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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Not Take DS to Baby Groups Because Of Swine Flu Worries?

34 replies

OverDramaticOldQueen · 13/01/2011 23:17

I know I am and you will all tell me this Grin.

He is 6 months old and is my 4th so not a PFB. Was never worried about my other DCs picking up bugs from other DCs when they were younger in fact it was actively encouraged to build up their immunity, but with all stuff in the papers about under 5's being most at risk at developing complications, I am a bit anxious.

Of course my older DCs could bring it home from school but that is unavoidable.

DH actually agrees with me on this one Hmm and says that I should not bother taking him to groups until the summer when he's moving around more. He's hardly going to miss out is he and his immune system is still immature so why subject him to germs when I don't need to?

OP posts:
Original poster
OverDramaticOldQueen · 13/01/2011 23:19

I am quite busy anyway so am not bothered myself and find it hard to fit them in, but I feel guilty not taking him out to make some little friends!

OP posts:
WimpleOfTheBallet · 13/01/2011 23:20

Well I'm not taking my 2 year old ANYWHERE she doesn't have to go if it's full of kids...so not in my opinion you're not being unreasonable at all!

My DD is not a pfb either...she's number 2.I am not taking her to toddler group and when I can I don't take her to pick up DD from school either. The other kids all grab her and kiss her...

aPixieInMyCaramelLatte · 13/01/2011 23:24

Ah do what you think is right.

He's only 6months plenty of time to make little friends.

I'm taking my 4month old to a group tomorrow but the group is for my 21month old toddler and I have to take the baby. I'm building up his immune system is my thinking.

A1980 · 13/01/2011 23:26

YANBU

He's your baby and do what you feel is best for him.

Original poster
OverDramaticOldQueen · 13/01/2011 23:39

Glad to see I'm not alone Wimple.

Thanks all.

OP posts:
KittyFoyle · 13/01/2011 23:40

I wouldn't but only because baby groups made me lose the will to live.

RavenHairedPrincess · 14/01/2011 01:42

Can he not have the swine flu jab?
Would be easier then entertaining a 6mth old within the same 4 walls day in day out.

lillibet1 · 14/01/2011 17:48

I'm taking my 8 week old if he catches it he catches it are we going to never go out never see any one and ban the Dh from the house in case he pick something up at work.

Mummy2Bookie · 14/01/2011 18:05

YANBU
Dd is 12 months. We don't go to baby group. Dd is happy playing at home. I don't want her catching swine flu. We have been very lucky, she has not been ill yet.

mumtoabeautifulbabyboy · 14/01/2011 19:16

YANBU or maybe you are but I would be too!
My 16 month old goes to nursery twice a week as I work part time. We gave him the flu jab (only £15) as I was so worried(I know, I know, probably completely pfb of me!). I feel so much better now.
They can have the jab from 6months and the clinic where we took him said they had been completely samped with under 5s whos GPs had run out.

Do whatever you feel is right x

saintknickerless · 14/01/2011 19:17

YANBU. I was pregnant and had a 2 year old during the last outbreak and I steered clear of toddler groups until we were vaccinated. It was on the NHS website that you should avoid crowded places if it wasn't necessary if you were in an at risk group so I don't think you're being OTT.

tholeon · 14/01/2011 19:22

I'm staying in a lot with my 19 month year old. He was very ill (in intensive care) as a small baby and it has made me very phobic about germs. He has had a jab but I know it is only about 70 - 80% effective and although he is still more vulnerable than your average child I've been told he really should be ok with most things - but swine flu could knock anyone out..

Hard work knowing what to do with a toddler all day in this weather though while avoiding other toddlers... ideas welcome if anyone has any!

Balletrose · 14/01/2011 19:56

tholeon... this is a time not to feel guilty about having the TV on all the time more than usual! Other than that I recommend lots and lots and lots of Duplo Smile

aPixieInMyCaramelLatte · 14/01/2011 20:06

lillibet looks like we're the only one's that are carrying on with our lives instead of locking ourselves away.

Like I said it's your choice to take him out or not but tbh if he's gonna catch it, he will catch it. Unless you never go to the shop, make your dp/dh stay home from work and never go out either, never let the postman near you etc see where I'm going with this? Grin

DilysPrice · 14/01/2011 20:22

YABU insofaras with 3 older sibs bringing germs home from school the odd baby group is neither here nor there in terms of risk.
But YANBU because baby groups are much more for the mums than the babies - and presumably you're quite busy and experienced enough not to need the company or friends, so if you don't fancy it and feel that skipping it saves you a tiny risk then of course you needn't go.

DilysPrice · 14/01/2011 20:25

Whereabouts do you live tholeon? I'm sure someone could give you local suggestions (Tate Britain is good for London toddlers, with very limited germ exposure).

saintknickerless · 14/01/2011 20:54

aPixieInMyCaramelLatte

It's about reducing risk. You have to go to the shop and go to work. You don't have to go to toddler groups.
I still went on playdates with DD during the last outbreak. I figured meeting up with one friend was less of a risk than going to a toddler group with 20 kids plus parents all in one room where the kids are gumming the toys and stuff.

Firawla · 14/01/2011 20:56

I don't see how the risk would be any more really as you could just as easily catch it in the supermarket, dc bring it back from school etc, but up to you if you're not bothered about going anyway then its not compulsory, but if you felt others were being irresponsible to take their dc to baby and toddlers groups then ywbu, if its just your own personal preference then yanbu its your choice

hidegoseek · 14/01/2011 21:17

Your baby so your decision, whatever you decide you are not being unreasonable.

However I am carrying on as normal with DD and attending groups, just making sure that I am following the hygeine (sp!) recommendations.

This outbreak could go on for a number of months and avoiding all social interaction would drive both DD and I mad.

It's all about risk in my mind and the risk of catching swine flu at the supermarket is the same a toddler group in my mind - if there is an obviously ill child when you arrive at the group then leave.

toeragsnotriches · 14/01/2011 21:23

YANBU. We're carrying on with the stuff essential to child and family sanity (school, nursery, swimming etc) but generally avoiding large public stuff. Would usually take them to some sort of soft play or indoor activity on a cold wet weekend like the one forecast but have been and will be avoiding this til it settles down.

aPixieInMyCaramelLatte · 14/01/2011 21:24

Ah saint maybe that's why I feel ok about going to toddler group, because it's one class, for one hour a week and no more than 8 kids there. (baby signing classes)

If I was a regular at a BIG toddler group where there was loads of kids, I might feel the same way as the op about taking my 4month old there, not so much the 21month old I don't think. But then I wouldn't go to a group like that anyway as it would drive me mad. Grin

GandTiceandaslice · 14/01/2011 21:44

I've decided to avoid them with my DC. He's my 3rd child so I know all about exposure to illness etc.
But I really don't want him to get swine flu if I can possibly avoid it.
Of course my older 2 could bring it home from school...

tholeon · 14/01/2011 22:21

aww thanks ladies for the suggestions! Am in Surrey, near Kingston..

Glad I'm not the only one avoiding stuff.

backwardpossom · 14/01/2011 22:26

I think YABU to be honest. Sure it's your baby and it's up to you... but by the logic in the OP, you shouldn't be allowing any of your other kids or DH to leave the house either in case they pick up some nasty bug and bring it home for DS to get, too?

I just avoid the groups because they're shit. Grin

DilysPrice · 14/01/2011 22:27

A toddler that age will probably think a trip down the road in his wellie boots and raincoat splashing in all the puddles is a Very Special Treat actually.