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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be so upset about her baby teeth?

18 replies

thenightwalker · 10/01/2011 13:36

My daughter is just coming up to 2. She has always been an extremely well behaved and co-operative baby (i obv knew this wouldnt last) and besides a few problems with recent fussy eating shes been fine. up until the last few weeks she hasnt let me into her mouth to brush her teeth.

She will scream, kick, bite me and cry as soon as i take her to brush her teeth. Iv tried lying her down and distracting her with something while i gently brush them but over the last week or two i have barely been able to get in to brush them atall because she puts up such a battle.

Today i tried to brush them and lay her down on the floor, she kicked me in the stomach out of protest and squeezed her lips together as tight as she could.

Her teeth have started to discolour slightly and im at the end of my teather and just dont know what to do.

I got so frustraed today that i really shouted at her (i never haveto shout at her and dont really use raised voices as part of my parenting but i really lost it) i ended up tossing the toothbrush to one side and walking out of the room before i really lost my temper.

I feel just awful and shitty about telling her off.

Iv tried letting her have a go herself and encouraging it with a smile and a good attitude and letting her do mine. nothing works.

please help!

OP posts:

GandTiceandaslice · 10/01/2011 13:38

Give her a toothbrush to chew on.
No toothpaste to begin with. Let her have it as a toy.
You will gradually progress.
Have her in the bathroom with you when you brush your teeth.
My dh has started to kick off when I brush his teeth as well.
It's partly a power issue I think!
Good Luck.

AgentZigzag · 10/01/2011 13:39

My DD1 used to be like this when I was cutting her nails, for her it was just the start of her discovering that she could have influence and control over herself and the world around her.

Don't be too hard on yourself for shouting, it's good you kept control.

Sounds like you're doing the right things, distracting/making light of it.

Could she be still teething, can't remember how long it goes on for.

Original poster

thenightwalker · 10/01/2011 13:43

she is still teething but none on their way through atm. she hasa couple left to come but i dont really think it is that. i agree with you both about the power/control thing but how do i deal with that?

Do i let her get her way or do i try to stand my ground? I feel by standing my ground im just getting wound up and upset but if i give up she will probably never let me back in her mouth.

any suggestions of how to deal with the tooth time tantrums?

OP posts:

ocdgirl · 10/01/2011 13:44

when my ds refused to have his teeth brushed i told him he would not be having anything containing sugar until he started allowing me to brush them again. This might not work if you don't allow juice and sweets anyway lol

Sariska · 10/01/2011 13:45

There's a brush called Brush Baby - I got one from JoJoMaman Bebe. It works by the child chewing on it. Think it's really aimed at babies but might be better than nothing if she will use it.

When my toddler was like this I tried to withhold as many sweet things as possible, even down to baked beans.

Sympathies - it's a horrible stage.

Original poster

thenightwalker · 10/01/2011 13:51

thanx ladies.. I dont allow sweets much but she does havethe odd biscuit so i will try that lol.

glad to hear that alot of you have had the same trouble (in the nicest way possible)makes me feel so not alone in my frustration.

Feeling really crappy about telling her off now. Level mummy head back on ill keep rolling on lol

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 10/01/2011 13:51

I think you have to be firm, but gently firm IYSWIM.

You don't want to battle her for hours, as like you say she'll never let you near her mouth again, but she needs to see there are consequences for stropping when you've asked her to do something.

What those consequences are only you can choose, but you sound spot on with what you're doing.

It gets easier as they get older in that you can explain more, but harder in that they learn how to cheek you back

RunningOutOfIdeas · 10/01/2011 13:52

I second the Brush Baby. Their website says it can be used until age 4. Your DD might be tempted by it since she can be in total control of it and might not really realise that she is cleaning her teeth when she chews the brush.

If she still resists it might be worth talking her to the dentist to check that there isn't a problem with a tooth making brushing painful. Especially since you wrote that her teeth are discoloured.

mutznutz · 10/01/2011 13:53

I think the more fuss you make the worse it may get.

