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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed at the school for graffiting my DT's new hats?

38 replies

queenofallshesurveys · 07/01/2011 10:33

I have DTs aged 4, who have just started at a new school 3 days ago. Part of the uniform is a white baseball hat which they have to wear all year round if they want to play outside (we live in Hong Kong so it is a necessary rule out here as the sun is very strong). The hats are clearly named with each DTs name on the inside lable. Today, both hats came home with each DTs name written in thick black magic marker in inch high letters right across the peak of the hat! On one of them all the letters have bled so it looks all fuzzy and is hard to read anyway. I am really pi**ed off! Not only have they labelled our kids for all to see, (which makes them stand out even more as if being a twin did not draw enough attention to them), they have made the hats look really ugly and odd, not to mention the fact that they have damaged our property. The hats were bought new 3 days ago and cost the best part of a tenner each. No other children have their names written like this on their hats. My DT are not identical, and are really quite easy to tell apart, so I feel this was an unnecessary step, and I also feel the school should make a bit more of an effort to learn which DT is which, rather than (literally) labelling them. If they had asked me first, I probably would have thought about it, and said no, or at the very most, written their names in small letters along the side of the peak, rather than emblazoned in magic marker across the front! GRRRRRRR, am so annoyed! Angry I am tempted to ask the school to replace the hats, but is that being a bit too over the top about it? We've only been at the school for a few days, and I really want to get to be part of the wider school community and don't want to become labelled as the nutty lady who complained about somthing not worth getting het up about who should therefore be avoided at all costs. So, AIBU or am I justified in asking for replacement hats?

OP posts:
queenofallshesurveys · 08/01/2011 01:23

I was surprised too Iloveitwhen! Good job I wasn't posting anything embarressing or incriminating! As you point out, they manage to tell them apart when they are hatless. I am going to try washing the sodding hats to see if it comes off, then going to see the deputy on monday (and will be charming and friendly throughout as don't want to blow it up out of proportion in RL, I just do that on MN Grin). Such a great sounding board before committing yourself to action, thanks to everyone for all the feedback.

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queenofallshesurveys · 08/01/2011 01:40

by the way Lisascat, I've not seen anything about your mum on here, so you can sleep easy. not that I would breathe a word anyway, what happens on MN stays on MN Wink

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ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 08/01/2011 01:45

it really is a great sounding board, as painful as it is to see a huge list of YABUs it is far less painfull than making a big old arse of yourself in RL only to realise later that night that, yes, you were being a dick, but you have to see it through now Grin

Firawla · 08/01/2011 01:49

yanbu!!! that is so rude of them to do, i would be so annoyed if it was my dc. if it was over here i would definitely say complain but don't know how it is in hk if you will be considered weird etc, but i would not be happy to keep sending them in the hats without saying anything, so at the least i would probably get a new one and warn them don't write on their hats again.

queenofallshesurveys · 08/01/2011 01:58

I'll see if it comes off in the wash, but if not, I'll buy them new ones as they look terrible and I don't want them standing out so much, but I'll def make sure the teachers know not to do it again!

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marcopront · 08/01/2011 04:48

Are there many other children new to school? Their class teachers might know their names but when they are outside wearing hats it might be harder for the staff who don't know them to call them by their names.
I think it is just about them being new and wanting everyone to know their names and nothing to do with them being twins.
I would let it go and see what else happens.

whatdidIJUSTsay · 08/01/2011 05:29

no, DT1 is the only new boy in his class, DT2 has one other new child in their class, but it is a girl so they can easily be told apart. Why could they not just have worn a name badge or something until people had got to know them? Failing all else, why can't they just ask the boys their names?

LisasCat · 08/01/2011 08:57

You have embarrassing and incriminating things I don't know about? I shall ply you with wine when I see you!

For what it's worth I think the twins are no more difficult to tell apart than, for example, two women wearing headscarves. DD has a couple of twins at nursery that it took me a while to differentiate (because whenever I saw them they were running around like highly charged explosives - I never had a chance to identify the differences), but the idea of their mum labelling them is fairly ridiculous. The nursery workers seemed to have no problem working it out. It's no more of a challenge than having to learn 30 new names every Sept (preferably within an hour of the start of the day!) and millions of teachers cope with that.

ChippyMinton · 08/01/2011 09:06

When you go into school it would be worthwhile to have a back-up suggestion wrt identifying the hats just in case? Badges or stickers as others have suggested?

queenofallshesurveys · 08/01/2011 11:41

ha! a few skeletons in the closet Lisascat, ones which shall stay firmly where they are! Back up suggestions is a good idea, and I think the bade thing is a winner. Failing that, I have little stick on name labels (such as the ones already inside the bloody hats!) which I could stick on the brim, which can be removed once they know which boy is which.

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queenofallshesurveys · 08/01/2011 11:41

sorry, badge thing, not bade

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queenofallshesurveys · 10/01/2011 05:24

Well, it turns out I was being VU and I am a bit Blush to update you all, but basically I went in to school this morning with the offending hats in my bag, ready to make my point in a firm but friendly way. Just as I am scouting around the playground for the Deputy Head, I suddenly see another child leg it past me in the playground wearing his school hat, which was clearly adorned with his name in thick black marker pen letters. I then bumped into our class rep, and asked her if all the children had their names written on their hats in this fashion, and she said 'oh yes, it makes it so much easier to identify them all when they are in the playgound, they all have their hats named like that'. Well, I was pathetically grateful for this piece of information as it came just in the nick of time before I made a complete tit of myself by complaining about something which turned out to be a school policy. I had spent the weekend bleaching the hats to try and remove the writing, and one of these had come up a treat as it was washable pen so came out very easily. As soon as I had been enlightened, I pulled a permanent pen out of my handbag (placed there especially this morning with a view to discretely labelling the replacement hats I was going to ask the school for!) and re-wrote DT's name back on the hat, shoved the hats into the respective bookbags and scuttled off feeling thankful, relieved, a bit shamefaced and bloody lucky to have discovered the truth in time! Thanks for all the advice, and sorry to have got you all involved in what turned out to be a non problem.

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ChippyMinton · 10/01/2011 16:39

Smile LOL at you having a pen handy in your bag to re-do the name. I never go anywhere without a Sharpie!

Glad it worked out.

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