to wish oh could keep a stiff upper lip?

[doublechocchip]

Basically I have been sufferng some health probs recently, quite embarassing so wont go into much detail but a few of them are 'health signs you should never ignore'. I have never had any trouble with my health but things have been getting much worse so i bit the bullet and went to see the doctor.

She was concerned enough to get my bloods done straight away and rush through a hospital appt. for monday.

Now the only people Ive told is my sis and oh and even then not all the details mostly because its embarassing and oh is a worrier.
Monday seems to be taking forever to come and even though I know I shouldnt Ive been looking at my symptoms on the internet and none of the outcomes are good and right up there is cancer and I have every sympton. Now Im not hyesterical and the rational part of me knows not to get worried until I see the consultant but the irrational part just wants some reassurance so I confided in oh last night that I was a bit scared and oh my word! He was sobbing his eyes out saying he didnt want to lose me and basically making me feel awful for telling him.

He didnt got bed till about 3 in the morning and has been waliing round all morning all mournful and sorrowful, now aibu to wish if he was feeling upset he could have hidden it a bit better I just wanted a hug and 'everything will be alright'.

Its lovely that hes so concerned but now I feel worse for telling him and wish Id kept it to myself

It's a bit late now but the no.1 rule of being ill is don't google. Having said that, it's almost impossible not to.

Your dh is being completely unreasonable. I know that he has to deal with a lot of emotions too but you don't know that you have cancer and even if you do, it may well be very treatable.

If it is cancer then you need to know that he is not going to fall to bits during your treatment and will support you both physically and emotionally. Obviously you need to know he cares but it's going to be so much more difficult if you feel guilty and unable to talk to him for fear of upsetting him.

sorry to hear this is such a worry doublechoc. can you tell your dh to buck up? tell him it isn't helping you one bit. him falling apart leaves you to look after him, when this is the time he's supposed to be looking after you.

when my kids' dad (exh) died suddenly I couldn't stop the tears streaming down my face 24/7 (mainly for them) - they asked me not to do it so I just had to stop it. did it for them.

hope monday comes round soon enough and you manage to relax this w/e

Good luck on Monday. My DH would be exactly the same and I've already vowed to myself that I won't tell him if I suspect serious illness until I know!

ok, can't hold out any longer (and you may have posted somewhere else?). but... how did it go?