peacefully sleeps on. I really really wish he was a peaceful co-sleeper!

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Ooopsadaisy · 15/01/2011 14:46

YANBU.

Sleep deprivation is no fun. It is a real problem. You need to have a proper, calm conversation with him and explain that you are not being moody/sulky etc - it is actually becoming an issue for you.

Don't be fobbed off.

Really feel for you.

Original poster
IDontThinkSoDoYOU · 15/01/2011 14:48

I could cry because both of you really understand how I feel about it. And also because I am so tired!

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PocketMouse · 15/01/2011 14:54

Why didn't you kick him out of bed instead of going downstairs yourself?

I do feel for you - DP has been particularly bad recently, waking me several times a night. NOT fun when I have to get up at 6am three times a week Hmm

Those nose plaster things have helped a bit though.

I don't think you would be being unreasonable to ask him to sleep downstairs for one night at the weekend, as long as there is somewhere comfortable to sleep. It's what DP's been doing - he knows that me + sleep deprivation = bag of crazy. :)

moogalicious · 15/01/2011 14:55

yanbu. My DH is a snorer and what with dd2 getting out of bed every night I don't get much sleep. And I have a cold

But, he is the one who sleeps on the sofa if it gets too much - why should I get out of my lovely bed Grin

Ooopsadaisy · 15/01/2011 14:57

I know because a friend had a similar problem with her DP.

He made a joke of it. Made out he was a "real man" and the "little lady" should just put up with it.

She always said that waking up with babies was just about bearable because your hormones help you to do it, but with DP it made her feel worthless and be-littled. She even began to feel it was deliberate. She cried all the time - it made her depressed.

He looked a bit less of a man at the pub then because she upped and left him.

He was absolutley lost - sought help - paid a fortune for hypnosis which worked.

They are back together and very happy.

compo · 15/01/2011 14:59

My dh sleeps in the spare room if he snores

Original poster
IDontThinkSoDoYOU · 15/01/2011 15:04

pocketmouse I shouted loud enough at him that I woke my DS up. I guess DH chose to ignore me because I am sure he must have woken up.
I will wait until he gets back and try to have a reasonable conversation with him about it.
There is somewhere comfortable to go downstairs, I was just so wound up that I couldn't get back to sleep.
He has a job that puts other people at risk if he's not tip-top so I would guess that's why I'm the one who goes off.

OP posts:
Ooopsadaisy · 15/01/2011 15:07

I appreciate that he has a responsible job but you shouldn't crash the car because you are knackered either.

Remember - sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.

It is a serious issue.

Original poster
IDontThinkSoDoYOU · 15/01/2011 15:10

Thanks Ooopsadaisy
It certainly felt torturous first thing!

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KathMCB · 15/01/2011 15:14

Have you thought about taking it in turns to sleep in spare room? I know how you feel - you need to be careful it does not turn into a major problem....YANBU though, you need your sleep and there is NOTHING more frustrating than wanting to desperately sleep and watching someone blissfully asleep...ARGHHHH

Original poster
IDontThinkSoDoYOU · 15/01/2011 15:16

Thanks KathMCB we don't have a spare room, just the sofa downstairs but it's fine to sleep on although probably not every night.

OP posts:
IAPJJLPJ · 15/01/2011 15:21

is he over weight?? that is often the problem

Original poster
IDontThinkSoDoYOU · 15/01/2011 15:23

God no, he weighs less than me, I'm 10 stone something!

OP posts:
KathMCB · 15/01/2011 15:24

www.telegraphhome.co.uk/s046/shoe-storage-bed-in-a-cupboard/

very expensive....

Seona1973 · 15/01/2011 15:42

have you tried ear plugs?

Original poster
IDontThinkSoDoYOU · 15/01/2011 15:50

SEona I sleep with earphones in and the radio on!
Like the bed in a cupboard idea. I would like it even more if I could put it in the garage! Grin

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