I?m getting v. frustrated with a friend and I need to rant somewhere! About a fortnight ago I was round at a friend?s house, let?s call her friend a, and during the course of the evening she told me that she?s in a lot of debt, that she?s not admitted it to anyone, and then she?s really worried and it keeps her awake at night, and she doesn?t know what to do etc. I know someone who works for CAB, so I told friend that I could ask her what CAB would advise she should do. Friend had never heard of CAB but said yes, she would appreciate advise, she wants to get the debt sorted. So I speak to CAB contact, she sends back a really long email with loads of really good advice, friend a is very grateful and tells me she?s going to work out a plan to pay debts off with CAB.
This weekend friend a was telling me about a hen do she?s going on. We have a mutual friend, friend b getting married this year. Friend B wants to go abroad for her hen night for two nights, costing around £300 (not including spending money) I and a few other friends declined this, as we felt it quite expensive. Friend A feels she has to go though as she is bridesmaid. Friend B has now organised a second hen do for those who aren?t going abroad, a spa day which is likely to cost about £150 altogether. Friend A will also be going to this hen night. I?m quite frustrated with friend A, as last week she was tearful and saying she was so worried about paying her debts off, and this week she is telling me she plans to spend £500 (once you?ve included spending money) on this hen do. I know it?s up to her what she does, but I feel quite angry with her at the moment. To make it worse she doesn?t really want to go on the weekend abroad, as she won?t really know anyone bar friend B, but she feels she has to.
She?s such a lovely person, she loves to socialise i.e. going out every weekend, and she intends to carry on doing this. She also hates saying no to anything and will always got to everything she is ever invited to as she doesn?t want to let anyone down. I just can?t see how she can get control of her debts if she wants to keep socialising to this level. I feel bad for her because I really like to socialise too, but I know, because she has told me, that she can?t afford to carry on like this and it will push her further and further into debt. Once she?s made all her interest payments, she has no money left so extras like nights out often go on a credit card.
Most of me thinks it?s none of my business and I should leave her to do as she likes, but part of me is annoyed that she asked for advice, and seems to be ignoring it. She is such a good friend, I do adore her and hate to see her getting in trouble, but I?m not sure what I can do now.