Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to go back to work when DD2 is only 4 months old

29 replies

Sunflowergirl2011 · 07/01/2011 20:54

DH and I decided when our oldest child was born that i would stop working. He is 2 and was BF to 9 months. I am (reasonably) happy with this arragement and financialy don't have to go back to work (I know i'm very lucky in this respect). I have recently been contacted by an ex collegue to see if I am interested in a role with someone she knows in a new business. Its only 1 or 2 days a week and I have good childcare (my mum) I can use. I have no qualms about leaving my older child. BUT .... my younger child is only 4 months old. This feels too young to leave her, even with my mum. I'm pretty sure that if I do take the job that will mean the end of breast feeding for DD. What do you think? And would stopping BF at this age be bad for my daughter. Thanks for your opinions!

OP posts:

snowmama · 07/01/2011 20:57

I went back to work when my DC's were 4 and 5 months. I expressed at the office and did night feeds until they were both 7 months. Even if you did stop - 4 months is a good length of time.

Childcare is key so if you are happy with that - then it is very feasible. Good luck with your decision.

LoveRedShoes · 07/01/2011 20:58

Why the end of BF - can't you pump and build up stock in the meantime?

Serendippy · 07/01/2011 20:58

Oh Sunflower girl, do you know what you have done?

If you want to go back to work, if it will be good for your prospects in the long term and if you have happy with the childcare in place, go.

If you, and that's you not anyone else, think she's too young, you are determined to continue BF and you think this would end it then don't go.

TheArmadillo · 07/01/2011 21:01

I've just gone back to work and my youngest is 5 months old (is formula fed though). Forr me I;ve done it for my mental health.

I think going back to work can be a positive thing. And if you have childcare you are happy with then all the better.

WRT bf could you express or mix feed?

Bonkerz · 07/01/2011 21:01

I will be going back to work when my new baby will be 17 weeks old. DC will be going to nursery for 6 hours a day 4 days a week. I have to do this. Im have 11 weeks off before the birth and have to be back in September because the 3rd year of my degree starts in October and i need to be settled at work to begin study.

FabbyChic · 07/01/2011 21:05

I went back to work full time when my youngest was five weeks old, a case of needs must.

Original poster

Sunflowergirl2011 · 07/01/2011 21:15

Thanks for the responses so far. Its useful to hear everyones experiences. Just to be clear, I would never judge anyone else for doing what is right for them and their family, just need advice on what I should do in my situation.

Serendippy - what have I done??
Love red shoes/ Armadillo - based on how much i can express at the moment/how much time I will be able to spend expressing at work - I don't think expressing/mix feedin will work?

OP posts:

BarbieLovesKen · 07/01/2011 21:21

Of course your not being unreasonable - once you want to and would enjoy it - absolutely - it'll be good for the whole family. Also it is only 1 - 2 days. Not a lot!. How lovely your LO will be with your mum too. Sounds like a lovely all round situation.

Stop with the doubting yourself/ wondering if your reasonable/ unreasonable. Do what makes you and your family happy and what feels right and your arent going far wrong.

Serendippy · 07/01/2011 21:24

From my experience, people asking for genuine advice end up being abused for 'abandoning their children so young' or for 'taking the easy route of staying at home'.

I hope you make the decision that's right for you.

earwicga · 07/01/2011 21:24

As long as you and your mum are happy with this then go for it.

curlymama · 07/01/2011 21:28

Have you thought about trying to bf just at night time. I know that works for alot of people and if bf is important to you, it's worth a try. introduce bottles soon though, I left it too late with ds1 and it was awful trying to get himto take a bottle. He never really did in the end.

I went back for half a day a week at 5 months and dc stayed with my Mum. It has set them up with a lovely relationship, it's nice for GP's and GC to have some time regularly without you around.

Doramustdie · 07/01/2011 21:29

It's amazing how much easier it is to even consider going back to work second time around. Go with your gut feeling, you obviously think it could work, have great support etc. I think personally, do it. If it doesn't work out quit. Then at least there are no what ifs hanging over you! Congrats tho you must be very sought after! Good luck.

onepieceoflollipop · 07/01/2011 21:32

do what is right for you and your family.

If you need/want to work for financial reasons or any other reason at all that is important to you and your family then do so.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

(I would also advise that if you have friends/family in rl that may have negative advice to give, you may want to avoid them/ignore them for a little while!)

NacMacFeegle · 07/01/2011 21:33

I went back at 6 weeks the first time, and continued BF with one FF on work days until she was 13m old. It's not impossible.

