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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think having a water birth is not selfish?

38 replies

Kalypso · 14/01/2011 20:03

A childless acquaintance has stated that having a water birth is selfish of the expectant mother, as "it's only to relieve pain and doesn't allow a midwife to do her job properly". This person is related to a midwife, who is now retired and who presumably shares this view.

According to this person, a midwife needs to be at eye level with your bits in order to best see how the labour's progressing, and therefore unless you're on a bed with legs akimbo, you're potentially endangering your baby.

I was all for a water birth, but due to certain circumstances I wasn't able to. Had I been pregnant when I heard this, I'd have been upset and worried to think that anybody thought like this.

Anyone out there (particularly midwives) who can tell me whether I am being unreasonable to think this is bollocks, provided the pregnancy is classed low-risk?

OP posts:

PurpleCrazyHorse · 14/01/2011 20:05

My MW suggested the pool and they didn't seem too concerned (I think they had a mirror on a stick!)

SeaTrek · 14/01/2011 20:08

That's a new one to me!

I think it a very odd thing for anyone to say, especially someone who isn't even pregnant/as had a baby.

Mummy2Bookie · 14/01/2011 20:09

I dont see how it is selfish.

aPixieInMyCaramelLatte · 14/01/2011 20:10

That's news to me.

The second time I was pregnant, the MW was practically begging me to have a water birth at home. lol.

ecobatty · 14/01/2011 20:12

I've heard worse. In a leaflet sent out by the French government to pg women it said that not having an epidural is selfish because seeing a woman in pain can be stressful for the birth attendants who then are more emotionally drained for the next mother.

I really am not kidding you.

thisisyesterday · 14/01/2011 20:12

well, my midwives certainly weren't of that view.
and they were actual practicing midwives, not just random people who knew one! lol

they were more than happy for me to labour by myself in the pool with ds2. I only had ONE internal and when I got out to have him they just sat nearby ready to "catch" him

shinydiscoball · 14/01/2011 20:12

I have a good friend who also happens to be a midwife (5 years since she qualified) and she had a water birth with both of her DC's...surely if it was a bad idea she wouldn't have done it?

I'm off to text her to ask her :)

reallytired · 14/01/2011 20:24

Ideas changed all the time. A retired midwife will not be up to date with latest thinking.

My mother who retired from midwifery had not heard of SPD although she told me she had met many women with the symptoms of SPD. Her comment was that she was glad it was recongised.

If water births were bad then they would not be offered on the NHS. I never fancied a water birth, but each to their own. I had a homebirth with nothing but TENS and I did not give birth on my back.

Mishy1234 · 14/01/2011 20:26

No, not at all selfish.

If all is progressing ok the I believe they can use a mirror (and a torch if dark) to see. Sometimes they ask you to come out of the water to deliver if need be.

Idlewild · 14/01/2011 20:34

Have had 2 water births. They are great. Both times had amazing midwives. Second time, 2 midwives were there, and both came up to me afterwards independently to say that they really happy to have been at such a beautiful birth. So they were clearly happy with the arrangement.

Do not wish to sound smug btw. All I can say is if that was a particularly 'beautiful' birth I take my hat off to the rest of you cos that is not the word I would have used to describe it at the time.

scouserabroad · 14/01/2011 20:38

Ecobatty , I think I've seen that leaflet

In the list of things to pack in your hospital bag, it said 'makeup' so you could make yourself look nice for visitors after the birth

OP, I don't see how it could be selfish, surely they could ask you to get out of the water if necessary anyway?

Firawla · 14/01/2011 20:52

of course its not selfish, what a weird opinion. i would just ignore her
lying on bed is least ideal position to have a baby anyway

shinydiscoball · 14/01/2011 20:55

Apparently whoever told you that was "talking total and utter bollocks", there's a professional's opinion for you!

FlamingoBingo · 14/01/2011 20:57

Of course YANBU

bnm · 14/01/2011 20:57

everyones already said it

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 14/01/2011 21:00

your friend hasn't a clue what she's on about.

that is all.

PiccalilliShinpads · 14/01/2011 21:01

It sounds to me that the retired midwife in question is very old school and not at all accepting of relatively new practices ....some people just don't like to be dragged kicking and screaming into the modern world - silly woman!

YANBU!

naturalbaby · 14/01/2011 21:03

I chose a water birth mainly because I didn't want a stranger inches away from my fanjo for any length of time. They may be professionals who have seen it all before but I'm not and I had a fantastic,natural birth at home mainly due to being in a birth pool.

peanutpie · 14/01/2011 21:03

I had a water birth for my second birth. I can remember the midwife exclaiming excitedly "look the head's turning!" (I could feel it!) just before I had the final contraction to push her out.

After the birth the midwife said she had a tear in her eye when the baby was born and said it had been a great birth!

I think my midwife showed that she was pretty happy with water births.

Lulumaam · 14/01/2011 21:04

but the MW does not stand there staring at your foofoo for the entire labour

i have heard of ( luckily not seen!) women being told to get on the bed, or lie down, as it is easier for the MW, as she can't kneel/bend a certain way.. so i am not surprised to hear this...

water birth is pretty much accepted as fairly mainstream as a way to birth, most units have at least one pool..

the MW if doing her job properly, will also be supporting the woman to use whatever pain relief and position is best for her, be it in water or on the bed, or wherever

i suppose if the MW wh oyour friend is related to is a bit old school, she might well be of the lie down, have a shave and an enema and odn't make a fuss dear, school of midwifery

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 14/01/2011 21:11

slightly off topic but when did enemas become the norm for labouring women? was it brought in with the birth (excuse the pun) of the NHS?

xstitch · 14/01/2011 21:13

The water mains outside the maternity hospital burst big time the day dd was born. The MW were cursing the fact that that meant they couldn't offer water births.

Superfly · 14/01/2011 21:21

What utter bollocks. YANBU> I had a water birth after a particularly traumatic first birth and was positively encouraged by my midwife to do so.

It didn't particularly relieve my pain as I recall, but I was determined to use only minimal g&a anyway after my last experience.

Everybody's experience will be different - but if I was lucky enough to get pregnant again and was going to have a straightforward birth - I'd be jumping into that tub every time.

pissovski · 14/01/2011 21:42

ILove - IIRC regulation enemas and shaving of labouring women became common in the 60s, with a more 'medicalised' approach to childbirth becoming the norm. My mum was shaved when she gave birth in the 1970s.

(History/Sociology/Women's Studies -and a general interest in social history)

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 14/01/2011 21:46

thanks pissovski.

i would hate to be shaved by someone else, especially when i know how rough some midwives can be. thank god they don't do that anymore.

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