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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Letting DS have day off school

12 replies

IckleJess · 12/01/2011 09:30

DS will be 15 next month, in Yr 10. He has been up most of the night coughing and I think has strained his stomach with the coughing as he says it hurts when he coughs.

He has asked to stay at home today and I agreed but DH went off on one about how he'll be out at work in 18 months time and you can't have a day off work just because you've got a cough.

I agree but the fact is, he is not at work, he is at school. I can clearly remember having a bad cough at school once and being mortified in quiet lessons/assemblies etc when everyone is staring at you/tutting because you keep coughing. Added to that he has had little sleep and I don't think IBU. He's not particularly academic so won't miss a lot educationally and this is his first day off since the start of the school year in September.

DH has been digging away at DS all morning, making comments about how little he is coughing etc and generally being an arse to me because I am too soft apparently. Incidently, DH was only around this morning to offer his opinion because he has an appt near home today, normally he's out of the house by 6 and has no input in my decisions :o

OP posts:

narkypuffin · 12/01/2011 09:35

Let him sleep.

mutznutz · 12/01/2011 09:35

What's his attendance like normally?

HSMM · 12/01/2011 09:37

Maybe let him sleep this morning and see if he wants to go in this afternoon. If it's his first day off this year, the school won't be too worried. The only problem with Secondary School is finding out what happened in the lessons while you were away and getting any homework/revision/test info/etc.

Original poster

IckleJess · 12/01/2011 09:48

His attendance is excellent, first day off since September. He's a tough kid, not much holds him back and its rare for him to admit to being unwell.

I just think DH is being OTT comparing the situation to one where if he was at work he wouldn't have a day off. DH has a very strong work ethic, runs his own business and works 13hr days so can see where he is coming from but I think he is being unfair on DS. He is only 15, he is very likely to be working full time from the age of 16 as has no intentions of staying on at school any longer than he has too (currently trying to persuade him to go to college or do appreticeship) so he will need to harden up but its 1 day off fgs!

OP posts:

NoLadyButManyBubbasAndBumps · 12/01/2011 09:49

As a cyncial old fart teacher, I would say go in to school and don't be pathetic, but that's because I don't trust most students' excuses for not being in! If he's normally a good attender and hard worker, I'd believe him, but if he's a bit of a slacker, kick him to school!

NoLadyButManyBubbasAndBumps · 12/01/2011 09:50

sorry, x-post

ignore my last post then! Hope he feels better soon then! :)

mutznutz · 12/01/2011 09:51

Blimey if he's had no time off since Sept then I doubt he's pulling a fast one. I really wouldn't worry about it.

Bogeyface · 12/01/2011 09:53

THe cough wouldnt be enough for him to be off for me, but the lack of sleep would. I always think that losing sleep through illness makes you feel worse than the illness itself.

Tell your DH to leave the boy alone. A missed nights sleep at 15 has far more consequences than it does for a grown man!

saffy85 · 12/01/2011 09:56

YANBU. Let him sleep today. Sleep deprivation wont help him concentrate anyway, nor will painful muscles. Hopefully he will feel rested enough to go in tomorrow.

Ooopsadaisy · 12/01/2011 10:01

It certainly won't make him feel any better if there's mixed support for him in the house.

Yeah, he'll be working in 18 months and good for him, but if he's unfit for school then he needs to rest.

Has DH never been ill or lost a night's sleep?

Let him have a day's rest. Poor lad.

backwardpossom · 12/01/2011 10:08

Definitely keep him home. If he's coughing and spluttering through the school day, he might give his lurgy to some other poor sod.

Hope he's better tomorrow. :)

Niecie · 12/01/2011 10:09

YANBU - lost sleep is hard to cope with at the best of times and you need more of it at 15 than you do as a grown up.

Plus DH can dig all his likes about the cough not being so bad now but surely he knows that coughs get worse when you lie down? He can't have got to adulthood without working that one out can he?

That said, it is a day off school to rest so I wouldn't be letting your DS out or let him do anything energetic. I would probably be suggesting that he do some homework too. It shouldn't be a 'treat' for being ill.

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