DP is self employed, earns very little money (less than 10,000 last year) He is also very lax with his accounts so we are never really sure what is going on. We have a 11mo dd who was unplanned. I can see looking back that i was quite naive when i was pregnant as i expected him to shape up and get a better job when dd was born. For his work we need to live in an expensive city. My maternity leave has just finished so i have no money coming in. The nature of his work means he is away quite alot so i can't really get a job.
We don't have a good realtionship, he is quite self involved and has a tendancy to be very grumpy. When i try to talk to him about our relationship or his career he just clams up, just stares into space and says nothing. I find this very frustrating and hard to deal with. I feel very unloved and unhappy. I feel like every day i get a bit more down and unenthusiastic about life.
He seems to have a sense of entitlement that means he can persue the career he does, even though it is never going to make him much money. He comes from a well off family and doesn't seem to see the value of money. He won't help me come up with any kind of joint finances plan, so basically my bank acccount is getting smaller and smaller while his stays the same.
He loves DD to bits but i can't see how we can carry on like this living in an expensive place with so little money coming in. I want to get a better education so i can get a better paid job in a few years time. ATM that would to be impossible.
AIBU to want him to see that we cant carry on like this? Something has to give, every day i just feel more and more desperate to get out, take dd with me and make a life for us that isn't filled with worry and arguments. I still want DP to be a part of DD's life but realistically i thnk i would have to move back to my hometown which would mean that he would probablly see her a few times a month (for a 3-4 days at a time).
I don't want to split up our family but i don't know what else to do.