To not want DH's friend to visit on Friday?

[magicmummy1]

Well, just that really. We had a houseful of people over Christmas (my family) and I am relieved to have our space back to ourselves now. But DH's friend from abroad is in the UK for a couple of weeks, and wants to stay the night on Friday.

House is a mess :(, friend is quite posh and probably has servants to clear up after him at home so won't get why our place is such a tip. I have met him once before, briefly, but don't really know him - but I know he has been really helpful to DH in the past. DH really looks up to this guy, and obviously wants everything to be perfect, which just increases the pressure.

I'm having a shit time at work right now, and just want to flop at home on Friday evenings, not cook up big dinners and socialise with people I don't know. But the guy has invited himself to stay, and I know it's important to DH to be good hosts, so I'll have to put a smile on my face and go along with it.

Oh, I know IABU really, but just fed up and need a moan! :(

Can understand why you're fed up but it's only for one night and presumably your DH hasn't seem him in a while and won't see him again for ages.

Get you DH to tidy up the house before Friday.

And DH can't clean the house and the cook the dinner because.....

?

get a babysitter and go out!

No YANBU, you are tired and don't want the pressure that is all and I no what you mean as when people are there you feel you can't relax yourself.

I would say as it is your dh's friend let him tidy up and look after his guest.Not saying sit there and ignore him though but if your dh really wants him there he will make the effort.

And try and relax, don't put too much pressure on yourself, he is not royalty and if he is any kind of friend he will except you and your house the way it is.

Go with it, you might have fun. Do something easy like get a takeaway to take the pressure off the cooking so you can at least try and relax and try and enjoy yourself.

Some of our best nights have been with people I previously thought a bit up themselves, bit have done something really unpretentious like spag bog or pizza and just got on with it and had a good laugh. Good luck.

Can't dp take him out for a manly dinner, whilst you stay at home? And dp can clean up on Thursday! :)

sorry, that didnt sound that sympathetic, and should obv have said DH to do cleaning!

Thanks all. DH is trying to sort out stuff in the house, but it's difficult as he is working every evening this week (as well as daytime). As for cooking, I dunno - I always end up doing it when we entertain, probably because I'm better at it.

mommmmyof2, I think you have hit the nail on the head there really - I am simply putting too much pressure on myself. Thinking about it, I often do when we have guests from DH's home country who I don't know well, because I sometimes feel that I am being judged by their expectations of what a "wife" should be - I know for a fact that lots of them disapproved when he married me because I wasn't "one of their own", and so I guess I still feel like I have a point to prove. Ridiculous really, after more than 15 years together, as I know that DH doesn't buy into any of that shit, but still...:(

I rather like the idea of DH taking him out for a "manly dinner" but unfortunately DH can't drive. Would it be rude for me to take them to a restaurant and leave them there?!

No it is not ridiculous to feel that way, it is a shame that you have been made to feel that way in the first place, but your dh obviously loves you and that is what matters. And 15 years later I think no one has the room to judge you.

Nothing wrong with dropping them off and leaving them, you can just say it like you are doing them a favour by having male bonding time, then you get the tv to yourself too