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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to take DS1 to toddler groups

18 replies

kitkey · 10/01/2011 20:14

DS1 has just turned 3 and DS2 is 20mths. We go to playgroups most mornings that I am not working. However, it has just occurred to me that most 3 year olds are at a pre school or nursery in the morning and maybe DS1 is too old to go to be going to playgroups still. The reason he doesn't go to nursery every morning is DH works full time and I work on Wednesdays and Thursdays so we are going to use the early years funding towards the 20hrs that we pay for his nursery each week. We cannot afford to pay for anymore sessions for the days I am off and anyway I like to spend time with him on my days off so wouldn't really want him to go to nursery more than 20 hrs a week anyway. He still quite likes playgroups but I mainly go to take DS2 - I suppose I would still like to go until the weather improves but is this unfair to people with younger children and babies who would not like to see a 3 year old at playgroups (the ones I go to say they are for under 5s)

OP posts:

SheWillBeLoved · 10/01/2011 20:15

If they are for under 5's and he enjoys them, then take him. YANBU.

fedupofnamechanging · 10/01/2011 20:18

I don't think that 3 is too old. That's still a baby to me. So long as you are all happy, I think you should continue as you are.

MadamDeathstare · 10/01/2011 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 10/01/2011 20:19

When 1 YO DD2 starts to go to playgroups 10 YO DD1 is going to have to come along as well if she's on school holidays

He's only three, so I'm sure he's having a right old time and doesn't mind at all, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks really.

ohnoshedittant · 10/01/2011 20:21

YANBU.

I take DC3 to playgroup and he has just turned 3 as well. There are lots of other children there his age and also quite a few who are older (they go to school nursery in the afternoon).

I can't see why it would be unfair on people with younger children, unless he is badly behaved and snatches/fights/hurts the little ones. As long as he is playing nicely and staying out of any areas specifically for babies then I think it's fine.

If all the other children are much younger though, I would maybe look for another playgroup with some older children, just so he has someone his own age to play with.

SmethwickBelle · 10/01/2011 20:23

I can relate to what you are saying; my eldest just seems VAST compared to his brother and smaller babies, there definitely seems to be a growth spurt as they "blossom into childhood" and get towards school age.

I don't suppose anyone else minds. I have DS1 at 3.5 who's in nursery two full days and so on the other three days he and DS2 who's 13 months have to go to the same things with me. Sometimes this means he's the big one in a group of littler babies, other times DS2 is scampering to keep up with the bigger boys and girls.

I don't take them to playgroups just as there aren't many that I like round here but other people's houses, soft play, swimming pool or park or whatever, you always get a mix of ages.

Booandpops · 10/01/2011 20:53

I wouldn't see that as a problem. In school hols I'd take son 3 and dd 5 to my local childrens center for a play to get them out Alongside babies and 8 yo's. It's fine.

ShoppingDays · 10/01/2011 21:00

YANBU. Lots of children go to nursery but plenty don't, and if the group is for under-5s then they're catering for you, so you should be welcome :)

lazylula · 10/01/2011 21:18

I took my ds1 to a tots group until he was 4.8 years, when he was due to start school. He went to a pre school 3 mornings a week and then came to a tots group 1 morning. This particular one works very well, catering from tiny babies to children approaching school age.

katiestar · 10/01/2011 22:11

No of course he isn't too old!

monkeyflippers · 10/01/2011 22:15

Your DC is nowhere near too old.

blackeyedsusan · 10/01/2011 22:21

dd went until she was 3.10, she went to afternoon nursery so did both.

It can be difficult if you get big kids running riot, but the fact that you are considering taking him makes me think you won't be letting him!

blackeyedsusan · 10/01/2011 22:21

considering not taking him

mumeeee · 10/01/2011 23:03

They are for under 5's and a lot of 3 year olds go to them around here.

simpson · 10/01/2011 23:07

The local toddler group I take DD (2.11) to is till they start full time school.

from Sept this yr DD will be going to the nursery in the local school in the morning and I will still take her to toddler group (in the afternoon) as its a chance for me to gossip with the other mums-- her to play

SkyBluePearl · 10/01/2011 23:15

Just enjoy taking them and spending time with them and friends.

DandyDan · 10/01/2011 23:29

Just take them along to your local group and see.

The group I run is deliberately called an Under-Fives Group, rather than a Toddlers group, so that people know that anyone with a child under the age of 5 can come along - from birth right up to those last weeks before school. It's good for children to meet children of other ages and interact with them, not just their peers at nursery - so they can learn to have fun at a group but not be too boisterous if there are babies crawling about. Our group has children from a few days old right up to almost-at-school and they all get on fine together.

monkeyflippers · 11/01/2011 07:48

There will always be 3/4 year olds at playgroups as they aren't at school yet so what are you supposed to do with them. The question surprised me really as you DC is a toddler and they are "toddler groups"!

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