to never want to apply for a job?

[FreudianSlipIntoMyLaptop]

Because I'm terrified of the inevitable rejection?

I know, it is pathetic :(

I'm 24 with 2 DCs. Been SAHM as we've just about managed with DH working, and I'm doing an OU degree hoping to be a teacher.

Now though, we've agreed to try both going part time mainly due to DH's health. I really want to work. But I am so scared :(

I've worked before but only through 'connections', and my last employer made me redundant halfway through my first pregnancy because her business folded.

I've never got a job through 'normal' means - I'm always underqualified in terms of experience, or overqualified academically (top A level results in my college) - self esteem in this department is non existent.

Sorry this is all jumbled but I'm on my way to DD's nursery and I'm planning to casually ask about jobs, but I'm so nervous about this tiny first step that I want to cry :(

Help?

YANBU to not want to. But you BU if you didn't.

I think you have to look at it rationally. Yes, you will be rejected, x times out of 10. But it's NOT evidence you are useless, everyone gets rejected x times out of 10. probably because the job goes to someone with connections.

You will have to steel yourself and go for it.

I know what you mean, and have successfully applied for two (been turned down way more!). In fact my job now, i only applied because my dp had a huge go at me because i was putting it off so much.

Its fabulous job, i love it, so glad he made me. I know its hard, you've just got to go for it.

Don't worry about underexperienced - my position was advertised as needing 1 yrs experience in the field, i had none, but I got it because of academic qualifications. Is there someone in rl you could ask for support - to look over cv etc?

If you can do it before your dh goes part time, why not try volunteering somewhere - just that will get you connections and maybe some valuable experience to put on your cv.

Also, look at each interview as steps on your work path - interviews are nerve wracking, so if you don't get the first job you interview for, make sure you can ask for feedback, so you can use the experience to improve your interview skills.

Good luck with the job hunt..

oh, don't worry about rejection, it happens all the time, but not a reflection on you, think of it as a research mission to find out if you like the role rather than being interrogated.
Always think positive and enthusiastic, you can do a lot if you apply yourself and are keen and if you like it at first you will get drawn into it and like it even more.
Good luck, you will be fine!

Best thing to remember is not to take rejection personally. Hard to remember if faced with lots of rejection if you keep going to may end up with a job that's just right for you (or at least helps pay the bills!)

Oh it's horrid, isn't it? You have to think of it as a hit-rate thing: you put in lots of applications/enquiries, you get a response on so-many.

Good luck today at the nursery.

But if you don't get anything there, I wonder if an employment agency might help you build up confidence? Even if you don't get a position through them, a good chat while you register might help you set your expectations realistically and answer niggling anxieties.

The JobCentre should be able to do the same, or put you in touch with somewhere that will. There's a lot of help in daft things like writing a good CV and covering letter, interview etiquette and so on.

Fingers crossed for you!

Thanks. I know I shouldn't take it personally but I do. In most other ways I am quite confident but in the past being turned down for a job has reduced me to a snivelling wreck for days.

I don't think I'm very likeable in an interview setting. I know I'd be fine in a job, it's just getting one that scares me.

Am now looking at the application section of the nursery website and my stomach is churning.

How do people get their first jobs anyway? Seems like you can't do anything without relevant experience.

Fuck. :(

You will get turned down, everybody does. Just use every interview as interview practice. Hone your technique and if you are turned down ask for feedback. The more interviews you go on, the easier it will get.

Good luck!

this happened to me over a year ago.
I had been a SAHM for 2 years and loved it. We were coping financially too but DH started suffering bad with anxiety and was eventually signed off work for 8 weeks. It was while he was on sick that we decided we needed to change the situation for the sake of the family. DH was in a manger role and earning 26k but after speaking to his employer it was decided he would take the role of deputy manager and his pay dropped to 18k. I rang around all the nurseries within a 5 mile radius of my home (about 8 in total) and had 3 interviews after sending my CV. I started work within 2 months and have worked my way up from nursery nurse to room leader to deputy manager in just over 18 months! I love my job and the best thing is DH loves his job and is now able to pick up DD from school 2 nights a week which he could never have done before!

