to expect my dd to wipe her bottom and wash her hands.

[plainjanesuperbrain]

My dd is 5.5 and in Y1.

She never wipes or washes her hands without being told.

I don't need to go to the toilet with her, she is very capable of doing these things herself, she either forgets some of the time, and most of the time just chooses not to do it.

She knows why it is important, I have been repeating the words "now wipe your bottom and wash your hands" for 3 and a 1/2 years now and am quite frankly fed up.

I have told her that I am not bothering any more, and if she has germy, shit stained, piss covered hands and a smelly bottom then I don't want to be near her.

I could cope with the occasional forgetting, it's the deliberately not bothering that gets to me.

Do your 5 year olds ever remember or take the responsibility to do the necessary after using the toilet? or am I expecting too much?

She needs to do it, or she is not going to be very popular at school.

Could you perhaps let her pick some handwash that she likes.. and buy a special roll of loo paper (like the one with pink flowers on).. to give her a bit more encouragement.

Been there and done all that, works for about a 2 days, and what about school when I am not there. She's just bone idle..

Eeeek.. and yuk too...

What about a box of wet wipes rather than paper, and she can use them to clean her hands with too.

What are her friends like? Will they shame her into doing it maybe?

I can't use wet wipes as we have a house with very old sewage systems which can't cope with the flushable wipes and don't really fancy a bin full of them either.

Have bought lots of different hand washes, have loo roll with puppies on, she has a stool to reach the sink easily, have praised and praised her when she does wash her hands, have expressed my digust when she doesn't.

I think I have given up now- am putting the responsibilty on to her now.

If she wants to be dirty then I think it's her own choice really.

I know it's bad, but this made me laugh.

It also reminds me of my brother when we were kids - no amount of telling, of praising, of punishing, of making it easy, of pretending not to care, of reminding at exactly the right moment would get my brother to put his shoes in the shoe cupboard.

I think talk to her teacher, so that she doesn't report you for neglect and then leave your daughter to it. If she won't learn to wipe her bum, she'll have to cope with poop in her pants for the rest of the day. Which, apart from the social aspects of it, sounds bloody uncomfortable.

Maybe a day walking around with a sticky, smelly wedgie will teach her a lesson she won't forget.

YAB a bit U. DS1 is 5 and I often check his bottom to make sure he has wiped it properly, and also make sure he has washed his hands. They are still quite young and really it is still your responsibility to check that she has a clean bottom and hands.

Surely not when the child is going to school it isnt?

I don't mind helping if she has difficulty! bu fed up the deliberate avoidance. She even lies about it when asked.