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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MEN?! Who the f*** needs them!

16 replies

InnocentRedhead · 15/01/2011 04:23

Sorry for the title, i am not always like this against men, but tonight i really have had it with a few of their species!

And this is my first outing in AIBU, so please be nice :)

Just a few sexist, horrible, looking down their nose at me bastards! There is worse words i could use but after the swear word hierarchy i daren't use them!!

Well, basically, at work ALL night the bouncer and the other (male) receptionist have being talking, fair enough, just about stuff in general but there has being a few things said that pissed me right off! This is what really got to me! They were both talking around my desk and i just piped into the conversation (bearing in mind having to put up with sexist remarks all night) saying summat as a joke - not even insulting at all - and they both looked at me like shit and said who the fuck asked you?!

So, was i being unreasonable to just basically erupt at them, i just told them i was sick of their attitude (to which they replied 'woah calm down') and that they have being horrible to me all night and i was getting really down about it. They then proceeded to not care and carry on being rude to me. So i went out back for 3 cigs in a row, they didn't even touch the sides

So was i BU having a go?

Sorry i know it a bit of a pansy one but i just needed to offload and have a soft intro into the world of AIBU

OP posts:
BelfastBloke · 15/01/2011 05:18

You want to "have a soft intro into the world of AIBU" and want people to "please be nice", with a thread title like that?

When all you're actually saying is "I was irritated by some irritating men who irritated me. Was IBU to erupt at them? Please agree with me without knowing anything about it, because the irritating people were men".

MadAboutQuavers · 15/01/2011 05:25

Most bouncers/doormen have this attitude to women, IME

What do you expect, OP? An intelligent conversation?

Original poster
InnocentRedhead · 15/01/2011 05:29

I do not have a problem with men! And i do seem to say this in my OP, if you could care to look again. It's just tonight and some of the things they were saying - as mentioned - sexist remarks, thinking i am not capable of my job (i did not put the latter) that made me like this.

So BelfastBloke, please take heed to the fact that i did say that i generally don't have a problem with men. It also seems like you think sexist comments are just 'irritating'

I was actually asking was i BU to react as i did to sexist comments and people, rather than report it to my bosses.

OP posts:
Original poster
InnocentRedhead · 15/01/2011 05:30

Quavers, thats the thing, the other doorman is perfectly lovely, sweet and polite so yeah you are generalising a bit BUT the exceptions are quite often few and far between..

OP posts:
Misfitless · 15/01/2011 06:00

If you're going to rant on like that you need to give more information TBH and this thread is a bit lame IMHO because the answer is obvious it's beyond debate. How can we tell you if YABU without knowing at least a slice of what they've said? Needlessness to say horrible sexist men are pigs (so are sexist women) and YANBU to give them a peace of your mind - that's obvious. You did well, TBH, I probably would have been too shocked/upset to voice my disgust or ... the all time worst reaction EVER ... cried! What you said to them is irrelevant, sadly, because as they have demonstrated with their 'whoa calm down' reaction that they see you as merely an emotional, overreactionary girly type. How awful to be subjected to this. Be strong? Do you have any allies at work who you can confide in and/or rant to? If your boss is approachable and understanding I would approach him/her but you need to be calm and repeat word for word what they have said to you.

Misfitless · 15/01/2011 06:03

Ill placed question mark, sorry. Be strong -sounds like you are strong alread. Keep that up and don't let them dent your inner strength and confidence.

Original poster
InnocentRedhead · 15/01/2011 06:28

Probably shitly worded because i'm coming to the end of a hard 12 hour shift, and probably thats why post not comng across as bad as it actually was. Im actually suprised i didnt cry tbh too! And yeah i'm going to report it to security and managers, and because the whole place is mic'd i can just have the recording dictated and put into words. Now i have had chance to calm down and think about it, my thread title etc. does look a bit silly worded.

Tiredness has a lot to answer for!

OP posts:
Misfitless · 15/01/2011 06:46

It's understandable - think it's a good idea. Go straight to bosses as soon as possible. I feel for you. I had a similar experience myself many many years ago when I was a young impressionable (about 18 years old at the time). I'm sorry if I was harsh. Get some sleep and remember that this behaviour is illegal, immoral and that noone has the right to speak to you like that.

Original poster
InnocentRedhead · 15/01/2011 06:55

I'm only 19 i must add. can't wait to sleep tbh! and don't worry about it, i was expecting something like this in AIBU lol, i dont think i will be frequenting it for a while now and will certainly avoid when tired. Thanks for advice

OP posts:
Misfitless · 15/01/2011 21:05

Well Innocent I hope it gets sorted out. Don't mean to sound like an old granny (I'm 36 so could actually be a granny hypothetically, YIKES!)but I've read a lot of sad threads on here as I'm sure you have where women are treated appallingly by partners, husbands and others. As I say to my daughter (who's 14) don't ever loose your sense of self respect, and don't let any man disrespect you and make you feel that you are not worth your weight in gold - you are! Now that I know you're age I think you handled it exceptionally well. When it happened to me I became very depressed, totally lost my confidence and ended up leaving a job I had previously loved because I couldn't cope. Well done for taking such a stance you are absolutely doing the right thing.

Sorry to patronise but you've really struck a cord with me. Hope nobody else reads this - I'll get slated probably!

mummaxmas · 15/01/2011 21:12

where you work with bouncers and desks??

tallwivglasses · 15/01/2011 21:20

Ah, Innocent, I was quite sympathetic to your first rant post, then not at all... and then you redeemed yourself - and you're young!

It's shit and you don't have to put up with it!

pointythings · 15/01/2011 21:20

Innocent,

You were NBU not to put up with this - hope it all goes well for you with the evidence you have.

Most of the time though I have to say I like men. I just couldn't eat a whole one.

tallwivglasses · 15/01/2011 21:22

Grin - pointy

Misfitless · 15/01/2011 21:30

Innocent - let us know how you get on please.
And
i dont think i will be frequenting it for a while now and will certainly avoid when tired please do come back. Feel free to rant, tired or fresh as a daisy I, for one won't mind.

Grin
tallwivglasses · 15/01/2011 21:51

What Mis said x

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