not to let dh have a shower in the en suite at 3.30am today?

[StayingDavidTennantsGirl]

He had to get a very early train today, in order to get down to London for a meeting, and had to get up at 3.30am, to drive into Glasgow in time for the train.

He wanted to have a shower in our en suite when he got up, but it has a very loud pump that drives it, and whilst it usually doesn't disturb me too much, I'm pretty sure it would wake me up if he ran it in the middle of the night.

I had to get up at 6am today, because the roads and particularly the paths round here are still very icy in places, so it isn't safe for the boys to cycle their paper rounds, so one of us has to drive them to the paper shop to collect their papers, drop them to the start of their rounds, and pick up ds1 and ds3 at the end of theirs, so they have time to get showered, breakfasted and dressed in time for school.

As I was going to be up so early, was I unreasonable to ask dh to use the main bathroom for his shower (the shower in there is adequate, but isn't as good as the one in the en suite) so as not to wake me up?

Of course you were not being unreasonable, perfectly valid request.

YANBU at all

You sound perfectly reasonable.

I would have been disappointed to have to even discuss this tbh. DH gets up almost 2 hours before me but makes sure he is prepared so that he doesn't disturb me.

If you didn't have to get up for the DCs then it would have been irritating but ok.

Thankyou everone. I got grumpy face from dh last night when I said I wasn't happy for him to use the ensuite, and asked him to use the main bathroom. He genuinely thought I was being unreasonable.

Well it was 3 in the morning, love...

Well if you were a good little wifey you would have got up with him, made bacon and eggs and handed him a packed lunch and and some reading material for the journey.

What is the world coming too :o

As the en-suite isn't the only shower available to him, then YANBU at all!

No, Betty - he got grumpy face when we discussed this at teatime yesterday. I would absolutely have understood grumpy face at 3am!!

Alouiseg - he would so love me to be the sort of wife you describe - but knows that there is very little likelihood of this ever happening. I am truly ashamed of myself and will write out 100 times, 'My husband works hard to be the breadwinner and my place is in the kitchen!'

YANBU! :)

I'm surprised he even thought about using the en suite at that time

If it had been me I would have automatically used the other shower.

YANBU

Pretty selfish to use any shower in the middle of the night if family sleeping. He could either have a shower in the evening before going to bed or not shower! Sounds like he really considers himself more important than you or the children.

yanbu
no question about it
you haven't forced him to was in the sink in your cold kitchen :)

My dh does this without being asked! Takes all his things that he needs in the am out of our room and puts in the other bathroom so he doesn't disturb me. Its called being considerate!

Our shower wakes everyone up. On the days DH works he has a shower in the evening, then leaves his clothes in the lounge so he can get dressed there without putting any lights on upstairs which would disturb me. He goes out at 5am.

On the days I work, and DH doesn't, I have a shower the night before and wash my hair in the sink in the morning. I go out at 6am.

Would love to have another bathroom we could both use in the morning which didn't disturb anyone.

Why could your DH not have a shower the night before and then a quick wash in the morning?

YANBU

Gosh! Dh knows he has to use the shower room downstairs whenever he showers before the children wake up!! About 80 per cent of the time!
The pump wakes them and if they're awake, I'm awake!