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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To leave the doctors in tears? (GP's opinions gratefully received...)

54 replies

AuntieMaggie · 12/01/2011 13:04

Ok, so I went to the doctors today for a bad shoulder/neck. I didn't see my usual doctor as they weren't available, so even though I've got a complicated and long medical history I thought this would be ok.

However, the locum doctor decided after we had discussed my shoulder/neck that we would talk about my being overweight and being on the pill, despite the fact that I had already had this discussion with my usual doctor before xmas (which he knew as he kept saying 'I know you discussed this with X when you saw them...') and insisted on showing me the criteria for whether or not someone is prescribed the pill and that I'm in the last category which shouldn't be prescribed it.

I tried to explain to him that I am on the pill because I have polycyctic ovaries, and that the decision for me to go on it was made between myself, my gynae, another specialist, and my normal doctor to manage the fact that when I ovulate the cysts on my ovaries grow to 5cm and I cannot walk because of the pain, which can last upto 2 weeks. However he kept saying 'I'm telling you this because I sometimes work in family planning' and 'if you walk out the door and something happens to you it will be my responsibility'.

I regularly see the nurse at the surgery for weightloss and have lost over 2 stone, albeit slowly, and am seeing her again tomorrow (which I told him and he still carried on and weighed me so I was also upset that I'd put on half a stone over xmas despite hardly any indulgence).

So he carried on this vein, making me feel like an idiot, with me getting more tearful and when I left I burst into tears in the waiting room and the receptionist was so worried that she whisked me off into a side room.

I should probably mention that I am also on ADs for anxiety mainly concerning my health.

So what do you think? Did I overreact?

Because I'm torn between thinking he was only doing his job and thinking he should have picked up on how I was reacting to what he was saying and actually listened to me.

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 12/01/2011 13:08

YANBU. It is infuriating when you meet someone like this, doctor, dentist, dogtrainer. You didn't over react, nor should you be ashamed of crying.
Hopefully he sorted out your shoulder pain.

JamieLeeCurtis · 12/01/2011 13:08

No, it does not sound like you over-reacted. It sounds (to me) like he was ploughing on an inflexible manner about something which it was clear:

a) was being tackled by you and other professionals
b) you were getting upset

sounds like his communication skills leave a lot to be desired. He sounds young/inexperienced to me, or has a bee in his bonnet

(not a GP but used to be a health-care professional)

chitchatinsantasear · 12/01/2011 13:09

FFS, YANBU at all! He was a locum, and it wasn't any of his damn business!!! You had already discussed it with your normal GP. He was correct in raising it, but he should then have dropped it when you explained why you were on the pill and who was involved in the decision. The locum was a dickhead, and I hope the receptionist reports it to the practice manager. In fact, I hope YOU report him to the practice manager.

bestdaysofmylife · 12/01/2011 13:10

YANBU. The doctor should have listened to you and also picked up on your emotional state. Although the locum might have had your interests at heart, they didn't approach this correctly. It's horrid to be made to feel bad like that, but don't take it personally. Unfortunately doctors are only human too and some of them just aren't that great with people.

JamieLeeCurtis · 12/01/2011 13:10

... just to say - despite me having worked in the health service for many years, and being pretty assertive, I know that an insensitive HCP wields a lot of power and can make you feel crap in certain circumstances

TattyDevine · 12/01/2011 13:11

I would have refused to discuss it with him if it wasn't something I was there to discuss. This is not helpful, but might be in the future - you dont actually have to get on the scales, continue a discussion, or agree to any treatment. You weren't going there for a script for the pill, therefore he can't really do anything about that.

I know that's no help, but people so often end up going along with things in GP surgeries that they really dont have to do.

Did he help you about your neck, or go off on a tangent leaving you no better off?

Pepa · 12/01/2011 13:12

YANBU - In my experience so many doctors still do not know how to LISTEN they have already made up their mind what the issue is 2 seconds into the consult and then they refuse to be derailed from this agenda.

I would personally let my own doctor know about this incident, not to get the locum in trouble but to provide valuable feedback for professional development.

pinkypanther · 12/01/2011 13:13

Sorry but I think YABU.

I work in the area and doctors are often criticised for not having taken steps to correct possible issues they see with a patient's medication.

If you are very overweight, then as a matter of fact you are more likely to suffer problems with the pill (clots etc) and it sounds like he was trying to make you aware of this.

