to have been a little bit humiliated by this

[chaya5738]

I was sitting in a cafe yesterday when suddenly the girl next to me packs up all her books, gets up in a hurry, and moves to a table on the other side of the cafe. I got quite a fright from it because it was done so aggressively. I think because I looked up so surprised she called out across the cafe "I am sorry, it is just that I really don't want to get sick."

I had coughed (politely into my tissue) and that is what had spurred her to move.

I ended up having a laugh with her and saying I completely understood etc (I mean, I DO understand, I always HATE sitting next to someone with a cold on buses etc) but did feel quite humiliated because it was a busy but quiet cafe (everyone on laptops etc) so basically everyone heard including the guy two tables down from me who looked up.

The girl also had a North American accent, which is relevant to the extent that I think people with foreign accents usually attract more attention (I find my attention is draw to someone if they have a different accent from the usual one I hear in my town).

As way of confession, I have had the flu but it had been gone a week and, ironically, I had called the doctor's surgery to check whether I was still contagious (I teach so didn't want to pass it on). I wash my hands constantly, and use disposable tissues that I throw away almost immediately. All that was left of the flu was this dry cough. But I felt like a complete leper.

Am I being unreasonable to be a little bit humiliated?

(have to run off shortly but eagerly look forward to replies when I return)

YABU - I hate sitting next to coughers and sneezers, and I expect people don't like sitting next to me either when I'm in that state. I wouldn't have felt humiliated if someone moved away from me - probably sympathetic!

I know we are all forced to share space with people who may be infectious, but given the chance, wouldn't most of us choose to move away if someone starts coughing?

Her flounce may have been a bit U, but I understand her reasons.

Dec 2009 (height of swine flu panic) I was in a USA supermarket with toddler and 3 young boys... and I had a broken arm in a sling and cast. I'm packing my bags so as to fit the groceries on the stroller, and the packing-boy at the checkout cries out in quiet horror... "Er, he has a runny nose" (meaning toddler in stroller). Like I'm supposed to stop everything I'm doing to dig out a tissue, wipe the nose, and then find somewhere to bin the tissue, all in the cack-handed way you have to do things when you only have one good arm, and then continue my slow packing -- and commence doing it all that THAT INSTANT. Which would mean me and my germ-ridden child would end up hanging around the supermarket that much longer, of course.

I just brushed him off but cripes, illness paranoia can make people very daft.

Thanks everyone :) So funny to hear all your stories.

olderandwider - I agreed that I hate sitting next to sick people too (although I wasn't actually sick - just the annoying remainder of a tickly cough). And I sympathised with her when she said she didn't want to get sick. It wasn't the moving that bothered me. It was the calling out across the cafe that she didn't want to get sick that did.