How about a flashing or musical toothbrush for her to play with?

Original poster

thenightwalker · 10/01/2011 13:56

Thanx i will try the brush baby toothbrush.. anythings worth a try hey?

I was thinkingof taking her to the dentist with me next time i go.

I dont think its so much discolouring and more likely to be just plaque on her teeth as i do try my best to get in there and give them a go as often as i can squeeze in lol.

Definately worth getting them checked though.

Thanx for all you help ladies i feel much better

OP posts:

thehairybabysmum · 10/01/2011 13:57

We have the easy way or hard way in our house. Basically me or DH will forcibly clean them if they dont open up, sounds grim i know but beteer than holey teeth i reckon. I sit ds on my lap and if necessary can hold his arms/legs to stop him kicking me. I can honestly say that they have each only had the 'hard way' 3 or 4 times...the threat of it is sufficient to make them open up now!

Mine also have a toothbrush of their own they brush/chew with whilst i delve in with a second one.

silver28 · 10/01/2011 13:59

Ds is slightly older at 2.9 but he is much more cooperative since father Christmas brought a battery operated spiderman tootbrush

daisyj · 10/01/2011 14:00

My dd's (same age) is usually OK, but during a recent teeth-brushing 'strike' I cajoled her with the fact that the 'big girls' she admires (cousins and friends) all brushed their teeth, and got her 4-year-old cousin to do a couple of brushing sessions with her - seemed to work. Any chance you could co-opt and older child to help?

FabbyChic · 10/01/2011 14:03

YOu have to remember these are baby teeth, they will lose them eventually.

The baby brush idea sounds a start, but if you carry on she won't ever want to brush her teeth so you have to think up other things.

My poor kids had awful teeth because I was stupid enough to put orange juice or black current and apple juice in their night bottles.

By the age of four they had lost their front teeth through decay.

If only I had my time again! Taking a five year old to have five teeth out under local was awful.

Providing she is not having any damaging juice in her bottles she should be fine, am sure she doesn't have plaque yet! Takes years to build up.

Original poster

thenightwalker · 10/01/2011 14:05

Only older child i could ask would be my little sister (shes 7) huge age gap i know! and shes probably less co operative than my daughter!

I tried 'the hard way' today and it got me nowhere other than feeling shitty about telling her off asnd getting myself frustrated.

I think if she was a little older it might work but she doesnt seem to get the undewrstand consequence yet shes just too little and id rather not resort to that just yet.

OP posts:

sparkle12mar08 · 10/01/2011 14:09

Toothbrushing is non-negotiable in this house and always has been from the day they got their first one. Calmly and without fuss we have held them down and forced their mouths open if necessary, though we try to do so without actually hurting them iyswim. But come hell or high water we do it, and now at 4 and 2 they are perfect for us. I would recommend continuing personally, because it has to been seen as something that is a permanent part of the routine. Buy a fancy brush and use bribery etc by all means, but I would not hesitate to use strength if necessary. Good luck!

PrettyCandles · 10/01/2011 14:13

It could be that she loathes the taste of the toothpaste. Dd wasn't able to tell us this until she was about 3. She didn't know until then that the taste was a separate part of the whole teeth-cleaning experience.

Our dentist - himself a father of similar-aged children - advised that it was better for dd to develop a willing and regular habit of brushing, even without toothpaste, than for us ti force the issue. So for the next 3y or so we brushed dd's teeth with just water.

When her permanent teeth came through we brushed just those with a tiny amount of toothpaste a couple if times a week, and we're gradually building up.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 10/01/2011 14:14

Terrible troubles here too. DD (3.0) wasn't too bad for a while but for the last 3 months it has been open warfare. We tried changing brushes, changing toothpaste and for a while she would let me do it instead of DH who usually did. Now we get screaming, kicking and clamped mouth. I have to say we have taken to brute force, one pins her down and the other brushes. I hate doing it and we do try to talk her round all the time but I have awful teeth and I will do anything to make sure she doesn't.

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