Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect parents to pay for themeselves at a childs party

26 replies

startofnewterm · 12/01/2011 21:01

I had a party last week for my ds at at rollerskating place. I paid entry and skate hire for all the children and also for food and drinks.

However, the rink told me in advance that there is a £2 charge for spectators (this is apparantly due to safety regulations allowing only a certain number of people into the building and if too many spectators then they are losing money on the amount of skaters they can allow. Fair enough.

There were about 15 children at the party and I put a small note in with the invite saying that I had a few helpers with me to hold hands with the ones who had never skated before but if the parents wished to stay and skate then the charge would be £7.50 to skate or £2 to spectate.

The parents paid the money but I overheard two of the mums saying that they think its a bit cheeky to have to pay £2 to spectate at a party that their child was invited to and that if it was them they would have just paid it as it could only be an extra £20ish. Bearing in mind that some kids come along with both mum and dad I think its unreasonable to expect me to pay for them to watch. Am I wrong?

Honest responses welcomed.

OP posts:
magnolia74 · 12/01/2011 21:03

Nope not wrong at all, if you put a note in they had the option of leaving their child or spectating!

Presuming as its ice skating we're not talking under 5's? Grin

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 12/01/2011 21:04

How old are the children?

Original poster
startofnewterm · 12/01/2011 21:05

they are 8

OP posts:
KatieG73 · 12/01/2011 21:05

We've done similar parties ( Cinema, Tubing, Sledging etc) and have always paid for the parents to attend if they wanted to.
We have always budgeted ahead for this though.

I don't think you are being unreasonable though - if DD was at a party and we were asked to pay to spectate I would happily.

StewieGriffinsMom · 12/01/2011 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Herecomesthesciencebint · 12/01/2011 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scurryfunge · 12/01/2011 21:08

It is fair enough and you gave them prior warning.

I do find it a little strange that the venue charges for spectators though as they would probably be buying coffees, etc.

dixiechick1975 · 12/01/2011 21:10

My first thought is YANBU and very thoughtful for providing a note explaining.

But did they stay due to it being a distance away i.e no time to get home and back. If they had no option but to stay then I think I would have paid the spectator fees.

magnolia74 · 12/01/2011 21:11

Our local ice rink charges for spectators too, but only if you want to sit in the actual rink area. Most places have a cafe type place to sit for free

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 12/01/2011 21:12

I think it's completely fair enough. They didn't need to be there so if they wanted to stay it was right that they paid.
It is off though that they charge spectators.

Original poster
startofnewterm · 12/01/2011 21:13

No, distance is not a problem. Everyone who came lived within 3-5 miles of the rink. I dont think that should be a problem, and the party was for 2.5 hrs.

OP posts:
taintedpaint · 12/01/2011 21:13

Seeing as they were not obligated to stay, YANBU. You gave them prior warning of the charge and you didn't make it impossible for them to leave. I can't see that they have an argument.

Pack mentality is my guess, some parents in groups just have to bitch, it's quite bizarre.

2muchtodo2littletime · 12/01/2011 21:15

There is a soft play place near me that lets the first 10 adults with a party in for free. Any other parents have to pay £2 and it is redeemable against drinks. I wouldnt pay for drinks for all the parents. YANBU You gave parents notice that they had to pay

PuppyMonkey · 12/01/2011 21:17

I think the ice rink was being unreasonable for not waiving the charge when you'd brought a party of 15 in. Thieving rob dogs. Could they not have thrown a couple of spectator tickets in as a goodwill gesture?

macdoodle · 12/01/2011 21:19

Dear god, at 8, I would have dropped and run, lovely 2 and a half hours of freedom Grin. Why on earth did they stay, very precious, and then to moan about paying, they should have just gone then!

Original poster
startofnewterm · 12/01/2011 21:19

Puppy I agree. I did ask if they could let some in for free then I could split the cost between all of them and maybe get it down to £1 but they dont do that.

They did make it clear to me when I booked though so they havent actually done anything wrong, I knew the charge and I still booked the party.

OP posts:
Original poster
startofnewterm · 12/01/2011 21:21

macdoodle, thats what I would have done. But I do understand that some parents are concerned about accidents with children who hadnt done it before.

I have to learn that you can never please everyone at parties so you should just please the birthday child Grin

OP posts:
welshbyrd · 12/01/2011 21:23

Id have been happy paying the £2, especially as invitation had pre-warned all parents

looblylu · 12/01/2011 21:25

It would be unreasonable to expect them to pay if there was no option but to stay but anybody to tight to cough up £2 could have just left and collected their children at the end of the party.

£2 isnt exactly going to break the bank is it?

Portofino · 12/01/2011 21:32

Lord. Dd is 7 is a couple of months, and as they are all getting a bit big for soft play, I was thinking of the ice rink......the parents just don;t stay here though. I guess if they had an objection to the activity, they would refuse the invitation. YANBU!

maryz · 12/01/2011 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CupcakesHay · 12/01/2011 21:45

Wow - really some mums complained... that's awful IMO. YANBU. Especially cos you warned them in advance. And why didn't they take the opportunity to leave their kids there and go shopping.

TheMonster · 12/01/2011 21:47

YANBU. I would have jumped at the opportunity to leave my child in the care of someone else!!!

Sazisi · 12/01/2011 21:49

YANBU.
They sound really rude and ungracious, especially to complain within earshot Hmm

clam · 12/01/2011 22:03

So, they object to paying £2 each to spectate, but think you should have stumped up an additional £20 for all of them! Cheek.

YANBU. Scrub their DCs off next year's invite list, for a start.