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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Its not hard to get kids to school on time is it?

26 replies

Fernie3 · 10/01/2011 09:02

My 5 month old hasn't been sleeping very well lately waking up loads to feed and since she is breastfed it has been me doing all the waking up. My husband works from home and this morning said "dont worry you go back to sleep i will take them" great! First lie in for a long while. I went back to sleep. Woke up at nearly ten to nine and he is STILL getting the two older ones ( ages 6 and 4) dressed...school starts at ten to and it's at least a 20 minute walk ( no car).
WTF.
How hard can it possibly be???? Everything was ready, clothes ready, lunch ready what happened? So he has stormed off saying that they " wouldn't get ready" as though he expected them to present themselves at the door ready to go at half eight.

I mean I manage it every morning they have never been late and i take the two younger ones often as well (1 and 5 months)

It's not hard is it? Aibu to be mightiliy pissed off that their first late just happens to coincide with my first lie in since the new baby?.

OP posts:

coccyx · 10/01/2011 09:04

I'm with you.The fact that clothes and lunches were also ready makes it worse

ENormaSnob · 10/01/2011 09:05

Yanbu at all.

Don't worry about it though.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 10/01/2011 09:06

Unless he is a regular at it YABU....it's a fine art managing two tired kids in the morning. He would have done/timed everything differently to you.

I kow that this morning I was very tired... only hnd 3 hours sleep so DH helped me..I had to tell him what to do even though he has seen me at it for three years now. It took him 15 minuts to sliec an apple and put it in a container.

I am not saying it's unreasonable to be irked...but unless you told him what to do exactly then YABU to be mightily pee'd off.

Original poster

Fernie3 · 10/01/2011 09:10

All he had to do was pour the some cereal, get them dressed and leave though? Surely as a grown man that's fairly obvious?

I have to ask what the hell did your DH do to the apple that took him that long?

OP posts:

readywithwellies · 10/01/2011 09:11

He offered, that is a start. If you are pissed off with him he won't want to offer again. And for those of you going to go on about equality, I am just seeing the OP's situation as - she takes the dcs to school usually.
It can be difficult to get out on time, it takes practice for some people to manage the time and tasks. I find it difficult but that is (according to DP) because I am lazy. Probably accurate but part of my personality.
And there are four dcs, I only have 3 and the youngest is 3.
YABU to be mightily pissed off, you are YANBU to be slightly irritated. Don't let it spoil your day though

oftenpurple · 10/01/2011 09:13

Sounds like he just left the children to it and did something else (i.e. got his own breakfast, watched tv etc). Perhaps he didn't realise that children do need 'hustling' in order to get going. My DC need to be constantly reminded to eat, dress, put shoes on or we are late even though we have over an hour before we need to leave.

thekidsmom · 10/01/2011 09:14

I say let it go - just laugh about it over dinner.

How can it matter if they're late to shcool just once?

It sounds like it was far more important for your family for you to get some rest this morning than for the children to be on time to school

I speak as one who's DH has never really quite got the hang of getting anyone, including himself, anywhere on time. Or if he did, remembered to pick them up....

mommmmyof2 · 10/01/2011 09:18

I think it was nice of him to offer without being asked, I no it should not be a big deal but you no what most men are like they feel like they are doing you a favour so I guess he was just trying to be nice.

And as for getting kids to school on time I wish, apart from standing behind dd making sure she eats her breakfast and gets dressed there is nothing I can do to get her moving.

She is not sleeping at night so when it comes to the morning she is useless and then I get so fustrated. We used to be fine when she was younger not sure what happened!

Anyway I hope it has not spoilt your day too much as a lie in comes few and far between

MrsPresley · 10/01/2011 09:18

Fernie, you are used to getting the children up and ready with 2 younger ones. You have a routine your husband probably doesnt know what your routine is.

You say all he had to do was pour some cereal and get them dressed but what about doing their hair (especially if they are girls)and getting their teeth and face done.

I know I can do my daughters hair in a about 5 minutes but it will take my partner about 15 and even then it's not done right! As for breakfast, while I would be saying "come on hurry up, you only have 5, 10 or whatever minutes left to finish that, my partner would let her take as long as she wants, so I think you are being a wee bit unreasonable sorry.

