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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sharing alcohol at parties.

44 replies

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 08/01/2011 23:30

I was at a party tonight and one of the guests brought some bottles of wine but kept them by her chair and drank steadily from them all night. The rest of us who had brought drink had dumped it in the kitchen and just grabbed a glass or bottle of whatever was going.

AIBU to think this was a bit weird and rude?

OP posts:

LoopyLoopsIsNoLongerFestive · 09/01/2011 00:21

A friend of mine does this but she's allergic to most wines.

rockinhippy · 09/01/2011 00:45

a friend of a friend does this, for EXACTLY the reasons atswim2lengths mentions, she is an obnoxious lush alcholic

DH would also do it because he has expensive tastes in beer & it p's him off his beer always goes first & he's left drinking crap....I will usually stop him/threaten to show him up , as it IS very rude, but at some parties I can see his point & let him get on with it

jasper · 09/01/2011 00:52

odd and weird and rude.
Unless for medical reasons

atswimtwolengths · 09/01/2011 09:41

What medical reasons exactly insist on you having bottles of wine you can pick up for a fiver in the supermarket by your side, jasper?

LoopyLoopsIsNoLongerFestive · 09/01/2011 09:47

Allergies to certain preservatives, atswim.

pinguwings · 09/01/2011 09:48

Could it have been vegan wine? Or non-alcoholic?
If no real reason then yes it's bloody rude. Think that if I'd been there and had a few glasses, I would have asked her for a swig.

atswimtwolengths · 09/01/2011 09:53

Sorry, Loopy, I think you're trying to make excuses here. The OP was asked what kind of wine it was, and it wasn't a particular (eg organic) wine.

kittya · 09/01/2011 09:53

A few bottles? thats abit extreme. I have been known to take a couple of bottles and put them with everyone elses but open one of mine and keep it near me on the side, if its one I had my eye on in the offy.

Whats worse is those people that bring cheap crap and drink everyone elses decent stuff and still take their crap home!! I hate that.

LoopyLoopsIsNoLongerFestive · 09/01/2011 09:58

God no atswim, I think it is more likely to be that she is a selfish alcoholic, but I do have a friend who can only drink certain brands of wine, not necessarily the more expensive ones. That said, she'd never drink a whole bottle to herself, let a lone more!

JustAnotherNameChanger · 09/01/2011 10:03

I kinda do this - but I always take 2 (one red one white) bottles. I don't sit with the wine next to me (put it in the kitchen away from the other bottles) and in all fairness none of our usual circle drink red wine.
I do this because I suffer from Panic Attacks - I know that I can drink 3/4 of a bottle with out getting an attack and wont get a hang over (hangovers make panic attacks worse) - so I do this so I know exactly how much I drink.

SheWillBeLoved · 09/01/2011 10:04

It depends on the party in my experience for example on NYE I went to a party, took a couple of bottles of really nice wine, took them to the utility room which was doubling up as the bar area, and it was clear that it was a 'help yourself to anything you can see' type party.

Then I went to a party on Friday. Again took a couple of bottles of wine, but everybody seemed to be sticking to their own drinks even though they were all put together in the fridge, and were very occasionally offering a glass of whatever they were drinking to others. No big deal. I drank my wine and was pissed happy with that.

nikki1978 · 09/01/2011 10:10

Hmm depends. My friend does this but because she only drinks vegan wine so doesn't drink anybodies elses stuff when hers has gone.

twinkletweeter · 09/01/2011 10:17

Alcoholic and anxious she wouldn't get enough booze.

SantosLHalper · 09/01/2011 10:19

Plain rude. YANBU.

Piggles · 09/01/2011 10:48

I think it depends on the scenario to an extent. Though I don't think you are remotely unreasonable to find her behavior rude or weird.

I've been to parties where everyone brought several decent bottles, the hosts had also laid a fair bit on and there was no chance of anyone running out of nice things to drink, and it was a genuine 'drink whatever you find, there is plenty' sort of feeling.

In such a situation, hanging on to what you have brought with a deathgrip is really decidedly weird - and rude... and possibly indicative of issues with alcohol if she was hanging on to the bottles to ensure she got 'enough'.

However, I have also been to parties where a number of other people have brought cheap nasty booze, only to abandon it and go cruising for something better to drink... so in such a scenario, no way in hell am I putting down my yummy wine for them to slurp on when they were too cheap to bring something drinkable to add to the 'bar'.

It is also possible that she only enjoys a few types of wine, so if on arrival she noted that she was the only person to bring that kind of wine it isn't totally unreasonable of her to have kept it with her... though in that situation it would probably be polite to speak up: "oh, I only really like Merlot, and I seem to be the only person who brought some... shall I keep the bottles with me?" Still a bit odd, but at least it explains things and makes other people not think you are a rude alcoholic weirdo.

atswimtwolengths · 09/01/2011 13:11

But how many bottles? Would anyone drink much more than one bottle? I love a drink but the thought of lining up several bottles of wine to drink on my own makes me feel sick. And also, I'd think it was noted by others! (As it has been, quite reasonably.)

oneortwo · 09/01/2011 13:27

maybe at the last party she went to she left hers in the kitchen for everyone and took what was going and someone got huffy cause she finished "theirs" so she thought sod it I'll just drink mine this time then

I don't do this but am not a huge drinker and when I do drink I only like a few types, so don't really like pooling the booze and having to then drink rose which is always what seems to be left (yuck). I still do it, but do admire people who are brave enough to earmark theirs, especially if they're honest about being a booze snob or not like preservatives etc.

Saw someone do similar at a BBQ - brought her own salmon parcel and said she just didn't like eating BBQ burgers / sausages but enjoyed the BBQ atmosphere. Was well jealous when I was nibbling my crusty burnt burger!

NoFlashPhotography · 09/01/2011 13:31

Is it possible she may be anxious about people spiking drinks?

It is definitely odd behaviour nevertheless

bessie26 · 09/01/2011 13:59

A friend of mine will only drink certain wines as some bring him out in a rash! (he's not sure why yet, perhaps type of pesticides used?) so he would do this at a party.

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