To hate the Stigma of being a stay at home dad.

[DeliciousPasty]

My wife earns more than me, so it makes sense that she keeps here high profile job, while I watch the kids.
I get so much stick for this, it really is hard being the only dad at the library group or play centre and people think theres somethign wrong with you, or that you're lazy for not being the one going to work and letting mummy stay at home, or think we're not as good at looking after toddlers, when we're ussually just as good or even better than mums, with advantages such as strength and stamina for house work and sharper critical thinking.
AIBU to think they should just leave me to it?

I have noticed this word "fricking" creeping into MN. I don't like it.

Sometimes I wee in the bath.

My husband hoovered the living room this morning; how I admired the superior strength and stamina that enable him to do this once every six months.

LadyBlahBlah - better than f*cking, surely?

Sharper critical thinking and stamina!!!

No man flu in your house then?

Wow! I wish DH would use his 'strength and stamina' to pick up his socks once in a while...

You are right, in principle, that there should be no stigma attached to being a SAHD.

However, I imagine there'll be mums 'leaving you to it', as you say, because you sound like a bit of a twat...

Sorry folks, that was my wife, she must be jealous of my sharper critical thinking and endurance... XD

It sounds hairy trucker to me, sorry Pascoe.

I don't know if the OP's a wind-up merchant or just a bit obtuse about his delivery, but I did recently have an interesting discussion with DP about maternity leave. I mentioned that, as the law now stands, and with our salaries being almost identical, there's no reason he shouldn't take a portion of the 33 weeks as paternity leave on SMP with me back at work (wouldn't make any difference financially, and would give him some special time with the baby and DD). He really likes the idea, but is too afraid of what his colleagues will think - although on paper his company does everything it can to promote equality, on the ground floor there just isn't that same idea amongst 'the boys'. That made me quite sad.

"Men just don't seem to cry about things as much" - does your wife sob regularly then? How has she managed to hold down a better paid job than you with all that sobbing interfering with her working day and with your superior strength, stamina and critical thinking?

I don't find raising childrne particularly "high pressured" I think you must be doing it worng, cut down on the powerpoint presentations it will releive some of your pressure (Now if you'd said "high blood pressure inducing" I'd have whole heartedly agreed).

But all of that aside yes others should refrain from commenting about you and your partners parenting choices.

Lol.

I was with you, OP, until I read your comments re sharper critical thinking, stamina and ability to cope with pressure.

This is a Friday joke, yes?

Oh I hope you do it LisasCat. DH would have loved to do it, but he earns three times more than me so not financially viable. It would be such a special time for him and baby....

lo, you daft berk.

I can't imagine your critical thinking faculties are that sharp, otherwise you would have had the nous to get a job which earned as much as your wife.

Now go and mop the kitchen.

Men just don't seem to cry about things as much (maybe something in our evolution?)

i would answer this bit but i can't see for tears

of laughter of course!!

LisasCat, if it became legislation (to divide parental leave as you choose) then there would be no stigma. Already most dads take their paternity leave of two weeks, only a few years ago that was unthinkable (my husband was the first in his dep't to take it).

OP, why am I not surprised the mums give you a wide berth?

And, I'm still waiting for concrete examples of all this 'stick' you get and why you are the only man in your area doing childcare...

Are we sure this thread hasn't actually been started by Pasty's DW as an evil prank?

Are you sure it's 'stick' you're getting and not that they just think you're a twat

DeliciousPasty you are thinking about it incorrectly. As long as you think of your wife as doing a high power job and you as "watching the kids" then everyone will write you off. My dh has what most would describe as a high powr job but, if asked, when I was a SAHM (am now a WAHM) I'd have said something like "dh just gets to go to work each day whilst I'm bringing up our children".

pmsl

'as strength and stamina for house work and sharper critical thinking.'

'it's just in high pressure situations (which are often when raising the kids, am I right?) they tend to hold it together better, it's not meant to be an insult, Men just don't seem to cry about things as much (maybe something in our evolution?)'

If this is true then my man must be broken? Does anyone a good repair shop or should I just get a refund?

I won't say good on you for you looking after your own hildren btw. It's no different from a woman doing it. It strikes me that you think a) you are better than SAHM and b) you seem to think people should make a song and dance about you caring for your children while your wife works.

I have never encountered anyone critising SAHD. SAHM's otoh, I have heard being criticised a lot, especialy once the children have started school.

I think most SAHD's are seen as hero's and well received by Mummies. My friends Dh did it when he was made redundant and I worshipped him was in awe of him.

I think you're funny

I don't give a toss about the whole men vs women argument. But I think you're funny (and so is your wife).