to ask dd to walk this much in a day?

[Dragonhart]

I walk dcs to school and nursery every school day which involves my just 4yo dd walking;

20 mins to school, then about 10mins standing round before the children go into their class
20mins to nursery
15mins home from nursery at lunch time
20mins to school at home time
20mins from school to home

These times are walking at her speed and if I am on my own takes nearly half that time.

Ds1 has walked everywhere since he was 2 so perhaps he has made me unrealistic as to what I can expect a 4yo to walk?

monkey - good point. You're right it should nevr be one size fits all. I stand corrected! .

Maybe need to start another thread about this but mutznutz - how can you be pissd off at kids using micro scooters but NOT about cars parking on pavements near school. I must have mis read/misunderstood your comments surely?

My child nearly got knocked down by a car which drove on pavement in front of us in order to make room for another car to pass.

monkey - good point. You're right it should nevr be one size fits all. I stand corrected! . . . Oh well, thanks very much! was expecting to be called a twat.

I think it also depends on your route to school and back. Ours involves only 2 roads and they are minor ones. We have no main roads to deal with.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all exepcting her to walk at 4 years old, a lot of children (my middle son included) will start school at just a few weeks after their 4th birthdays, I would never expect a reception age child to be in a pushchair.

A few of the mums at DS1 school did use buggy boards for their just turned 4 year old if they had a long way to walk, although of course that's not an option if you have no younger children, but I think you said you have a 2 year old as well. It's not really worth buying a buggy board now though, you wouldn't be using it for long, I think my eldest stopped using the buggy board at nearly 4 years old and he was getting a bit too heavy for it then to be honest!

So not unreasonable, but if she is struggling a bit, what about some days walking to school and nursery, then doing the pick-ups in the car if you have that option. And definately leave plenty of time so she dosen't have to rush too much.

good post, monkey

the "lets walk 5 miles each way in a howling gale, brag loudly about to all and sundry, anyone that doesn't is raaaaaaally unfit " make me puke

skydance I would never expect a reception age child to be in a pushchair

Following on from my post (a few up), whether on not a reception age child is in a pushchair has nothing at all to do with whether YOU expect it but everything to do with what that child is capable of doing. My DC who wasn't able to walk to nursery still couldn't walk all the way to school when she started reception in Sept and it's only a 10 min walk at the most. She can manage it now as long as we go at her pace but she still finds it very tiring on the way home. If I didn't have a younger DC then she would have loved to have gone in the buggy and that would have been fine with me. I will tell her though that YOU don't expect it of her, that should make all the difference. (Sarcasm face)

monkey I'm not generally a judgey person, but I'm afraid I would be very shocked by a reception age child arriving at school in a buggy, and you only have a 10 min walk.

Reception class in my child's school a month in they start walking to the local shops and library occasionaly, tied in with lessons, that's a good 20 min walk then the same back, never would it have occured to me that the children would not be able to walk that far at that age, it has never been an issue at all. Reception children have an all day school trip at christmas, again they are on their feet pretty much all day, lots of walking, parhaps you need to address this, before it starts causing problems, as the teachers will expect her to walk.

Does your daughter have medical issues? Is it just walking 10 mins to school she has a problem with, would she be fine if you were walking to the park? If no medical issues, than I'm sorry it's a parenting issue, you need to take control and tell her to get on with it frankly, she is walking, end of, as I say needs stronger parenting.

taffe the "lets walk 5 miles each way in a howling gale, brag loudly about to all and sundry, anyone that doesn't is raaaaaaally unfit " make me puke

nobody is suggesting that, completly irrelevent, we are talking about a short 10 minute walk to school in monkeys case.

skydance Ok trying to remain calm . . .

First small correction, it probably actually takes about 15 mins for DD to walk to school (just worked it out).

I don't give a shit if you are shocked that a reception age child might use a buggy. Do you stand by the school gates going "oooh that one's in a buggy", "that one can't ride their bike very well", "that one's got a limp/funny walk" etc. Yes you are a judgey person. You are wrong there.

Also good for you that "it has never been as issue at all" for you. Congratulations.

