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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say monsters dont exist

37 replies

ssmile · 08/01/2011 10:06

My DD3.5yrs has always had trouble sleeping. The last few weeks have been particulary bad. Her imagination is very active she wakes up from 11.30pm onwards saying the monsters are coming to get her. Her funnny dreams coming out her eyes. I've tried to reassure her that its pretend and they cant hurt her, but she would rather stay awake than go back to sleep. If I put her in my bed she will go back to sleep but its not a solution for us as we have baby2 on the way now. Anyone got any good ideas that could help reassure her. Currently we try sleeping on the floor next to her bed to help which is hit and miss.

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DrSeuss · 08/01/2011 10:15

Monster spray is necessary here. An old cleaning spray bottle, well washed, water, lavender water or similar as the nice smells are repellant to monsters, glitter or sequins as the shiny things frighten them. Apply to doors and windows before bed. A spell from Mummy that keeps away monsters or you will zap them works well alongside this. Maybe a wand for her to get rid of them in the night if they try to get in so that she doesn't need to wake anyone.
Crazy but it works. You just need to play your part with conviction!

MorticiaAddams · 08/01/2011 10:16

We have a couple of friends who had success with this.

One bought their child a dreamcatcher and explained how it worked.

The other found a toy giraffe which had big eyes and said that it was guarding her with it's big eyes and keeping watch for monsters.

MorticiaAddams · 08/01/2011 10:17

DrSeuss that's brilliant, I love the idea of monster spray. Smile

AlistairSim · 08/01/2011 10:17

I have a giant invisible shark that protects the whole household from all sorts of ghouls and monsters.

Original poster
ssmile · 08/01/2011 10:18

Thanks for the ideas will try. Iwasnt sure if this made them more 'real' I did try explain it was pretend like play time but felt real to her didnt want to 'belittle' the experience for her. But I like the idea of the spray bottle and lavender will give it a try.

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activate · 08/01/2011 10:19

yes I think you are

validate the monsters and teach her how to get rid of them - magic word or monster spray

you aren't going to convince her there's no such thing as monsters - children know better - and once you invalidate monsters what are you going to do about tooth fairies and Santa clause

FingonTheValiant · 08/01/2011 10:19

I think saying they don't exist doesn't work (ime anyway). I had terrible nightmares as a child, was always scared, and that's the line my parents took. It didn't work, I thought they were lying to that I'd go to sleep.

I think monster fighting might work better, I know it would have for me :)

Smithagain · 08/01/2011 10:19

We have a cuddly elephant that can spray sleepy juice from its trunk. It also repels monsters.

activate · 08/01/2011 10:19

I would add that you need to teach her something she can do - not do something for her - so if there's a magic word she must shout it out

FingonTheValiant · 08/01/2011 10:20

Belittled is exactly how I felt, much better to use a spray and a guardian toy I think.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 08/01/2011 10:21

My 2 know just how brave their Mum is and that I absolutely will not allow monsters to be in our house under any circumstances Grin

Original poster
ssmile · 08/01/2011 10:22

Just had my DH in stitches as he said ohh we could get a new wand in the £1 shop for her today. I then remeber before xmas she had been pestering me for a particular wand they sold but I had forgotten that it made a loud 'terwing' noise when waved about. "er yes said my DH just WHAT we need at 1am! Derrr" think this pg2 is really starting to effect my brain cells already :o

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Original poster
ssmile · 08/01/2011 10:25

Thanks I know whe will respond to 'magic' she loves pretend so I think you are right to get me to get her to do something rather than do it for her. Gives her control back over something that she is finding really scary. and she SO loves being in control "I know mummy!" is they key phrase at the moment.

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purepurple · 08/01/2011 10:25

But they do exist, the same way that imaginary friends exist for some children.
I remember when my sis was avery small toddler and she was terrified of monsters. I was about 10/11 at the time and remember telling her some story about how the monsyers had all climbed up a ladder to the sky but somebody had taken the ladder away and now they were all trapped and couldn't hurt anybody.
It worked and this was the moment when I realised that I was going to spend my working life with small children. 30 odd years later, and that's what I am still doing.
I love the idea of monster spray. I think that the monsters are children's emotions/thoughts/feelings that they don't understand and can't yet deal with. Give children a way of coping with them, such as the spray and they should be banished.

DrSeuss · 08/01/2011 10:26

The spell works well when you realise that the monster spray is in England and you are in Spain!

Original poster
ssmile · 08/01/2011 10:30

Am off to the £1 shop this morning for a pink spray bottle and magic wand. Fingers Crossed it helps, just as we make progress with one aspect of her sleep another comes along and undoes our hard work. Hope this works, anything is worth a try. Many thanks for the advice and smiles this grey morning.

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Rocket100 · 08/01/2011 10:34

I don't mean to hijack, but I wanted to say thanks for this thread. My 7 year old has recently just started with the monster thing, we tried the spray but she says it doesn't work anymore. May try the wand/spell/guard toy. Thanks again.

Original poster
ssmile · 09/01/2011 19:17

An update from my ever smart DD. We had been to the £1 shop and purchased a silver spray bottle and red fluffy cloth which became the monster mat by her door (its will tickle their toes mummy). We then sprayed the room together. I thought it had worked until 2am but no after resettling for 20mins she was then up 3hrs. In the morning I asked her did the spray work, "yes mummy on the monsters but not on the aliens". Doh! Needless to say the spray has been upgraded tonight to buy 1 get 1 free monster & alien spray in 1 handy silver bottle. I hope it works as I am getting rather tired of endless broken nights again....

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CeliaFate · 09/01/2011 19:20

I used to look under the bed, shout "Right, you lot - OUT!" Then open the window and pretend to throw them out. DD used to wait on the landing, too scared to look bless her. It worked though.

DastardlyandSmugly · 09/01/2011 19:57

Similar here. DS has a picture of an orange dinosaur on his wall which we told him said 'rah' and scared away any monsters.

poshsinglemum · 09/01/2011 20:02

I'm just going to tell dd that there's no such thing as monsters but there are such nice things as tooth faries and Santa. No biggie. Why frighten them?

poshsinglemum · 09/01/2011 20:03

But op- yanbu and all of these tricks are brilliant. will try them. Children are aware of monsters from a much earlier age than I imagined.

Antalya1 · 09/01/2011 20:06

When ds1 was little I had a similiar problem, so one night I gave him a teddy hot water-bottle thingy that heated up in the microwave and told him that not only would it make him feel cuddly and warm but it was also a magic warning sysem that kept all ghoolies away, amazed that seemed to work..until I had to cope with the zebras hiding under his bed!!

Original poster
ssmile · 09/01/2011 20:08

I tried the rational there are no monsters etc talk several times. I thought just like you did. However it just didnt work she was sitting in bed shaking, wimpering crying she thinks they are real hence why we are now going down the magic spray route. I didnt want to 'validate' them but she much happier having the support from us rather than the 'they dont exist speech'. Its hard all kids respond differently I just want her to sleep better and feel happier about it.

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Littlepurpleprincess · 09/01/2011 20:08

DS is the same. HIs daddy catches monsters and keeps them locked in our wardrobe you know. Monsters are terrified of Daddy. Wink

This has the added bonus of keeping DS out of our wardrobe, where we store xmas prezzies at a certain time of year....

He does make me laugh though. He sits up in bed and says "the damp things are in my room!", DAMP THNIGS???? WTF?

The Owl Who Was Afraid Of The Dark is a really lovely book that says why dark is good. It help DS a bit.