to want DS to 'drop' his new best friend??

[ellebelle3]

DS is just starting his 2nd term in reception, having recently turned 5. He is a very bright chatty child and has always had boundless energy. It has become apparent that his favoured friend at school has become one particular boy, and when together they are not good influences on each other. They are mainly silly together, but there is certainly a marked deterioration in his behaviour - rudeness and also occasional lashing out.
The other boys reportedly do not play with this boy as he is 'naughty' and I am aware that this is precisely what DS finds so intriguing / exciting. I know that we cannot really control who our children befriend once they start school, but I am just wondering if anyone else has any suggestions/tactics?

So you want your DS to cold-shoulder this other little boy like everyone else in the class already has?

I would just encourage other friendships so the current one doesn't become exclusive.

My son was thought of as the 'naughty' child because he was socially inept and would interrupt games etc. He needed some help and a friend.

YABU

They are 5. There is time to learn and grow, if he has found a friend he likes then good for him. If your child is rude then teach him better and he'll eventually share his wisdom with his friend. If everyone cold shoulders the naughty boy he'll never change. We're in a society and should encourage community spirit. I was taught we all grow together and weak links should be nurtured not ignored so they catch up.

The symptoms you describe sound pretty normal for this age and school stage tbh. I would be more likely to think it was a developmental stage than jump to blaming the new friend.

Behaviour takes a dive once school starts - it is not carved in stone of course but it happens a lot. Encourage a wide friend base because that is the healthy approach anyway and correct any behaviour you are unhappy with then see how things pan out for a while!

I always find this sort of thread, and they do come up, a bit sad.
My DD has a best friend, they are one of 4 children of their year in a composite class, and it appears very much so that DD is in charge.
As it happens, she is the louder of the two as her friend appears shy, but is not averse to suggesting things to DD.

I don't blame the friend for this at all, in fact I like her very much, but from the outside, DD is the bad influence, when in fact, they are as bad as each other!.

They are small children, let them make their own friends.

Like us children make friends because they like something ab out the friend, enjoy their company etc.. not sure even if it was a good thing to do how effectively you could break up their friendship in any case.. truthfully at that age, I'd just be very happy my son was making friends and let him off without trying to manage his friendships

YABU. They are only 5 and I think it's not as good idea to start interferring in your children's friendship. They are just starting out in the world and learning about social interaction etc etc.

You say yourself that they are mainly silly together. You seem to be listening to gossip and you don't seem to have witnessed anything too dreadful yourself. I think it's unfair to blame this child for bad behaviour in your own child. It's like you're looking for excuses to dislike him.

I don't particularly like my elder DS's BF (they're 10). I don't like BFs behaviour either but DS knows how I expect him to behave so whilst he may be impressed in some of the things his BF does he doesn't follow suit (and to be honest the behaviour isn't major or anything more cheeky than naughty or rude. I just don't happen to like it)

I remember my Mum trying to engineer my friendships and it really doesn't work. She didn't like my BF at secondary school. My BF wasn't naughty just quite loud and chatty but my Mum didn't like that. She much preferred another girl who was a bit more seen and not heard type. She would invite this girl to tea all the time but not my BF. It didn't work. 20 years down the line I'm still very close to BF (oddly I'm now the loud chatty one and she's much more 'sensible)!!