She doesn't have a medical problem as such but is small for her age and has legs like string that tire easily. She is a normal child but is about the same weight as a 2/3 year old. She is just little and probably the smallest in her school. At play times I know she gets tired and has to have little rests.

And no she doesn't magically walk better if we are going to the park. AND NO IT ISN'T A PARENTING PROBLEM! Thanks for that! Perhaps I should "take control" by strappy her hand to her siblings buggy and dragging her down the road. Seeing as her little legs can't carry her that far then they will drag on the floor getting all scraped and bloody . . . but as long as I am "taking control" eh.

So far she hasn't been taken on any all day school trips (her school understand differing abilities and that some, probably the one's who are only just 4 will tire quickly, and don't think it is appropriate at that age and neither do it).

She is a person with abilities and weaknesses like any other and frankly you have pissed me off!

monkeyflippers you are using your DDs size as a reason for her not being able to walk 15 mins to school. It takes 15 mins to walk to our school and DS2 has been doing it since he was 2.6. He is now just over 3 and can walk it 4 times in one day.

I don't think it unreasonable for a child to be able to walk those distances. As skydance says they are expected to do it on school trips.

Okay my two pennorth. If your kids at 4/5 can't walk 20 minutes or more by school, please don't send them to my DCs school (although with kids with medical reasons why not they will ferry them by car). They have regular trips to the outdoor classroom, 10 minutes or more there, and the same back and then 1/2 to 1 1/2 hours of outside activity. As well as trips to the partner school (at least 15 min) trips into town 10 min each way. My own DD 6 managed the trip to the partner school on her crutches last year (they gave her a lift back because she was slow). So I don't think OP your DD does too much walking.

However it can ease the pain if you have treats, eg. Bananas, raisins etc. As it is much harder if tired and hungry, an actually I find eating distracts them a bit from moaning.

When my middle one was 4, for a few weeks we had to do a 30 minute walk each way to her brother's piano lesson, because our car had broken down; she coped fine (and I am so proud of her fro doing so).

Eglu - let me explain again.

I'm not using her size as a reason . . . it is a reason! Plus the fact that she isn't strong and tires very easily as previously mentioned. Also she CAN walk that distance but gets very tired on the way back and has only been able to do it fairly recently.

Also my DDs tired little legs don't give a toss what you think is reasonable for them to be able to do.

Do you get it? What she is able or not able to do is not determined by what you or skydance or anyone else thinks she should be able to do.

If I think YOU should be able to do a double backflip somersaut does that make you able to do it?

I said the school has never had a problem with it, none of the children or parents have ever had an issue. My children's school do an all day school trip for reception children in early december and my children also did a trip in nursery to a farm, also as I say they are expected to do a lot of short local walks in reception class.

What on earth children with a limp/funny walk have to do with it I'm not sure.

Do lots of children arrive at school in a pushchair where you live monkey? thereby making it more acceptable/normal. I can honestly say that I have never seen a child in school uniform in a pushchair around here.

And yes I'm afraid the other parents probably are judging.

Perhaps monkey it's time to start encouraging her to walk, if it was a long walk I could perhaps understand a little more, but 10/15 mins isn't far, they do need a bit of encouragement when they first start reception to walk home, that's normal, I used to have a snack and a drink ready to give them a boost for the walk home.

skydance - What on earth children with a limp/funny walk have to do with it I'm not sure. - It means that you are standing around at the school gates looking down your nose at children who aren't as physcially able as your own.

Do lots of children arrive at school in a pushchair where you live monkey? - No they don't, not that I have noticed anyway but then I am not looking around for things to dissapprove of. As I have said a couple of times already, she DOES walk to school but has only been able to make it all the way there and back recently so there is no need for extra encouragement to walk right now and she is doing just fine and getting stronger all the time. She will get better at it in her own time.

As I have said approx 2154 times, my DDs legs don't care if you don't think that a 15 min walk is not very far. They are not making a choice to get tired by that time and they will not chose to be able to walk further because you don't agree with it.

monkey she is physcially able, she's a normal 4 year old, she dosen't have a limp, she is able to walk normally with no medical issues, you have stated that yourself.

Anyway glad that she's been building up her stamina and can now manage the walk.