YANBU to be nervous, but I think you might need to start thinking 'out of the box'

You DO have experience... you have two children and have successfully bought them up. Presumably along the way you have met other children, played with them, fed them, looked after them, comforted them, arranged games / playdates / visits etc. You can mention all of these things in your application at the nursery, as well as highlighting the academic qualifications that you have, the fact that you are self motivated (OU) and a bit of information about the transferable skills you learnt in the other jobs you did.

If you get rejected it wasn't the right job. Chin up. Get your highlighter and the local jobs pages out and find some more to apply for.

Good luck!!

Wow bonkerz so did you get that job using only your SAHM experience? That's what I'm hoping for.

I have a distinct lack of references though. I taught piano for five years and I was bloody good at it but that ended because my boss fucked off to Australia without notice. So I have nothing to show for it.

The job I had in pregnancy, well it turned a bit sour at the end, as my boss was only just within the law WRT redundancy etc.

"I taught piano for five years and I was bloody good at it but that ended because my boss fucked off to Australia without notice. So I have nothing to show for it"

Yes you do! You have teaching skills and experience.

ah no i actually had level 3 in childcare. I was lucky that the nursery also have supported me in doing a foundation degree in Early years through the OU.
What level are you studying at through the OU because thats a real positive to employees!

I'm doing a maths degree, am halfway through. Did work at kumon as well as piano, but neither led to any official training/exams (in fact I'm officially only grade 7 piano because I was working for my dipLCM in teaching when said teacher emigrated. Have advertised before for both maths and piano but parents do this because I'm not qualified. Despite the fact I had five years teaching up to grade 8 with 100% pass rate!

I guess if I were to sum up my worries it'd be that people won't believe I can do all this stuff, or think that I'm making it all up

I wish there was a way to get a job without going through the application process. IME it is the most humiliating and demoralising process ever.

What we are talking about here is selling yourself using transferable skills.

Mums are very bad at seeing what they achieve in a workplace perspective.

If they were to advertise your job as a SAHM they would need someone who can

Manage a budget
Have basic first aid akills
Multi-task
Plan
Have excellent time-management skills
Basic IT skills (for MN of course)
Diplomacy
Ability to adapt and explain situationsd to audiences with a variety of levels of understanding

I could go on for pages but you get the general idea. Look at your week and see how you would advertise for those skills - then you know the skills you have and can sell them in a way an employer will understand.

Oh no! I think I've killed another thread - although hopefully you have all gone away to write demon CVs?

freudian

why can't you get grade 8 piano- surely you just need to exam (sorry if im being thick)- no reason not get the qualification now?

going for jobs is crap, but you have to grow a thick skin and when going for interviews, i always decide that i am going along for a chat to see if i want to work there= stops the nerves.

also if you are asked why you want the job the answer is never because i can do the hours

I can never answer that question rising star. Anything I can come up with always sounds so lame.

Am summing up the courage to apply for the job

Lol would love to do grade 8 or diploma but our piano isn't here, would need to afford to get it moved here and then afford lessons as I'm shamefully out of practise :( (would be able to teach littlies though)

You are SO right about SAHMs being unable to value the work we do though.

Volunteering is something I really fancy doing. I am a trained BFing peer supporter and am trying to get going with some at the SureStart centre and listening to reading at the local school. DH is off sick for at least another month (waiting for a surgical procedure) so I need to get my arse in gear and sort it out!

ROFL at all these qualifications-by-stealth, Freudian! Do you have a half-written astrophysics thesis you could dig out of the cupboard and tidy up a bit, too!

Don't know if schools still have pianos, but surely they have keyboards stashed away?.

Volunteer to play for assembly or take class singing lessons or whatever. You'll get practice, and a ready made stream of pupils when you fancy teaching piano again. It won't matter that you don't have grade 8, because the parents won't be picking you out of the phone book - they'll already know you can play and teach.

Hmm I guess I was a bit stealthy... I don't think these things count for much though, not when you're applying to work in banks or whatever.

Anyway... Am going to start sorting out volunteering stuff tomorrow.