Sis-in law gave birth to her first DS a day before I had my first DS. She lives 200 miles away and mother-in-law who lives 15 mins from us went to stay the week and came to meet our son a week later.
I expected that our kids would play second best and it has been like that for the last year.
Birthday time is fast approaching and I contacted sin-in-law to find out if she was coming down for the weekend as since last year either she comes down or mother-in-law goes to her on a weekly basis.
She said No as she had booked to go away for the week and she was paying to take mother-in-law with her.
I got very over-protective upset and felt that I should at least say something about my sons birthday as so far no-one had bothered to mention it. I was also fuming that MIL had played secret squirrel and not mentioned it to us.
DH and I had a big row, he feels that there is little point in saying something as it would not change anything. His opinion is that when kids ask where nanny is on birthdays he can tell them straight. But I dont want to have to tell my kids that I want nanny there.
I finally text back saying "thats sounds nice but shame you wont see DS on his birthday and we wont get to see your DS" but she has not replied.
I really want to make my point but know that it will not change. I just think when it is only once a year that they can make more effort, or at least call and ask if we have anything special planned for DS birthday as they want to go away.