To hate living in Manchester (and North in general)

[ILikeMilk]

Moved here four years ago to be with DH, and I still cannot get used to it. We are in a nicest area of Manchester, and it is still feels very provincial and boring. I dream about living in London, but DH does not want to look for a new job. I feel like there is no point and don?t want to decorate the house, make friends, etc, I just fantasise about being in London every single day. There is not much to do here, no nice streets or galleries, not much to do on the weekends as a family. I went to London this weekend, it was so painful to come back. Does anybody else feel this way?

We should form a 'Homesick Massive'!

Yep, MilaMae..it's hard, man!

Thank you mango, you made me laugh! I also liked the comments about "but there is more to life than looking at paintings" and about me being boring because I enjoy art instead of "real hobbies".

milamae, you summed it up well. For although I am from oop NOrth I sepnt my best years in the SW and long to return - that is also where all of my friends are

I know she does, Mango.
BUT she has to stay put for at least a year. No way round it.
So she can either moon around and dream of her SATC lifestyle or she can just try and enjoy herself.

And imo she hasn't really tried (from what she's said) these past 4 years.

I don't think the location is the only problem in any case. I think she feels railroaded by her DH into moving up here and is coming to terms with a completely different lifestyle now she is a Mother.

I'm not keen on where I live. It's full of smelly leggings wearers. However, i look on the bright side. Nice pubs/restaurants, parks, countryside and excellent schools make up for the fact that I'm not in the metropolis. If it were making me depressed I'd move. Easy.

Magic, but I DID have that life, so I know exactly what I want. I still go regularly to London, its just not the same being a visitor.

OP, I really feel for you. You are living in an area you intensely dislike, which is a pretty dismal experience if you're a SAHM. I don't know Hale as an area, but I gather it's pretty much suburbia - I can totally relate to hating suburban life after living in London. We've moved from central London to "London suburbia" and it does feel provincial. Living somewhere with just streets and streets of houses (and maybe some shops, but nothing to get your pulse racing) is a big adjustment when you're used to walking out of your front door and seeing an array of shops, restaurants and coffee places right in front of you. Not to mention the quietness of suburbia, which can feel really dull if you prefer a buzzier atmosphere. Some people are just not made to live in suburbia. Other people on here are disagreeing with you as they like the area you live in - but that doesn't mean that you're wrong to hate it, nor does it automatically mean that you've made no effort. It just means you like a different lifestyle.

Your DH did agree to reconsider things if you hated living in his house, so sit him down and have a serious chat about it. Explain how you feel and set out your three options: go back to London, stay in the area (for trial period) or, if your DH really needs to stay in his job, find somewhere else local to live (if your DH doesn't want to sell the house, then rent it out and rent somewhere else to live in). Good luck - and don't forget to tell us how it all pans out!

Blimey, a year is nothing! There's at least a light at the end of the tunnel.

I think ILM will change dramatically when/if a move happens. I really do. It's actually quite insulting to downplay the full effect of homesickness.

Oh I don't know, I reckon Carrie and co. would love an Abdul's chip naan. :)

Judy, I can just picture them strolling down the street with the Primark bags.. Than stopping for a coffee at Debenhams.

Well if you DID have that life you WON'T gave it now as you are a mother. Doesn't matter where you live. You will not be falling out of bars in Blahniks at 4am, before giving a bj to a random in the back of a taxi.

More seriously, I agree with LizzieLou.

The OP has to stay here for at least a year, and it may be more. She knows what makes her happy, so I think she needs to go and find that in Manchester. And if it isn't already there, maybe she needs to start it going? But either way, she really needs to start looking for like-minded people to talk to over the next 12 months.

YABU it's great - just move to better bit of it and make an effort

Or she could just stick her lemon lip out and roll her eyes at simply everything. Some people thrive on being miseries.

OK, massive cross-post, but would your DH consider a relocation within the area (renting out his house if need be)?

Don't lie magichomes

I live in the north and its not too exciting. Luckily Im not after exciting now. Ive done most of the things mentioned (except the hat museum - which my 79 year old mil is going to with her old dears club next week).

Where are you up to with your Phd ilikemilk? I would have thought that would take up some time.

Another thought - what is the reason you have to stay for a year? Is it something your DH was aware of when you agreed to move up there? I am getting the impression that you feel that he hasn't been totally honest with you. That is a much bigger issue than the Hale/London divide...

Zombie, we cannot rent it out, because the mortgage has this condition attached to it and the interest will double. Also it is a huge house, not sure will be easy to rent it out without doing it all up (which I dont have much interest in to be honest) and will cost a fortune. We would do it up but only if we were sure we are going to stay. We could sell, but DH thinks there is no point in selling and buying again in Manchester, as we dont want to stay here long term so it will be a waste of money.

Saturday I am just at the start. Had to do something with my brain, and also a reason to get out of the house.

Are you doing it through a manchester uni? That will tie you to there for longer, surely.