to be upset that a close family member got their pa to send me an e-birthday card instead of doing it themself

[GeorgeEliot]

don't mind getting an ecard - but think the sender should actually send it themself.

YANBU

My SIL (DH's sister) gets MIL to organise all of my son's b.day/christmas presents - right down to wrapping it, giving it to us AND writing the card.

It just makes me feel like she has simply ticked something off a list rather than given it any thought at all. Then, of couse, I am obliged to send her three DC's presents and cards in return - that are rarely acknowedged. I find it all a bit of a farse.
I have, finally, put a stop to it though .

reciprocate in kind...

I would but I am too lowly to have a secretary or pa.

When you say 'close family member' are we talking spouse? Parent? If it's a sibling, a cousin or beyond I'd be grateful for the gesture. 'It's the thought that counts' and all that.

arf @ MadamDeathStare that's genius

arf @ MadamDeathStare that's genius