Sorry more of a WWYD re Nursery

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

Sorry this is a long one!

Right, DS1 now 3, has been attending a large nursery since he was 10months. His younger brother a11 months, has just started there too.

DS1, age 3, has just moved up to a massive new stage room (74 children in a large open plan setting). I have had threads in MN before as I have had worries about the size of the nursery, but the 'baby' end has always been amazing so have stuck with it.

I knew DS 1 would be going up in Jan to this new room and if I am honest I knew I wouldn't like it, but he did, and so after talking to lots of friends who know if well professionally (its outstanding ofsted 'green' setting; practitioners go there to see good practice, attend courses etc. They are also a 'pioneering' setting, trialling new strategies etc), I though just see how it goes.

Anyway, DS has come home with some lovely new creative language! Mostly F**K
and rough and tumble injuries. The catchment area and the fact they are a SureStart setting means that his peer group is large and mixed, but again I felt that this would stand him in good stead for school life in general..... etc etc

But I know its not right for him. It is outstanding, just not for him. 74 is too big.

So have found a new nursery and are telling current nursery that DS1 will be leaving. They have a 1 month notice period which is fine, bit of a squeeze paying double fees but I should have made the decision sooner so that's my fault.

However I was very stupid and didn't know you can't move the EYG funding with you. So would need to pay an extra £600 for the term if he moves now.

I guess I have 2 choices.

1. He stays until 31st March.
2. He leaves after a month
3. He leave now and I pay £600 extra (not a great time for us to do this)
4. He leaves now and does less hours at new nursery until April when he gets his funding.

I worry how my current nursery will be about me taking him out, and want my baby to be well looked after as he will still be there until he can join DS1 when he is 2 1/2.

I have been so stupid! But I kept putting it off as I just wasn't sure what to do and having them at 2 different places and getting to work those mornings is hard enough.

WWYD! HELP!!

God, what a dilemma. £600 is a lot of money. Maybe 2 as a compromise if you think you can manage it?
I think waiting until March sounds like a no go for both you and him.
Keep a close eye on your baby re nursery days post ds1 leaving for a few weeks. I would imagine that it would all be fine as they sound almost like separarte nurseries in one but you never know.

can you not move him now it very unlikely eyg forms have been submitted as schools only went back last week but you would probably have to remove him from nursery 1 with immediate effect to be eligible to claim at nursery 2 have you got anybody who can help out for this week

Spot on pommedeterre they are quite seperate. To make it worse, thinking DS1 would be starting on Wed and we would ride out the months notice period, I added a lunchtime to my baby's day inorder that I could pick up DS1 before lunch from his new nursery and DS2 after (as baby would be sooo hungry going to pick up brother then getting home).

Yes I could get help this week, but what do I do Monday (he normally does Monday Tuesday all day and Wednesday morning). Call them? If they say no (strongly think they will as very by the book) what do I then do? Its so hard as I don't want to mess DS around and get him all confussed :(

just a couple of points

do not worry about baby- you loved nursery for older ds so no reason to think that it wont be good for baby (although is it worth moving bub as well knowing that it is not for you at 3?)

can ds stay for the months notice, thus avoiding double fees? maybe use some holiday between you and dp?

did you pay a deposit that you are due back? might help balance the books?

didnt know about the funding- seems odd to me but think that i would leave him where he is for a month and suck up the extra cost of funding( after all you have paid his fees to this point if you see what i mean, gutting though it is)

oh and sympathy re putting off decision- that is me to an absolute T

3 year old coming home with the f word though would be point of no return for me too!

Gah, have written a long reply and lost it ...I'll try again

Headcount day isn't till the 20th (I think, off the top of my head) so the nursery haven't been paid yet for your ds (they get paid based on children in attendance at HC). They will have most probably been paid an interim payment, but that's irrelevant as the LA can claw that back at final payment.

Can you speak to the nursery and come to some sort of arrangement to pay his months notice but leave before Headcount so that your ds can claim his early years funding at the new nursery?

There will be an la headcount day, whichever nursery he is in on that day will get the funding. Call the families information service and they will tell you. They vary by la- the sept one is usually about the 3rd week and January the same.

ask at nursery one if they have submitted eyg form most I know have not yet start him at nursery 2 on wednesday and relax about ds2 as they will not discriminate against him and it happens often just explain you felt you wanted to move him and give reasons

Can DS move down a room for notice period due to your concerns.

