To think BIL ex partner is wrong to expect him to keep paying maintainance for daughter after she is 18 if she goes to uni?

[sneezecakesmum]

Also for the bitch that is her mother to stay in the house they (BIL and bitch) own jointly if DD goes off to uni for 5 years (or commutes to local uni). BIL has been mentally abused for 20 years and deserves a bloody break!!!

Can't find any legal stuff on this and he is suicidal after bitch stole his bank card, took £2500 out, threw him out, changed the locks and wont give him any of his property until he signs the house over to her. Oh, and leaves the city hes lived in for 20 yrs.

At least he wasnt dumb enough to marry her.

£2-3000 quoted just to get his stuff back legally. solicitors dont u just love them.

The house is in joint names, but she made sure the mortgage was paid by her, while pocketing the money he gave her and 3 holidays a year. (yes, hes dumb)

Please stop calling her "the bitch". It detracts from the issue and makes it seem that you simply want to cause trouble, when perhaps you are looking for actual advice?

How did she put the mortgage into her sole name without his permission? When I bought ex out of the house we jointly owned, he had to sign about three lots of forms (like them, we weren't married). Ditto for the bills etc - iirc ex had to sign the letters advising them I'd be taking over the accounts. So how has she changed everything to her sole name? If she's forged his signature, I believe it's classed as fraud and could be a police matter.

Also, the law is different for couples who split up but weren't married, so he needs to get a decent solicitor quickly so he can start to get it sorted.

What are the police doing about the stolen money?

I'm not sure I follow- if the house is in joint names he has a claim on it. It doesn't matter whose account the money came out of to actually pay the mortgage if it's in joint names. I lived with someone about 10 years ago and our house was in joint names but he paid the mortgage from his account, and when we split he thought he had a right to the house. He didn't, but I did need a lawyer to sort it out. In the end I bought out his half.

Cuba. The house is in joint names after BIL bought out her ex husband who committed suicide after she harrassed him for years when he managed to escape from her. The mortgage payments (sorry not to make that clear) As the rule is pretty much you own what you pay for. Only found out about money today. She will have covered her tracks so she's got the money for a solicitor while he hasnt. he's got a low paid job and was denied legal aid. even the CAB have a massive waiting list for advice.

Sorry - its the mortgage and bill payments she put in her name with direct debits.

My DH has said he can give BIL £3000 for solicitors fee but bitch (sorry but she realy is) harrassed her husband for every penny but racked up £8000 legal fees in the process which BIL paid for.

I am so sorry for him as he is a nice, but soft guy, his DD said she wanted to stay with him but now her mum has taken her phone and closed down her facebook, so BIL cant even say sorry for leaving her.

Does he not care about dd education? Can he give the money direct to dd? Might be worth checking.

Can he do anything about registering a charge on the house with the bank or mortgage company? Or is it with the deeds of the house?

Not sure who or what it should be with sorry, sure somebody else on here will come along and know, but seem to remember that

Not sure whether or not it is the same if his name is on the property deeds though!

And make sure he starts trying to get as many bank statements etc as possible - just because one person paid for the bills and mortgage out of their account doesn't mean that the other person wasn't contributing too for other stuff so he needs to try to get his hands on other stuff as proof that he was contributing to the pot.

Is there a man's aid equivalent to Womens Aid that would be able to provide advice in these situations (not sure if womens aid would be able to provide some pointers given that your bil is in the same situation as the woman usually is IYSWIM)

Re bil not seeing daughter - is there any way that he could get a message to her - via a friend or sending a letter via school or waiting to see her at the school gates. If he's her father and the mother is causing problems he has as much right to see his daughter as his wife does, sounds like his dd wants to see him, there might be a school counsellor that would be able to lend a room for them to catch up one breaktime or something. Not ideal - but would at least allow them to make contact and work out 'what next'. Must be difficult for the dd too if she has to be at home with her mum but want her dad too. Can't see that mum would want your bil to have contact with his daughter but can't see either how she can legally stop it short of lying and getting a court order to stop it or physically locking the daughter in her house all day.

good luck to your bil in getting this sorted and good on your for helping him - sounds like he needs all the support he can get!

if he legally owns half the house, why can he not force a sale?

what am i missing?

sale cant be forced because DD is nearly 16

He should pay it directly to his daughter and bypass the mother

BIL had bills for goods in the house he bought including £2000+ on a new boiler but she has kept him out of the house since christmas, probably destroyed. He doesnt want to take sofas or anything in the house though as his daughter also needs them, so she is trying to leave him with nothing and get him to sign over the house. He is also going to contact CAB asap. But over the xmas and NY holiday nothing was open!

When things settle a bit he will try to get his older son to act as intermediary to meet DD. He darent hang around the school gates the b ** has accused him on facebook of liking little girls!!!

Sale of house cant be forced until child leaves education. DD will be going to college in sept. may be uni so perhaps still needs to pay though on v. low wage and needs to pay 1/2 mortgage to keep financial interest in house.

Thanks all

I think he should support his daughter through university.I don't know why money should go to his ex though.

Whatever you do OP, stay out of it and don't get involved with a court case or trying to help your BIL or be a character reference for him or whatever. You are obviously so completely and unobjectively poisoned against the so-called bitch that I'm sure you'll just make his case even worse. Then we'll all get to hear about whatever false accusations she makes against you too.

Though feel free to tell him to grow a) a brain (who leaves card and pin # in a drawer together? idiot) and b) some balls (why did he get with and stay with this woman if she was such a nightmare so as to cause her first partner to commit suicide?)

I feel sorry for the guy but he and she and the whole situation sound like a right mess to me. You reap what you sow I guess.

I'm pretty sure the maximum age is 21. That's what the old Family Allowance books used to say.

BIL should get some advice from CAB or solicitor to make sure. It might be a nice gesture for him to make a payment to his daughter to help her in her studies though, parents are supposed to be supportive and some help now could make all the difference to their relationship later on.