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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell this lady to bend down and get it herself?

36 replies

WimpleOfTheBallet · 11/01/2011 20:11

I'm genuinely not sure...I was in the local CoOp looking for some cake decorations...standing right up against the shelf as the aisles are very narrow...and people were walking past now and then.

A woman came along, pointed to something on the very bottom shelf by my feet...(I was obstructing her from getting it) and said "Can you pass me one of those."

No please either.

She said "Can you pass me one of those" in a very off-hand way. I was a bit Hmm because isn't it usual to ask someone to move so you can get it yourself?

If I had been squatting down and was right beside the item then fair enough...or if she was old then fine...but she was a couple of years older than me (38) and looked as fit as a fiddle so I moved and said "No, but I'll move so you can get it."

And she looked at me like I was a freak!

Am I?

I fully accept your verdict because I AM a freak in many ways. Plus I have scoliosis which is painful but didn't feel the need to explain that to a stranger who was ordering me about. Grin

OP posts:
CupcakesHay · 11/01/2011 20:13

no YANBU - how odd! Although i spose, playing devil's advocate- maybe she had something wrong with her and can't bend easily either...?

mcfee · 11/01/2011 20:13

Did she think you worked there?

duchesse · 11/01/2011 20:14

What a rude woman! Glad you didn't comply- sometimes it's hard to resist orders like that.

5Foot5 · 11/01/2011 20:15

mcfee beat me to it. Could what you were wearing have borne some resemblance to the shop assistants uniform?

Even so it would have been polite to say please.

usualsuspect · 11/01/2011 20:16

mcfee I hate it when that happens ...I asked someone in a shop something the other day thinking they worked there Blush

op she could have said please ,but I would ask if someone was in my way

susiedaisy · 11/01/2011 20:17

she should of at less offered an explanation, bad back, recent surgery for example rather than just blurt it out and expect you to bend right down and get it, odd lady!

Original poster
WimpleOfTheBallet · 11/01/2011 20:17

No I dont think she thought I was an assistant...my toddler was with me...plus I had my coat on with a big fur collar which makes for an odd uniform...pluse scarf etc.

OP posts:
susiedaisy · 11/01/2011 20:17

less least!

MadamDeathstare · 11/01/2011 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

friedtoacrisp · 11/01/2011 20:19

Would it have cost you to just pass it? Just because she has no manners doesn't mean you have to act like a two year old.

QODneystones · 11/01/2011 20:19

OH I hate that - I am fat and just had a 3 week period with a plastic tube thru me kidney - I didnt an wouldnt bend over for anything cos it hurt! Plus... i might fall over being a bit weeble'ish too

hmc · 11/01/2011 20:19

YANBU - if she had smiled engagingly and said 'please' I would have got it for her, but an imperious order -no, I would have done as you did

magicmummy1 · 11/01/2011 20:20

Years ago, my father used to wander around the supermarket after work, and for some bizarre reason, he was regularly mistaken for the manager. People used to come up and start complaining to him about stuff. Hmm

hmc · 11/01/2011 20:21

And I can't for the life of me see friedtoacrisp's point, where you in the Coop earlier fried?

pickgo · 11/01/2011 20:21

I used to have a bright orange fleece and was always being mistaken for someone who worked in Sainsburys and asked where things were etc.

I like to think I was quite helpful! Grin

Needless to say I soon stopped wearing that particular jacket when I went shopping.

Your experience, if she DID think you worked there, just shows how rudely shop workers are commonly treated by great old Joe Public.

RevoltingPeasant · 11/01/2011 20:21

You no doubt are a freak, but also YANBU.

I would've been frosteeee, as years of being spoken to like a serf whilst waitressing have given me a big chip on the shoulder.

Toughasoldboots · 11/01/2011 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrettyCandles · 11/01/2011 20:21

Well she asked "can you", and your answer was perfectly accurate - no, due to your scoliosis, you can't. You don't have to give your medical history. YANBU

Though I don't think she was necessarily being rude, either.

Original poster
WimpleOfTheBallet · 11/01/2011 20:23

Friedtoacrisp..yes..it would have cost me...it would have hurt. As I said I have scoliosis...but I don't have to tell that to rude strangers who cannot say please!!

OP posts:
Original poster
WimpleOfTheBallet · 11/01/2011 20:24

Toughasoldboots...I think some people kind of order others about and it becomes a habit...one which benefits them generally as most DO take a brisk order withot thinking.

OP posts:
Toughasoldboots · 11/01/2011 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aPixieInMyCaramelLatte · 11/01/2011 20:30

I don't see what was wrong with that myself.

Ok she could have said please but I would've just "yeah, sure" got one and thought nothing of it. Confused

Original poster
WimpleOfTheBallet · 11/01/2011 20:31

Yes..hard to be a teen sometimes as people often treat them like crap. It would have been impossible for a teen to refuse an order like the one I recieved...or she would seem cheeky.

OP posts:
StealthPolarStuckSpaceBar · 11/01/2011 20:34

In her defence I can't bear it when people are dithering in front of the item I want (not saying you were necessarily doing this) and I can see exactly what I want but I just can't get to it until they have decided between a tin of crunchy sweetcorn and sweetcorn and asparagus mix. Never an easy decision :) Nevertheless, that's one of the unwritten rules of the supermarket, and while there's nothing wrong with asking, not saying please was very rude of her

chiefchef · 11/01/2011 20:35

I would have happily passed it to her.

It's not rude at all to ask someone to pass something to you, especially if they are blocking you getting it yourself which is what the OP was doing.

Really, if you get offended by that, you must go around huffing and puffing about something every 5 minutes of the day!