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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to have "words"?

42 replies

Bogeyface · 06/01/2011 21:40

with whichever mother in DD's class that either a) thinks her little darling couldnt possibly get nits or b) cant be arsed to check and deal with it.

Every single fucking week I nit comb all the kids several times and every single fucking week DD2 is riddled. Its disgusting, big fat black things that are way to big to have grown that big in the 48 hours (max) since the previous combing. And of course that then means that the others get them and now I have them too.

I use a nitty gritty and am giving in tomorrow and buying hedrin to ensure totally clean heads to give us a start. But I am sick of it. I mean ffs, why would you not want rid of them? It isnt as if just the child gets them, they get passed around the whole family so surely it is in everyones interest to keep them clear?

I am almost 100% certain it is dd's best friend as they are inseperable, and I have seen her scratching fit to bleed. I feel so sorry for her but what can I do? I have done the "subtle hint" to the mother..."DD seems to have picked up nits again, I wonder where they get them from? You had better check X as I am sure she will have them too" and she just (literally) shrugs!

So sick to fucking death of this! If I ever and I mean EVER find one on the baby after it born then I will not be responsible for my actions.

OP posts:
chaya5738 · 06/01/2011 21:41

ok, but why would just want to have "words" with their mother? What about the father!?

WhyHavePets · 06/01/2011 21:42
Hmm

Hedrin does not always work.
Good luck with them.

pjmama · 06/01/2011 21:43

Complain to the school? If you're pretty sure which child they're coming from, then tell them that too and ask the school to have a direct word with the mother? I might be being naive, as no experience of this (yet!) but surely it's in the school's best interest to find the culprit and insist that it's dealt with too.

Sludge78 · 06/01/2011 21:44

I was lucky as a kid and never had nits though my nephew was always catching them. Do schools not still check kids and send letters home to each of the parents about treatment? I know a child at my daughters nursery had them and she was kept out of nursery until they had gone.

MadamDeathstare · 06/01/2011 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mutznutz · 06/01/2011 21:44

If your child is riddled with them, they're probably being born on her head...therefore it's likely you are not removing the lice and eggs completely.

I'd say hedrin and regular daily combing is what's needed to clear her completely...otherwise her and her friends could be regularly infecting each other.

MadamDeathstare · 06/01/2011 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pickgo · 06/01/2011 21:48

When you get your new bottle of stuff could you give half of it the DDs friend's mum. Say you've used but got some left over does she want it?
Failing that, if it's a regular problem you can ask the school to ask for a school nurse visit and get them to send out a strongly worder letter saying kids must not return to school until they and their families have been treated.
I think tea tree based shampoo/conditioners are really good at deterring the nasties.

WhyHavePets · 06/01/2011 21:48

The school can't do that pjmama.

Op, it doesn't always go round the family, some people get them some seem not to. No idea why.

Some people are really naive and apply hedrin (or similar) and assume the problem is dealt with. They likely also think that someone in the class is passing them around.

TBH, they are head lice, it is not actually a big deal (and before I get a dose of your high horse, yes I have dc and yes we have had recurrent issues just like you). Getting stressed out about it all is not going to help or make them go away.

YABU and ridiculous.

FabbyChic · 06/01/2011 21:49

Nowadays some schools say it isn't their problem. Why not say to her your daughter has nits so she should check her daughter! Parafin kills them and the eggs, doesn't smell nice though but works.

pickgo · 06/01/2011 21:51

whyhavepets it is not being ridiculous to get stressed out - it takes hourrrrsss to do all the combing treating rinsing etc.

Ohforfoxsake · 06/01/2011 21:51

Have a word with the teacher, she can check the children and report back to parents accordingly.
Also Vosene do a shampoo and spray which is meant to repel the critters. I use it and mine haven't had them in ages (touch wood). Could just be luck though...!

mutznutz · 06/01/2011 21:52

To be fair it's not the school's problem.

Headlice don't hide in the desks during the 6 weeks summer holidays and then leap out and attack the children when they arrive.

It's the parents problem and there's very little schools can do except send constant reminder letters that a lot of parents wont even bother reading.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 06/01/2011 21:53

Schools are not allowed to exclude nitty kids, not allowed to check heads and are advised not to send out "infestation" letters either individually or to the whole school. Which is why I think there is such a problem, it was never this bad when we have Nitty Norah!

