Background (sorry it's long and some of this is C&P from an earlier post of mine) - Split up from H when DDs were a baby and a toddler following physical and emotional abuse from him. He then spent many years refusing to see DDs while he and his partner claimed he was a SAHD so couldn't provide for them. In fact he was working for his DPs business (proven, not just suspicion).
He reappeared when I had cancer and the DDs were 5 and 7, taking more interest in my life than DDs, seeing them for about an hour a month in my house then stropped and walked away for another few years. Finally, about 2 years ago, he offered to pay £100pm for the girls (he started working for an employer and knew he'd have to pay more via CSA otherwise). He would come to my house for 1 to 1.5 hours once a month and again spend more time bragging to me about his car/holiday/nights our talking to me than he does to the DDs. Visits are unreliable, he's missed months here and there (but still goes to pub regularly, smokes etc 
). Inbetween visits, nothing, not even a call unless DD1 calls him.
The girls are now 15 and very nearly 14.
The past 6 months have been hell for the DDs and I, with DD2, who is a challenging, suspected SEN child, off school so with me all day every day (long story, involving bullying). I've fought legal battles, had serious meetings to which he has been invited (he lives 5 miles away, has a car), written long reports and cc'd him in to get no response, not even feedback from him, asked him to attend meetings only to be told he'll think about it and then heard no more and had a pal travelled 70 miles on the train to support me because the girl's own father wouldn't.
Then he turned up last month for an hour, sat drinking tea, asking "have they done anything about a school for DD2?" and remarking that karate, the only activity offered in this village for a child of her age, which very much enjoys, was inappropriate in his opinion.
I quietly but angrily hit the roof. No, "they" (the LA) hadn't, but I had... alone save for a friend of mine who owes us nothing but has done more for the DDs and is more respected as a consequence than he is. That he had no excuse for not even ringing to chat to the DDs, none for not visiting his kids, none for questioning DD2s sports class knowing that I have no transport and there is nothing else in the village given he doesn't offer to take the girls elsewhere, not even for an hour in his own house for a DVD or a chat. I also told him that he had no excuse for expecting me to feed, clothe and pay the bills for 2 teenagers on £11 a week each whilst he smoked, drank, enjoyed holidays and ran a car.
It was when I was adding that he was a disgrace, an apology for a man and an apology for a father too that he picked up his cigarettes and car keys and walked out, saying that he wasn't going to sit there and listen to this. DD1 was in the sitting room and piped up to calmly say that he was upsetting us all and it wasn't acceptable, DD2 stayed in her room throughout, she doesn't want to know him she says though I know bloody well she would if he made the poor child feel wanted.
My two daughters didn't get as much as a card this Christmas from their father (though not for the 1st time by any means). No doubt rather than face the CSA he will at some point this or next month turn up on my doorstep again. It's DD2's birthday this month though as she got no Christmas card I doubt if he'll make his visit around that weekend. :(
AFAIAC I have fucking well had enough. I want to tell him that A -he owes me money and B - to put it through the letterbox because I no longer want him in my house. He is welcome to see the girls at his house or take them out and they are old enough to arrange that with him direct but I see no benefit in him coming through my door.
The problem is that he won't bother. He doesn't even phone them now, he lives only 5 miles away but won't get into his car to see them or take them anywhere. If I tell the useless, abusive, using, cruel fuckwit never to come to my house again his children won't even have the opportunity to see him for that hour a month.
I feel that I have to make a stand. The girls are not babies and they do know what he's like, I've never lied to them. Every visit from that man makes me more resentful and more furious. The bastard is laughing at me, arriving without prior warning at my house to drop a few crumbs our way, tell us about his latest XBox/leather suite/holiday, knowing his kids and I don't have many of the things he takes for granted, and then swanning off again.
But AIBU to do it?