DS1 was 13 weeks, and managed to continue to BF to 18 months y reversing day/ night feeds.

If you have good childcare, and you want to do it, then you should.

thisisyesterday · 07/01/2011 21:35

ok.. my honest opinions:

if you feel she is too young, then don't do it.
you don't need to do it, and there will be other opportunities when she is older.

It won't necessarily mean the end of breastfeeding, but to continue you would need to express at work. While this is do-able, some women do find it hard and thus it may lead to the end of breastfeeding

will stopping BF be bad for her? in as much as formula is not the "optimal" food for a baby it would be "bad". the chances of course are that she would be fine. But she would not be getting all the immunity stuff from you etc etc.
I guess the way I would view it is that breastfeeding is good for her, and it would be a shame to stop that

You know it just depends on how you feel about it I think.
Personally I couldn't have left any of mine at 4 months old. I just couldn't.
But only you know whether this will work for you and your family

All I will say is, if you are unsure it may be best not to. Because if you regret it you can never get that time back, if you stop breastfeeding it's not easily reversable.... you need to be really sure it's the right decision for you.

LoveRedShoes · 07/01/2011 21:36

What better than having your mum there for childcare. I personally didn't want to work while my DCs were young, but will not judge someone who does at all. I can perfectly understand someone wanting to get back into the workplace, especially if they have good childcare sorted. Both routes involve hard work!
If you are keen to keep up the BF, but can't express enough, how about doing the BF first thing in the morning and then last thing at night?
I know that both me and a couple of friends did this for two or three months when winding down the BF, and my body just caught up to producing milk at the right times. It also helped to decrease the flow during the day, as a means to stopping the BF, if that makes sense.

narkypuffin · 07/01/2011 21:36

It's your choice and you're the only one who knows what's right for you. I'm sure with in-family child care and established feeding that you'll be able to carry on BF if you want to.

There's nothing wrong with leaving your baby in good hands to do 1/2 days work- you'll probably get agreement from the most pro SAHM and WAHM on that.

The only thing that counts is how you feel. Would it be possible to do a trial period of a month or so, so that you could stop if you find it's not right for you?

cluttered · 07/01/2011 21:36

If you can still do morning and night feeds and it's only 1-2 days per week you are working you may not find that your milk supply drops that much so you may only need to FF while DD2 is in childcare and you could still BF throughout the other days so wouldn't make much difference at all to your DD in terms of the milk she receives.

I went back full time when DS2 was 4 months and initially I expressed twice daily at work but it dropped to once/not at all some days after a few months and I still got to 6 months EBF and in fact after weaning to 11 months before he had any milk that wasn't expressed BM at all. I didn't manage to express much at work because let-down was a problem but I built up a supply for the childminder to use by expressing at the same time as he was feeding on the other side. I even went away for work for 2 days when DS2 was 5 months, just pumping a few times to relieve discomfort, and still managed to resume EBF without much problem. Do you know if your 2 days would be together because that might cause more problems than if they were separate?

jmc112 · 07/01/2011 21:43

I went back when my baby was 6 months and he's still having one BF a day at 18 months. For 1/2 days a week, mix feeding on those two days then BFing the other days is very viable.

porcamiseria · 07/01/2011 22:04

1-2 days is nothing, you can always express does not mean end of BF

think of our american sisters, christ they get the placenta out, stitch them up, then back in the office!

BrandyAlexander · 07/01/2011 22:10

I went back to work when dd was 4 months. I breastfed her until she was a year old. Expressing a couple of times a day in the office not great fun but was manageable!

littlesez · 07/01/2011 22:15

I couldn't go back that early but i have only had one baby. I tried to return to work at 7 months and couldn't do it after 2 days realised it was too soon for me and then waited til 12 months. I was very ready by then and happy at work.

sorry thats irrelevent i suppose im just saying if you are ready then go for it and if your not then don't. I would def go with your heart on this one. It is hard to say whether BF would end, 1-2 days is probably very managable to express for.

1-2 days doesnt sound a lot but its a long time to pine for if tahts what would happen x

Ivette · 07/01/2011 22:16

if you feel she is too young, dont do that. I personally would wait a year or 2 but its your life.

Dansmommy · 07/01/2011 22:17

I was back at work full time when all of mine were around 5 months. I formula fed after the first few days, though, so feeding wasn't an issue.
My 3 children are happy, healthy and well adjusted.
Do what's best for your family!

Dansmommy · 07/01/2011 22:19

I'm always amazed at people who say they 'couldn't' go back to work early. Believe me, if the mortgage depended on it, I think you'd find you could.

Flip

1 2