It doesn't sound like his bedside manner was great though - hope you are feeling ok now.

skyswept · 12/01/2011 13:16

YANBU

If the pill is for polycystic ovaries he should understand. It is really upsetting when doctors contradict each other and make you feel like it is your fault. I say now " I am not a doctor so I haven't the knowledge or power to make these decisions but I am a patient and stick to what has be prescribed me as it is supposed to for my good." This is after years of conflicting advice. Always listen though.

PatPending · 12/01/2011 13:18

But pinkypanther the OP's consultant and other specialist made the decision to put her on the pill.
I doubt they would be too impressed with a locum questioning their decisions.

Sounds to me like your locum was being too "eager and earnest" and it all backfired OP.

He should have picked up you were upset - hope you feel better now.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 12/01/2011 13:18

But she told him it was under observation by her regular HCPs, that should have been the end of it.

JamieLeeCurtis · 12/01/2011 13:18

You make a good point skyswept - basically, it sounds like this was an issue he should have been discussing with the regular doctor. It seems he was disagreeing with what had been already decided.

Original poster

AuntieMaggie · 12/01/2011 13:19

I agree that he probably was only trying to make me aware of the risks - but did he really need to when there were comprehensive notes from my usual doctor on the screen, which he said he had read before I'd got there and got the criteria document ready for me before I even got there, saying that she had talked to me about my weight and so on?

Yes he did help with my shoulder before he started on this!

OP posts:

FrequentNutter · 12/01/2011 13:20

I think he is worried about you. Whilst we may not like what we hear in the doctors sometimes we have to hear it.

Have they offered you any medication at all to help with your weight loss?

narkypuffin · 12/01/2011 13:20

I know what you mean Pinkypanther, but if she's already losing weight and being monitored by the nurse, he really had no business being so pushy and weighing her. Taking her blood pressure and confirming that she's aware of the risks is one thing, that would completely fulfill his duty of care. Acting in the way he did, particularly to a patient who's on ADs for health anxiety is bloody ridiculous.

JamieLeeCurtis · 12/01/2011 13:21

bee in bonnet and not listening

PaisleyLeaf · 12/01/2011 13:24

I'm torn.
He sounds thorough and with your interests at heart. He'd maybe seen other patients who have your usual GP and thought they're also not receiving good enough care advice too.
And there will be some truth in the fact "'if you walk out the door and something happens to you it will be my responsibility"

But, like you say, you're regularly seeing your own GP and nurse.

cantspel · 12/01/2011 13:28

why should he not mention your weight?

PCOS symtoms can often improve and even disappear altogether if you can get rid of the extra weight.

I know it is hard with PCOS to loss the weight but he was only trying to help.

Original poster

AuntieMaggie · 12/01/2011 13:28

Thank you I am feeling better :) just hope I don't cry all over the nurse again tomorrow!

OP posts:

MadamDeathstare · 12/01/2011 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieLeeCurtis · 12/01/2011 13:31

cantspel - she knows that and is tackling her weight (as it says in the OP)

Glad you are feeling better AuntieMaggie

narkypuffin · 12/01/2011 13:32

Have you actually read the thread Cantspel?

Original poster

AuntieMaggie · 12/01/2011 13:34

It's not him mentioning my weight that was the issue, it was the way it was done and the fact that I was in there for ages being told x y and z.

I know polycyctic ovaries can be improved with weightloss, and I've been going to SW to try and lose the weight but it is hard when every pill free week you can put on almost 5lbs.

Also, I have to watch my carb intake as polycyctic ovaries plays havoc with your insulin levels and carbs don't get processed properly, so your brain tells you you're still hungry and you have hunger pains as though you haven't eaten all day even though you have!

OP posts:

TallyB · 12/01/2011 13:36

I don't think you are being unreasonable. Your weight and health problems are being dealt with by your usual doctor and various specialists who are all familiar with your medical history, so it was rather arrogant of him to assume he knows better.

pinkypanther · 12/01/2011 13:36

I have PCOS too, and it is a nightmare, so I fully sympathise. I probably would have cried too!

But, I still think that, although the Dr went about it in entirely the wrong way, his motivation was probably correct. Health professionals (even specialists) can and do make mistakes and it would be wrong for them all just to go along with each other without rethinking the issue. That is why I guess he felt he had to warn you.

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