BluddyMoFo · 10/01/2011 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HellonHeels · 10/01/2011 09:20

I have trouble getting myself to work on time with no children to worry about. Sounds like he just needs more practice, it takes time to work out a routine and timings.

tomhardyismydh · 10/01/2011 09:22

i think its just that he is not practiced at it. I woke dd up at 7.15 and she was still in bed at 8am. I had to physically dress her in her bed and walk her to the bathroom and then walk her downstairs. her dad has no idea this is what may be required some mornings, he would assume that dd would be in her room getting dressed.

BreconBeBuggered · 10/01/2011 09:22

Well, at least now he knows it's not just a matter of feeding and dressing himself and waiting for the DC to do likewise. He'll get it right next time. Or the time after that. Go easy on him; he'll probably get a hard time from the DC on the way to school if they aren't used to being late.

SecretSlattern · 10/01/2011 09:24

MrsPresley, my DH wouldn't even attempt to do DD's hair, partly because that's my "department" and also because her hair is wild and curly and she screams blue murder if you even so much as show her the hairbrush!

BreconBeBuggered · 10/01/2011 09:24

PS, don't think YABU to be annoyed, OP, but in this instance keeping a lid on it is probably the better option.

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 10/01/2011 09:28

yanbu. dh does things differently to me, and as atm i am 6days post baby, i have given morning school runs to him. but am struggling with not nagging. they havent been late yet, but still have a week to go

CameronCook · 10/01/2011 09:29

Fernie - you have a tiny baby and you're not getting much sleep so YANBU to be a wee bit peeved, however I would vent here and be nice to DH or he'll be reluctant to offer again.

GooseyLoosey · 10/01/2011 09:32

YANBU - Going against the prevailing view, but if dh works from home, he must have deliberately been shutting his eyes and ears for years to be so totally unaware of what the morning routine consists of. In addition, if he knows what time school starts, he should have been all over them for the 10 minutes before he needed to leave the house - no excuses really.

Ohforfoxsake · 10/01/2011 09:32

He needs more practice, that's all. Presumably he doesn't participate in the morning routine normal? When I had DC4 DH became a lot more involved.
Don't wait for him to offer, like he's doing you a favour (that's like fathers 'babysitting' their own children) if he's there, he needs to crack on with it.
Give him a chance though. he'll be better at it in a few days

WimpleOfTheBallet · 10/01/2011 09:33

Ferne...he's Australian...they seem to do everything in slow motion. He'll stand and look at the apple for a few minutes...then he'll look fo the slicer for anoher few...take a while deciding where to do the cutting...cut it....remove any pips etc. Then of course findng a container for it takes about 6 minutes...the placement of te apple within the container is a big operation too.

Blackletterday · 10/01/2011 09:33

Yanbu, dp told me to stay in bed the other day, I got up at 8:40 as I couldn't sleep and he had decided not to send ds1 to nursery . He hadn't even given him breakfast grrr, I did tell him I was pissed off and hustled him off to nursery.

ANTagony · 10/01/2011 09:33

He just needs practice. I'd suggest that he does all Mondays from now on to learn how its done!

If you can laugh with him about it you could turn it to your advantage and start each week off with a lie in.

Ohforfoxsake · 10/01/2011 09:34

And 3 years on he still does the school run every day - so yes, be nice to him! You might be onto a winner in the long term!

HaveAHappyNewJung · 10/01/2011 09:35

Hmm. Well it was definitely nice of him to try, and not worth getting cross with him this time.

But I agree... If you manage it every day then DH should be able to step in.

I don't buy this "but maybe he doesn't know what it's like" excuse - um, why the fuck not? Doesn't he ask about how your day's gone when he's not there? Surely he'd take notice of the occasional "OMG DH, school run was such a nightmare this morning..."

hmmSleep · 10/01/2011 09:40

YANBU, but perhaps he'll appreciate what you do every morning a bit more now.

A few weeks ago my Dh worked from home so he could collect Dd1 from school whilst I took Dd2 to the doctors for her 8 wk check. I got home to a very quiet house. Dh was still working upstairs, ds asleep on sofa and poor Dd1 was still waiting at school! I ran to collect her, not entirely sure why Dh thought he was working from home .

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