... to wish my DSS would choose a different "love of his life" ?

[motherinlawintraining]

Ok, I've namechanged for thus and some areas of info may be sketchy, sorry !

AIBU to wish that my DSS hadn't started going out with his current girlfriend ? He is early 20's and she is 11 years his senior. He has a job where he is away from home apart from some weekends. He sometimes has to go abroad for months at a time and his job is very dangerous. She however, works as some sort of manager for a very large company.

They have been together 6 months and she's already talking of her house being "theirs". A couple of months ago they were looking to buy a house together for over £220k despite him being terrible with money (owes DH £500 for over a year) and her being in a redeployment pool with the possibility of redundancy.

She doesn't like the job he's doing and appears to be doing everything to get him out of it ..... or it certainly seems that way to me (playing up injuries etc...). Thing is, I have no idea what he'd do if he didn't do this, and really believe he'd be unhappy.

Sorry for the really long post. Think I just needed a rant really. Can't moan too much to DH as he just wants me to pretend to like her so we don't lose him completely to her. Don't get me wrong, I'm being civil etc but I can't bring myself to hug her or chat as I don't like what she's doing to my lovely DSS.

Think I'm going to end up being the mother-in-law from hell !!

That's very good advice thevile - just so long as the OP can keep any suggestion of disapproval or lecturing out of it, or he will, (quite understandably) become defensive and very protective of his GF.

OK - that was a bit strong - but honestly, it can evolve into an unpleasant long-term situation if not sorted out properly.

I have to put up with weekly emails from MIL to DH (happy, lazy old sod) telling him that the bad times will pass one day, to hold on in there, keep his chin up, carry on crossing through the storm/earthquake/ insert: other natural disaster.

We all know that she is referring to me but has not got the balls to write it directly (she tried not so long ago and found herself out of her depth). So we get indirect, completely misplaced 'we are all so concerned about you DH' 'we really, really, really hope you DH are OK' when the real problem is that they dislike me because I am from a different country to them and practically pay for/do everything in our family. It might boil down to MIL feeling insecure on DHs part (maybe you feel the same re DSS) but that is almost no longer relevant given the huge amount of hatred she appears to feel.

You should sit down with DSS and his partner and engage in frank discussion because your feelings are not just going to go away in time.