To expect DH to control DD while I am working?

[WimpleOfTheBallet]

I work from home...DH is unemployed atm...I have to do a telephone interview and DD is satnding outside the office door screaming and growling...because she wants me.

I think DH should be able to distract her effectively whilst I earn the fricking cash! I am now Mumsnetting until she is taken away...I'm not going to instruct DH on what to do which is what I have done in the past...we hve 2 dds of 6 and 2...so he should be practiced enough right?

He KNOWS I have to phone a client...what does he think I am DOING right now??

Wimple - your DH has a job - being a SAHP. Does he need to be reminded that right now, that is his job. The fact that you are in the house is neither here nor there.

I agree Wimple. I've lived with 2 men, one claimed he just didn't notice things that needed doing/putting away and "needed telling", or in other words just absolved himself of any responsibility.

The other kept an immaculately clean and tidy house and had a meal on the table every night for the 6 months when he was unemployed and I was working full-time.

Gnome...why would he not need to be reminded? WHY? Is it somehow crap for a man to be a sahp?

Thank you Mutt...of course it's relevant.

Why is this a 'man' thing? My two year old dd used to scream and scream for her daddy when he was working in his office, as she wanted his attention and she only had boring old mummy to entertain her. It's hard to be 'off-duty' within your own home. Mine used to go in when he was half-way through a phone-call, I'd be cooking and I'd have to dash in and retrieve them.

Of course, he just has to get on with it, though, and just remove her and play with her. But it's not a male/female problem when one parent is not available and the two year old simply doesn't know that and wants to go to them.

The difference here, is, as Mutt alluded to, that the SAHP thing isn't his choice atm. I agree OP that he needs to learn to manage this, and it is clearly stressful for both of you.

Any chance of working outside the house, Wimple? I presume not

Wimple - not sure where you got being a SAHP is somehow crap for a man out of my post. What I was trying to get at was that he does have a job. My DH was a SAHP very successfully for many years when DCs were small but key was his attitude was that this was his job. He facilitated my being able to work.

I have worked from home throughout DCs' lives. Part of DH's job was making sure that the DCs were quiet when I was on the phone.

I'm agreeing with you - your DH should be making sure that your DCs dont disturb you when you are working. If that means taking them out then so be it. What it does mean is that it is his job.

I agree with JamieLeeCurtis that having a partner working from home is tough, and not the convenience-fest that others might imagine.

It's always been this way for us and it is very hard to know, when DC are challenging and the jobs are piling up faster than you can deal with them, that upstairs sits an adult listening to iPlayer and having a cup of tea.

Somthing like bringing in the food shopping while looking after toddlers is so hard to do when you know that an extra pair of hands is just up the stairs.

However, it is crucial that the person who is on childcare duty behaves largely as if the other were simply not there. The other person is at work. Distractions lead to slower productivity, which in the end means longer working hours, which means the situation drags on and on...

It is helpful if the homeworker keeps set hours of work. That way the person doing the childcare knows when it is okay to start handing over, letting kids go upstairs, etc.

It also avoids the homeworker sneaking off to their desk at random times to visit Mumsnet under the noble guise of "work"

Try telling your partner that, if you can be completely free from distraction, you can get whatever it is finished by, say, 4:30pm. However, if you are disturbed all the time, he'll be stuck with DC until 6pm!

Wimple, as a homeworker I have every sympathy!!! I posted a similar thread some time ago.

It's especially bad during school holidays for
me as the kids are at home & get bored.

Actually my partner is worse than the kids for it. She will often burst through the door of the study and say "Oh you are on the phone.....can you just....."

Then ofc she gets the hump when I hold my hand out to say "shush!" Obviously I can't just say sush as I am on the phone to a customer!!! Aargh!

My personal favourite is when you have to be all serious and WW3 starts outside the study door or when my son decides the best place to play football (indoors) is outside the study!

ARGH!

I once had to run to the bottom of the garden whilst my DC fought...I could see them chucking one another around through the French windows...had to ignore them.