because I hate going to weddings?

[DiamondDoris]

I got married (soon divorcing) in a registry office and wore normal clothes, ate in a cheap restaurant afterwards. Am I crazy for hating big bash weddings? I also hate attending weddings, and thank god I haven't been invited to one for a while.

I could be wrong, but I feel like they're an excuse to show off.

I love weddings especially when I'm a day guest and I can guzzle loads of champagne.

I think you're YABU but different strokes and all that.

I'm at that age when all my friends are married and none of their kids are old enough to get married so I don't forsee any invites for a while

Oh I love a good wedding. Especially ones where everything is held at the same place-ceremony, reception and evening do. You have a great day with good company and food (hopefully) without any of the worry.

I didn't have a big white wedding, I got married in Cyprus with 12 members of family present. We already had our two dd's so didn't want to spend a fortune but I'm all for it if that's what the happy couple want.

If you don't want to go to a Wedding, don't go. If you get an invitation send a polite reply. Most Brides wouldn't want someone to be miserable. Just don't tell the Bride or Groom they are doing the wrong thing because that would be rude imo.

I don't think they're showing off
I thnk they're a way of celebrating with friends and family
maybe your divorce has put you off all weddings?

Sour grapes?

My cousin got married last summer and the do was a very relaxed and informal affair held in my auntie's stunning back garden (cousin is a landscape gardener). It was the best wedding reception I have ever attended.

Yes, the bride and groom wore wedding gear and the guests dressed up, but it added to the sense of occasion and made it into a very special day.

Most people want their wedding day to be special so YABU for wanting to pour cold water onto other people's wedding plans. Although I agree that hugely expensive, flashy weddings are a tad OTT.

For the record OH and I had a small, simple church wedding and had the reception at a nearby hotel, but no evening do - and we are still together nearly 30 years later.

Oh no, not sour grapes! I laugh at my wedding photos because I'm carrying a plastic bag! Each to her own then

You don't have to go. An invitation is not a summons.

I've heard of lots of small weddings that attendees have really enjoyed. My own was small; I really wouldn't have liked a large wedding and we couldn't have afforded it anyway.

My longtime best friend (although we're not friends now), spent £15k on a largeish wedding, hundreds of people and loved the attention. I found it a bit overwhelming myself but different strokes for different folks.

What I found unbearable was knowing that she'd aborted a child just because it was going to ruin the line of her white wedding dress as the baby would have been due around then. Her husband still doesn't know. She already had a child aged six. .

I've digressed from the point I was making, but some people get so caught up on the 'fairytale' that all sense (and sometimes decency) goes out of the window.

HahaDiamond what was in your plastic bag?

It's a celebration?
I've been to lots of weddings, some expensive others less so, but few are flash for the sake of it...most have been utterly wonderful because the people getting married want to share a special day with those that mean a lot to them. I'm sure some people feel pressure to impress (and it's a massive industry - easy to get caught up in it all?), but that's not the norm in my experience.

I don't love going to weddings, as unless you know loads of people, you don't get to see your friend or whoever is getting married, or at least you see them for five seconds when they line up at the reception. I go because it's polite and pleases them, and I have enjoyed weddings where I have lots of friends attend, otherwise YANBU.

How is it showing off?

YABU.

To Durham Durham (sorry, I'm new don't know how to directly answer a question) the plastic bag contained a pair of high heels that I couldn't walk in (heavily pregnant!), I had a pair of hideous red, yes red, trainers on for the wedding pics.

I'm going to one tomorrow (can't get out of it - family obligation). The reception is a half hour drive from the church so they could get it cheap, and the teetotal bride has found somewhere without a bar - they'll have smoothies instead. She's turned into a total bridezilla and I'm dreading it.

Diamond please, please upload a photo

I was still breastfeeding dd2 when I got married so had to change back into my shorts and t-shirt to feed her. Only had my wedding dress on for about 90mins. That was a waste of £40 (white summer dress from M&S)

Smoothies at a wedding....now there's one I would boycott!!

Yanbu to not want to go.

I have only been to two good weddings and I am forty now! Those were weddings where the thought had gone into the guests comfort, so venue and church distance, thought in the table placings, refreshments at decent times, no hanging around in the cold, plenty of entertainment and warm parents who went put of their way to introduce different people and get a nice friendly atmosphere.

I find some of them a bit attention seeking, especially big white dresses on 45 year old bridezillas, who sit in a throne at the top table and whose father cries at losing his daughter. (at 45 and living in the next town).

I really wouldn't have gone to that but it was my male best friends of 22 years' wedding, so wanted to show face but don't get on with the wife so made that the goodbye do, wished them well and moved on....

But yes if you don't like them, don't go and sit there with a cats bumface for the day, just do something else instead.

I disagree that no one will be offended if you don't go, I turned down the invite to my mates wedding initially, and he called up and had a go at me for not being there, apparently not having childcare, or grandparents for a no kids wedding was no excuse!

I am not a big fan of them.
I only had 11 to my wedding.
Luckily all our friends are married now and don't look as if they're going to divorce and do the whole thing again.

YANBU - I have also only been two weddings I enjoyed, and one of them was mine. Ours was probably the cheapest ever - we got a cancellation in the register office because it was the 13th, went on a day trip to france and bought loads of champage and then bought some canapes from Waitrose. My dress came from River Island, a short lacy affair that cost abotu £40 in 1996 and my DSD recetnly wore to a party as vintage and got loads of compliments . We just sat in the garden and drank cheap champagne unitl the last guest left. Asked for no-one to bring presents. A fun day, brilliant party. No kids ban as nothing to break. Probably cost £500 absolute tops. II noe make my excuses when invited - usually have a cop out due to kids not being invited...

Funnily enough I absolutely love watching that Four Weddings program on tv though!

Zorayda- you need a hip flask.

It's really up to the couple themselves how much they want to spend.

Mind you, the banks must love it: leave University £20k in debt, get married and go another 20k in debt, buy an overpriced bit of propery and be a further £200k in debt. Then the banks own you for most of the rest of your life.

I quite like weddings so long as they are fairly formal and relaxed.

Can't bear the bridezilla type weddings where they insist on a very narrow dress code.DH and I have been invited to a wedding soon where the invite insists all guests must wear cocktail dresses and dinner jackets (not anyone I know- one of his work colleagues.)

I will not be going- I am extremely self concious about my weight/ appearance and would not be seen dead in a cocktail dress. I would feel hugely uncomfortable for the whole evening wearing such a garment not to mention spending £100s on something I will never wear again.