never to have felt the need for mummy friends

[beanlet]

Never got the "must go to NCT classes to make some mummy friends" thing. I have plenty of friends already, thanks. And what with a small baby and a busy career, I don't even have much time to spend with them. Besides, I'm perfectly content with my own company, thank you very much, and hanging out with DH and DS.

Am I missing something?

dunno if YABU now but when the kids are older it's nice to have friends with children the same age
you get to hang out with your friends, the children have fun together
what's not to like?

Totally NU. I have friends because I like them and enjoy their company not because we happen to have a child/children of a similar age.

I am friendly with the Mums at my DSs schools and we have on a occasion gone out for meals etc as a group which have been fun but I haven't really 'clicked' with any of them. My two closest friends are childless (although one is now pregnant). If fact I was worrying slightly in case I was 'dropped' when she has the babies (twins)if she did become one of those women who only mixes with other mother's. My children will be much older than hers (10 and 6)so it's not like they will be ready playmates.

I remember 20 years ago when the first out of our group had a child and we were all dropped like hot potatoes in favour of her new Mummy friends but seriously hoping that doesn't happen now.

Same here. Did NCT and of the 8 couples in our group, i made 3 very good friends who i have much more in common with than just having children. Other than that, i am quite content to stick with my other friends who i knew before DD was born. Suits me at the mo, althugh i guess things may change as she gets older?

I don't think for a moment you should be friends with anyone just because they have kids, but I did want to say why it can be great to be friends with people 'just because they had babies at the same time'. And mothers don't only talk about their kids!

I am preggers at mo for first time. I have lots of friends with babies/children as well as those with no kids. Regardless of that I'm looking forward to trying the whole NCT/baby group thing out just for the experience if nothing else.

Well.. isn't this a bit like saying "I never understood why people would socialise with people at work/in university as I have plenty of friends anyway and enjoy my own company?"

There is sometimes a sneering distaste of "mummy friends" on MN but the women who have children at the same time as you are just women. Some of them will want to talk colic, some feminism. Sometimes colic and feminism. Like on MN, in fact.

You don't have to make more friends, of course.. but it is silly to discount the possibility that your life could be enriched by meeting other people merely because of some sort of snobbery about what "mums" do.

i've not had a baby yet but if you don't make friends with people in ante-natal group or post-natally then who do see between 8am and 6pm monday to friday? or do you spend all that time alone with your baby?

i am relatively happy with my own company but i'd go mad spending all that time without any conversation at all and my DH and all my existing friends work full time.

and yes, it's like work friends. i don't NEED to make 'new friends' at work, but it's nice to have people to have coffee/lunch/post-work drink with and what's wrong with being sociable?

As the saying goes...NEVER SAY NEVER. We might see a different post from you in few months time!!! You might change your name by than!

Roffle at the idea that none of the other mums you might meet will want to talk about art/literature/politics/current affairs. You find plenty to discuss on these talk boards, presumably, and ... newsflash ... most of the people you are talking to are Mums!!! Go figure.

If you're happy with it - well, each to their own.

I like having other friends who are mums (I had and still have loads already, and have a career). It's good to share dilemas with people who really understand - like how to overcome school bus problems, or council wide changes that are a problem for us. And it's nice for the kids to have friends outside their school class - which kinda addresses what someone said about school being all lumped together (for your children that is!).

And I have the best laughs with my friends who have children. They know how bloody hard it can be juggling it all, so we can joke about it.

BTW, can't stand referring to yourself as 'mummy', it really grates.

I know ladies who are part of nct groups and they act so smug about it and jealously guard their little groups ( not all of them are like this obviously, but know a few groups like this ) and if you are not part of the 'circle' you are not invited or allowed to attend! Lol

I never had any specifically mummy friends when I had my son, as I had him younger than any of my friends and didn't go to groups and things, as I went back to work very quickly - but I have friends now who I have met through my son since he has gone to school and I am very close to 3 of them - it IS useful if you need reciprocal childcare occasionally, and as others have said - on occasion kids and parents get to socialise at same time which is fun.

My best friend is still childless and WITHOUT DOUBT was the most helpful and showed the most interest in my son and I when he was tiny though, and I still ask her advice about things relating to my son now. She was one of the few who used to give her Friday night out clubbing up and spend the evening at mine with a bottle of wine when my son was a baby and everyone else was busy doing fun things.

So in a rambly kind of way, I guess I can see both sides of this one.