to be frustrated about looking young?

[Gracie123]

Yes yes, I know I should be flattered, blah blah...

This isn't a brag, as I don't think I'm considered particularly pretty, but just young.

I've recently been ID'd and refused sale for vanilla essence, a vegetable knife and on new years eve a bottle of wine.

I'm nearly 30. DH is a year and a half younger than me, but has on more than one occasion been mistaken for my dad.

I wouldn't care so much, except that DH is in a job where we live on site and it's sort of a lifestyle, but when talking about promotion etc... he is frequently told it will be a few more years based on the fact that we are too young and people wouldn't be able to take us seriously. We have in fact been told this by people who took on the job role younger than us, but just looked more mature.

It's really starting to frustrate me, as we don't dress immaturely and have always conducted ourselves with professionalism, but it seems we won't be going anywhere in a hurry because I don't look the part, despite doing my best! Colleagues (with the kindest intentions) say that we will be perfect for the job role, when we are a little bit older.

I get so irritated with people saying 'oh I'd love to look a bit younger' when they have no idea what it's like to be told that you can't be respected and taken seriously!

i know exactly how you feel ive been mistaken so many times for either dd1's big sister or dd2's nanny! refused paracetamol and nurofen as i didnt have id and iam 28. people always think me and my much younger sister are twins and while i can see that this would be flattering to some people its wearing a bit thin now and ive developed a habit of blushing when buying med/alcohol in anticipation of being asked for id which only serves to make them assume even more that im younger!

My fecking heart bleeds for you!

I too look young. There are certain attitudes and behaviours that come with being older though and you can increase your gravitas by using them to your advantage.

Speak slower and more deeply. Speak when you have something to say. Smile a small amount and appear warm without being gushing. Younger people tend to be more bouncy and like the sound of their own voice, so speak less.

Dress slightly older, put studenty clothes away and then get them out again in your forties. Don't wear fashiony make up, not too much of any make up.

Carry a proper hand bag. Long cardigans are your friend, young people don't wear them.

I can pass for 25 if I want to, however I can also look mid 30s by doing the above. I'm 38.

I don't think that's a good enough reason for being turned down for promotion...in fact I think there may be a law against that. Have you looked into it?

Re alcohol and knives etc...it's a 25 policy, so in a few years it probably wont affect you.

when i went to ds hearing test the doctor asked how i was coping as a teenage mum, did i get lots of help etc, turned out she thought i was 16!

I know how you feel too. I seem to have aged a lot recently though and don't get it so much.

I did get IDed last year for one bottle of Vodka in a £100 food sshop (it was Christmas). I didn't have the DC with me though. I am 33.

I had a funny one a couple of weeks ago where the young lad on the till asked me if I was over 16 when buying party poppers. He was joking. At least I hope he was, as I had both DC with me and DS1 is 7.

I know that when DS1 was little people looked at me like some kind of teenage mother and talked down to me and I really didn't like it. I was 26 when I had him. Hardly a gymslip Mum. Not that it would be any excuse to talk to someone like that anyway.

It can be a pain, when I was 24 and had DD people would make rude remarks about teenage mums.

When people came to the house they would knock on the door and ask if my DM was in.

At work someone asked to see the manager, I told them I was the manager and they said no you are not you are a little girl.

But believe me it gets better now I am nearly 50 I can live with people thinking I am in my thirties.

Meant to mention that it does not necessarily improve as you get older. My Mum has just turned 59 but doesn't look anywhere near that, is often mistaken for early 40's. She worried that people will think she had her DC very young when she tells them how old we are.

Laurie - Problem is I'm doing all those things! I wear long cardigans all the time and I never wear shorts skirts or teenagey stuff. I have a beautiful leather handbag and two children in two at all times!

I don't have any piercings (except my ears, one in each and I usually wear studs) and make-up is always minimal (a little blush and mascara, lip gloss if we're going somewhere fancy )

I probably do smile too much, but being miserable probably wouldn't do me much good for work relations, surely? I'm definitely going to try the speaking slower part.

Colleagues have said that once they get to know me I am obviously much older than I appear, but it doesn't stop people making assumptions when they first see me.

By the way, you only have to be 16 to by vanilla essence

And yes, the postman has asked on more than one occasion if my mum is home. Fortunately we know him now, so he has stopped doing that.

At a staff social somebody asked me what universities I was going to apply for...

Stop bragging

this is irritates me too! i'm just under 26 dh is 34 and we have 3 children.
i have plenty of comments and remarks about "oh you don't look old enough" "really they are all yours?!"

i brush it off. hubby obviously being older doesn't have the problem of yours OP but must be so frustrating!!

Yeah, the comments are annoying, but it's the fact that it is holding us back from our dream job that is so frustrating. I know we'd be really good at it (now I am boasting ) but we won't be given a chance until I get some wrinkles.

I feel like buying a sun bed and living under it...

Aren't Lauriefairycakes suggestions interesting?

I'm particularly intrigued by the "young people are more bouncy" observation.

I'm guessing it has a lot to do with lack of experience, the implication being that young people hurl themselves at life, in search of experience. By the time you're in your late thirties, you've clocked up a lot of experience/response to environment, hence being less bouncy. Does make it sound as though life = being hit by a falling wall.

I'm 38 and last year was refused wine in tescos(challenege 21 and didnt have any id on me) and id'ed for beer in a local corner shop(luckily had id on me that time)

forgot to add thet I FUCKING LOVE IT!!!

Oh, I would happily do without a bottle of wine if it meant I looked 20.

Santas - I'm not sure the remarks you're getting mean you look younger than you are. 25 is young to have 3 children nowadays.

I'm sure I will too when I'm a bit older. Right now -

YANBU - it must be very frustrating.

I'm intrigued as to what job your DH does where he has to look more mature. Surely it is down to whether he has the capabilities.

I still get that (am 34) though not as often anymore.

it was hard in my job, because people tended to underestimate me (not anymore, I have proven myself).

now I am secretly happy that my younger sister in her mid twenties looks older than me.

Boarding school. Staff are worried that parents wont be able to take us seriously.

fairly recent photo of me:
www.mumsnet.com/Profile?nick=Gracie123&photos=p

I look more than 16, right?

whoops here is the link

16 ? you look more like a couple of days old, - I see your problem.