I know that they are getting eggs laid etc, and riddled might be an exaggeration, but seriously, they dont get that big that quickly. I know what a teeny htchling looks like and these are fully grown fat things.

I think I may have to be more harsh and say what Madamdeathstare suggested. I do tell school but they are fed up too as there is not much they can do.

Taken from headlice.org

Do not send out an "alert letter" to other parents.

Do not exclude children who have, or are thought to have, head lice.

Do not recommend or support any mass action, including wet combing campaigns.

Do not agree with angry parents that routine head inspections should be reintroduced. They were never effective.

Do not refer parents directly to the Consultant in Communicable Disease Control. The appropriate clinical advisors are the school nurse, the local pharmacist, the health visitor, and the general practitioner.

Do not take, or support, actions simply "to be seen to be doing something" (such as sending out "alert letters").

OP posts:
Original poster
Bogeyface · 06/01/2011 21:56

whyhavepets you wont get a "dose" of my high horse for what you said about the nits themselves, but I do take issue with being called ridiculous! It takes 2 hours to thoroughly comb my 3, and I have to do that every other night. God alone knows where I will find the time for that when the baby comes, and all this because some people cant be arsed. It is totally avoidable!

OP posts:
overthehillmum · 06/01/2011 21:58

Hi, my daughter had nits practically every month, the school didn't send letters out or do anything, it was absolutely horrible for about a year, best thing I did was every time I washed my daughters hair (every second night), I put conditioner through her hair and then used the nit comb which seemed to catch the nits and also damage the eggs, it was less harmful than using the chemicals on her hair every week, I then washed the conditioner off, I tried to make it a bit more relaxing for my daughter as I was getting really worked up about it, then I tied her hair up and put an alice band round the top to try and keep it the infestation to a minimum when she was mixing with other kids.

mutznutz · 06/01/2011 22:01

My child's school sends nothing but head lice letters lol!

OP, your child could be the one infecting her friend if she is was 'riddled' when you last checked her....eggs take 5-10 days to hatch so I wouldn't be too hasty about getting annoyed with her friend's parents.

SharkSlayer · 06/01/2011 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 06/01/2011 22:05

To be honest I think "riddled" may have been over egging it but I am jsut sick to death of it.

And in theory I could treat her daughter yes, but then I could well find myself in court for goodness knows what, unfortunately!

OP posts:
CarGirl · 06/01/2011 22:05

You can condition comb by putting conditioner onto dry hair which makes the process shorter as less washing involved!!!

If a child is left infested and untreated it is neglect and you could tell the school if they don't act on it you will and phone social services. Drastic I know but if a child is constantly infested (I don't mean a parent struggling to get on top of them) then they will probably be anaemic, hence the expression "feeling lousy"

Original poster
Bogeyface · 06/01/2011 22:07

I didnt know about the anaemia Cargirl, thats shocking! I just thought it was a head thing but I suppose logically it would affect the body if they are literally blood suckers.

Meant to add earlier btw that after 4 days away from school we were clear. 2 days back and she is infested again. It ISNT US!!!

OP posts:
blackeyedsusan · 06/01/2011 22:07

I had a child come to school with her hair tied up, put in a bun and rock hard with hair spray. you could try that?

Grin
Original poster
Bogeyface · 06/01/2011 22:11

lol we do the bun and the hair band but the hairspray hadnt occured to me, I might give it a go!

I am thinking of trying to make headscarves fashionable again the in the gypsy style! That would help no end!

OP posts:
CarGirl · 06/01/2011 22:16

Worst of all is that some people aren't allergic to the blighters salivia so they don't itch......they are probably the people responsible for keeping the world infested Grin

I have 4 dds with long curling hairs, it's horrendous isn't it Sad

mutznutz · 06/01/2011 22:16

I don't see how your child can really be 'infested' in two days unless her head is permenantly attached to her friends Lol.

To be infested within that time frame all the lice on your daughters head would have had to crawl onto it...it really is far more likely that you removed all her live lice but missed some eggs.

They can be difficult little blighters to find as they're normally nearly the same as the hair colour...hence the reason they're such a problem.