Thank-you risingstar Yes we did pay a deposit which may help.
I wonder if as the new nursery start back on Wed this week, if I should make this DS lasts day at current nursery and perhaps do a Monday morning, all day tuesday and a wednesday morning at the new nursery which is 1/2 day less than he would have done(somehow I worked this out to be £250 a month??). So we would have to pay this for a month as well as current fees, then next month I think we would be paying about £100 more than we would have done had we had the EYF. Hope my maths is right??! Its VERY ouch but its my fault not poor DS.

Its terrible though as he tells me how much he likes current nursery :( Feel like I am upsetting him and making us very poor in the process!

Headcount day hasn't happened here yet- try calling someone at your council as they can advise if you can move your money - you should be able to before headcount day.

I read on one website its 1st Jan which seems a really odd date!

onadietcokebreak they won't as the other unit is 0-3, so babies to think of etc.

1st of Jan is the date the term begins, not the Headcount date. It's usually (varies by LA) 2 or 3 weeks into term. It allows for changes of decision of where to place your child.

Ring the FEEE team at your LA.

I'm pretty certain that no LA has had there HC yet, which means your fine to move your ds and claim funding elsewhere. The only problem you have IMO is the months notice, which obviously you are obliged to carry out.

Sorry plonker what is the FEEE team??

I dont get it. You say he likes the bigger room even if it is 74 kids so why are you moving him?
is it just the fact he now mixes with surestart kids or is there some other reason

Maybe the fact he know says 'f*ck' and has come home with more bumps and scraps than OP is happy with?
Not being happy with nursery/childcare is such an instinctive thing and instincts are always to be listened to.

Sorry, FEEE is the 'Free Early Education Entitlement'. There will be a team (or a person at the very least) dedicated to administering the Free Early Education Entitlement (funding).

They will advise you as to when the Headcount day is, aswell as answer any other questions you might have relating to the funding.

What they can't do, is interfere with how the nursery conducts it's business as long as it's conducting it's business regarding the funding within the guidlines set out for FEEE.

know=now

Wow bad grammar

Great thank-you Plonker.

I am dreading telling them, I think I would feel better (not financially!) if he did start with everyone of the first day and hopefully the funding can be moved too.

I do feel bad moving him as he is happy, but he will settle after a while and I do think in the long term it will be better. I fully expect to feel like a totally rubbish mummy who has upset her child when he could stay.....but what can I do, I know its not quite right for him. Nothing to do with being a snob, but its very very large and some children are very very challenging. This isn't the case in the under 3's as there is no free funding and limited to 20 places. Its free choice all day, and thats great but DS tends to feel happier in a structured environment...although he will miss the massive freedom I think. On the plus side he gets a swimming and dance lesson included! Its so hard, I just hope I am doing the right thing.

I moved dd1 from the school where she'd gone to playgroup, nursery and reception to a completely new school for very similar reasons. The school was a 2.5 form entry and there were 75 children sharing one Foundation Unit. It was too big and too busy and too much for dd to handle.

I moved her to start Y1 in a smaller school. It was the best decision I ever made and was absolutely the right thing to do for dd. She is in her last year at primary now and can't remember ever being at a different school.

Your ds will be fine. Good luck

Thanks plonker....odd writing that!!
Please me around to hold my hand this week then!! I fully expect tears etc but like you say it won't be for long....fingers crossed!

How has it gone mary? Hope it went well.

I'm sure your DS will be fine. I've moved my DC's nurseries a couple of times now due to relocating (have felt extremely guilty each time) and they've been fine - kids adapt better than we give them credit for!

My DS was a little younger (2.5) when word came home from nursery that he'd had a time out for saying the 'F' word.

I was MORTIFIED .

I later overheard him saying 'book off' at home!

To this day I don't know where he picked it up from - I can only put it down to the fact that there were builders doing some work at the nursery at that time and the children were playing close to them

Beacuse of course my little angel DS would never say such an awful thing!

Oh and YANBU. You know what's best for your DC's - trust your gut instinct!