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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not always like my friends' children?

38 replies

OTheHugeManatee · 14/01/2011 14:04

I'm sort of embarrassed by this.

I don't have kids yet (though am planning to). Quite a few of my friends do. I feel sometimes as though I'm automatically meant to find their kids charming and engaging, and to play with them as much as I do engage with their parents.

Some of my friends' DCs are really lovely, adorable people who I instinctively like and look forward to spending time with. But I have one friend whose DD I have tried hard to like but have just always found really, really irritating.

I worry a bit that this makes me somehow an evil person, but I've come to the conclusion that while I adore her mother, I just don't like this person. The fact that she's only small is neither here nor there.

AIBU?

OP posts:
WimpleOfTheBallet · 14/01/2011 14:06

YANBU I have 2 DDs but a number of my friends have none and are not remotely interested in kids...it doesn't bother me and he kids soon learn that not all grown up play with them.

scurryfunge · 14/01/2011 14:08

Other people's children do tend to be irritating anyway, so I wouldn't worry Grin.

Sarsaparilllla · 14/01/2011 14:08

I'm in the same kind of position! Some of my friends kids I like, some, not so much, I can't help it, some of them do just irritate me. Blush

I choose to spend time with my friends, not necesarily their kids, I wouldn't be rude, but I don't feel I have so play with them if I don't want to.

mistresspollocky · 14/01/2011 14:09

YANBU - just make sure you hide it well; from your friend and especially her DD! She'll probably change lots as she grows up

mistresspollocky · 14/01/2011 14:10

Great name, by the way, OP Grin

wukter · 14/01/2011 14:11

YANBU but you would be to show it!

OTheHugeManatee · 14/01/2011 14:11

I thought I'd get flamed for confessing to that.

Really, truly, I usually like my friends' kids. But this one I just don't. Blush

OP posts:
COCKadoodledooo · 14/01/2011 14:11

Oh God no! I'm friends with my friends, not their DCs.

KERALA1 · 14/01/2011 14:12

YANBU - it gets worse when you have kids and they have friends. Most I genuinely like but some....less so and you have entertain and feed them eek.

StewieGriffinsMom · 14/01/2011 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JBellingham · 14/01/2011 14:13

nothing wrong with disliking adults or children. If you don't like them avoid them. Some kids are awful as are some parents. If they get on your wick stay out of their way, less hassle than saying 'god your sprog is a pain'.

wukter · 14/01/2011 14:13

Manatee - there's plenty of time to get flamed - don't wipe your forehead yet Grin

bluejeans · 14/01/2011 14:13

YANBU

Same goes for friends' DHs!

itsonlyricemichael · 14/01/2011 14:15

god don't worry about it - hell is other peoples children! I am not keen on children en masse though particular children I do like very much - they are just like people in that respect Wink

I love my own but don't expect other people too but obv wouldn't want to hear about if they didn't iyswim.

wukter · 14/01/2011 14:15

As an aside, what does your name mean? I've seen people compliment you on it, like mistresspollocky above, and I feel a bit thick that I don't get it.

Pixieonthemoor · 14/01/2011 14:15

Totally not unreasonable at all! They are just people, after all - some you like and some you dont. Just to give you a little hope, there is a child I know who was, quite frankly, fairly well known for being hideous and she has now matured a bit and is getting to be quite charming. It will change but dont feel bad about it!

OTheHugeManatee · 14/01/2011 14:16

Bellingham I'd never say that. I just feel really Cruella De Ville-ish when my friend has people over for lunch, everyone is making a fuss of AnnoyingDD and I just want her to p* off so I can chat to her mother.

Blush Blush Blush

OP posts:
SenoritaViva · 14/01/2011 14:17

Delighted to see your post as I thought I was a freak of nature and felt terrible for not liking a few of the children I know.

In the same vein though, I truly do not expect everyone to like my DD, even if they are my friends. I definitely don't like all of DD's friends but try my hardest not to let it show. The worst bit though is when their irritating habits are copied by your child!

So, either we're all freaks on this post or we all sometimes lie like crazy about other people's children.

KurriKurri · 14/01/2011 14:17

Yanbu to dislike someone, whether child or adult, but little children can sometimes come across as irritating because perhaps they are a bit immature for their age, they haven't quite grasped all the do ands don't of interacting with others yet, they haven't had enough contact with other children to learn give and take etc.

And children do change - a few months can be a very long time at this age - so I'm just saying don't write her off - she may well blossom into a lovely little girl Smile

MoonGirl1981 · 14/01/2011 14:18

I cannot stand one of my closest friend's child.

NAUGHTY NAUGTHY NAUGHTY
SPOLIT SPOILT SPOILT
RUDE RUDE RUDE

Arrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!

Seriously, I can't be around him. He does nothing he's asked/told. If he's told not to do something he'll do it more!

My friend just sits there and says;' Yeah, he's a little shit.'

Er? Do something about it?

Chil1234 · 14/01/2011 14:19

YANBU. You can't like everyone, regardless of their age. And just remember, if/when you have some children, that not everyone will be as enamoured of them as you are. Then you won't go far wrong. :)

TrillianAstra · 14/01/2011 14:20

I don't like all people.

There is no reason why I owuld like osmeone more if they are aged under 18.

So therefore there is no resaon to expect that I would like all children.

Simple logic.

But then I am a bitch.

OTheHugeManatee · 14/01/2011 14:20

Wukter It's a geek joke. 'Oh the humanity!' is what Herbert Morrison said when he saw the Hindenburg catch fire. So there is a photoshopp'd version of the Hindenburg crash photo doing the rounds on the web, with the airship replaced by a huge manatee.

It's not as funny when you explain it.

OP posts:
mamaloco · 14/01/2011 14:20

Do you like every adults you meet? No
Why on earth would you like every kids you meet is beyond me? They are persons with a set character, which is going to evolve but is still basically there. Some are really irritating. Some time there is a reason (attention seeking because they feel let down by their parents is one example Sad)
Don't show it. I think you should show that their behavior is not appropriate if that is the source of the irritation though IYSWIM.
I have kids and sometime I think their behavior would be irritating to other people Wink even if they are usually cute, nice and well behaved.

Gogopops · 14/01/2011 14:20

Agree with you. It's even worse when they're related and you have to spend holidays with them!

Grrr - I sometimes get very irritated by my nephews and just have to try to smile politely as they bicker and argue with my two perfect DC's!!
Wink

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