Skydance, I am going to make one last attempt to make myself understood to you. I don't know why because you are obviously either not listening or choosing not to listen, so here it is.

My child may or may not (it's none of anyones business) has issues which have caused her to not be very strong or big. That's not the point as she is still "normal".

The point I was making is that every child is different and is capable of different things. My child is on the normal spectrum, and that's what it is, a spectrum. If you had one child who was able to run 10 miles a day would that mean all the other children should be able to do it? Would you say their parents had parenting issues because your child can do that and theirs can't?

Even if it is normal for kids to be able to walk to school every day and most kids can do it, that doesn't mean that all kids can do it.

Urg, I don't know why I'm bothering.

I agree with you Monkeyflippers, different strokes for different folks.

Dd1 is in reception and her sister is a year younger than her, they take it in turns to sit in the double buggy with their baby brother, because sometimes they are tired, grumpy, it's raining, I'm late, they have been poorly etc. We walk/scoot or catch the bus every single day because I don't drive, it is a long walk and she is an appalling sleeper. Just about every other child arrives in a car every day, so I really don't see what difference it makes if sometimes dd1 arrives in a pushchair. I don't feel as though other mums look down on me, most are impressed she walks as much as she does.

There is a tendency on here for people to think that just because their child does xy znd z then everyone elses child should be doing it.

thanks hazeyjane! Was starting to think I was going mad as I wasn't being understood. Banging head on brick wall syndrome!

I can see it from both sides really! With ds1 I would have thought 'why cant any 4yo walk to school, mine can, surely you are just giving in?' but then having been walking with dd2 I realise that they all have their limits and that when dd says she cannot walk anymore NOTHING I say will make her walk more. She just cant do it.

That said I must admit that I took dd2 to clarks on tue and found she had grown a whole size. Now she is in bigger wellies and shoes, she has been skipping and smiles ever since! We have also been leaving earlier and she is actually walking faster than when I was constantly rushing her last week.

Dragonhart - Hi are you saying that it was the new shiny shoes that helped or the fact that your child was now bigger which bigger feet?

For what it's worth my 4yo DC has tiny size 6 feet!

I think that the squashed feet were part of the problem! And 'magic' new shoes could have helped. But also possibly because she was still getting into the swing of walking again after the christmas break? Who knows, as long as she is happy to do it then all is well in my world

As I said tho, she has struggled much more than her bigger brother at walking any distance and I feel sure that is to do with her size. She has met all the physical milestones on the later side of normal and considering she did not walk until she was 19months she is not doing too badly. There is nothing 'wrong' with her she just has to do it in her own time. The fact that she is as stuborn as me does tend to slow down proceedings too!!

Not really, they get used to it lol.

My two walk alot (as do i) they are 3 & 6

So they walk

20mins in morning to DD1 school,
20mins back home,
25mins in afternoon to DD2 nursery,
I walk 25mins home myself lol,
Then walk again myself another 20mins to DD1 school to pick her up,
Myself & DD1 walk to nursery from schoolwhoch is another 20mins,
then we all walk home another 20 mins.

So thats about 3 hours(?) a day mon to friday its exasting for me but they dont complain we dont have a car so they are used to it.

Nah Yanbu, we don't have a car so obviously walk everywhere. Ds1 got booted out of the pram at 3 because his younger brother was born. He did whinge quite a bit at first, but soon got used to it.

Never had that problem with dd, she was straining to get out of the pram at 2 and has always had decent stamina. Last summer (ds1 would have been 3) we walked miles and miles on various day trips, with regular breaks, and a smidgeon of "I'm tiiiiirrrreeeeeddddd" we coped.

Dd and Ds1 got bikes for christmas, which has taken the sting out of the school run a bit. I would encourage the bike riding, much faster and less procrastinating pretending to be dragons .

You are lucky, my DD (age 6) HATES walking and complains about it all the time.

In December I asked her, if she could choose 5 things for Father Christmas to bring her, what would she choose.

She replied straight away "A wheelchair, a wheelchair, a wheelchair, a wheelchair and a wheelchair".

I asked her why and she replied "BECAUSE I HATE WALKING!!!"

She didn't seem to mind on Christmas Day though when she got toys instead.